Blue Sun Room FICTION - ROMANCE

Something To Think On: Chapter 3

Thursday, July 30, 2009

M/I. Post-BDM. The art of seduction; the art of war.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2434    RATING: 10.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Something To Think On
by
Chapter Three

Plenty of times in his life he’d wanted something, someone, but it wasn’t never like this. No – most times, wanting a person is a thing physical, a heat and a hardness in the loins. This wanting, it was somewhere else entirely. It fixed him in the chest, in the gut, a churning heaviness that didn’t show no signs of lifting.

And it wasn’t just wanting for her body, neither. He reckoned he probably did want that, but not in any desperate way. If that’d been it, it’d’ve been easy enough to tame. He wasn’t sly (contrary to Nandi’s asking, her last night in this world), but he conjured, if he was, desire still wouldn’t have been a thing that plagued him as it did some men – like Jayne, the way his eyes raked over Zoe, Kaylee, even River when they were turned away. No, he’d built up a fine ability over the years to file away those thoughts (though sometimes they came to him in dreams).

This wanting was for something else. She gave up her body to men for coin, but she was mighty restrained with her soul. He didn’t even know her – not in any proper and true sense, anyhow – but it was that he wanted.

It was a wanting hot and cold, fire and ice, but both ways it threatened to finish him, to eat him up till there was nothing left. He wanted to save her same time he wanted to ruin her, not far off the way he felt right now, in her empty shuttle, about all those gorram trinkets. Count up every single last one of them, put down in some permanent record; set fire to them all, forget they ever once crossed his vision. Never to’ve met her; alway to’ve known her. He wanted both, together, at once.

And he couldn’t even explain it proper. It didn’t make no sens

Comments
Sunday, 29 November 2009 06:00
Your description of how he wanted her, even before he could name what it was about her he wanted (more than just her body), and the wanting to have and know everything while at the same time wanting to ruin her is so compelling. It's an interesting thought, about the ruining, that bears more study. I'm not sure he wants to ruin her, his off-hand remarks when Inara's not around and once in the Message suggests he actually cares about and respects her profession more than he normally lets on. But perhaps this is Mal thinking that if Inara were to be with him, it would necessarily cause Inara ruin.

That conversation is one of my favourites. It is just so INTENSE, the first time they really seem at ease and that attraction comes out the regular way, instead of yelling and anger. And Kaylee. :)

And THEN with the anger and that slap. Wow. Both of them hurting themselves and each other.
Monday, 06 August 2012 14:19
I like the juxtaposition between Mal and Inara's awkward moments and the calmer ones between Kaylee and her Captain. I do think Mal cares about Inara though he is also puzzled by her, trying so hard to figure out what is real and what is mask or deflection. I don't however think he has much respect for her profession though maybehaps because in his eyes a woman who has sex for money is still a whore no matter how prettily she paints her face or how cultured she dresses it up. Ali D :~)
"You can't take the sky from me!"

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