Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL
Back Stories III: Chapter 6
Friday, May 8, 2009
The crew returns to where their unfortunate adventures began: a fish market on New Melbourne.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 3929 RATING: 10.0 (G) SERIES: FIREFLY
Chapter 6.
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It belongs to Joss and all those business people. I'm just playing.
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Simon’s voice rambled up through his chest to pass directly into Kaylee’s ear. “So,” he asked in a trying-to-be-casual voice that was just a note too high to fool her, “what exactly… are we?”
Kaylee didn’t open her eyes, but smiled. No way would she be answering this kind of question seriously. “I’d a’ thought that’d be obvious,” she replied cryptically.
She felt Simon’s effort at response build in his lungs only to be caught, held, then blown out in thoughtful silence. After a few more of these aborted attempts to speak, Kaylee decided to have a look at him, see what the holdup wa
Comments
Friday, 08 May 2009 01:05
Loved Wash's lines in this. The sympathy he has for River at the end of this story is sooo sweet. I feel like I understand River's emotions so much better now and how she can't help but feel.
“She doesn’t deserve him,” she said softly.
“Maybe,” Wash said, “but that’s not how it works.”
Is Wash speaking from first hand experience with himself and Zoe?
Loved how Mal is healing - glad Simon is a miracle worker And thanks for ending on a cliffhanger!
“She doesn’t deserve him,” she said softly.
“Maybe,” Wash said, “but that’s not how it works.”
Is Wash speaking from first hand experience with himself and Zoe?
Loved how Mal is healing - glad Simon is a miracle worker And thanks for ending on a cliffhanger!
Friday, 08 May 2009 04:28
I do feel sorry for River... Her first time jilted. In her fragile state, so sensitive to both the crush and the defeat.
I wonder if Wash agrees with River? She'd pick up on it if he didn't... Curious.
Mal's having dreams about Inara while wearing a cap on his head that stimulates pleasure centers? Whatever could that mean? *Guileless blank look*
Yeee, next chapter is the talk, the one I think all of us are waiting for with baited breath!
I wonder if Wash agrees with River? She'd pick up on it if he didn't... Curious.
Mal's having dreams about Inara while wearing a cap on his head that stimulates pleasure centers? Whatever could that mean? *Guileless blank look*
Yeee, next chapter is the talk, the one I think all of us are waiting for with baited breath!
Friday, 08 May 2009 07:41
Ah, River. You break my heart. It's really wonderful reading this. River on the show is this uncontrolled but at the same time ethereal and angelic creature, and here her more normal, teenaged side is coming out full force, with all its endearing and irritating aspects. You'd want to shake her for being delusional, for being petty, except this is something NO one can help, and it really does hurt and I love that you're giving her Wash as a comfort. These two barely connected on the show and this is such a lovely ground for them to meet.
Your Kaylee also keeps tickling me. Rarely have I seen her adorably evil side done so well, when she's the one teasing Simon, and at the same time it allows the question why she needs to tease him and avoid the conversation. You're really making me ship these two in this fic. :)
Jayne = extremely useful. I love that you let him be the hero in that last scene. Now I'm really looking forward to just exactly how Zoe's investigation will proceed. I love the thought of these three as a team. SUCH contrasts!
As for Mal and Inara's conversation, I'm bracing myself for Inara's sake... Squee!
Your Kaylee also keeps tickling me. Rarely have I seen her adorably evil side done so well, when she's the one teasing Simon, and at the same time it allows the question why she needs to tease him and avoid the conversation. You're really making me ship these two in this fic. :)
Jayne = extremely useful. I love that you let him be the hero in that last scene. Now I'm really looking forward to just exactly how Zoe's investigation will proceed. I love the thought of these three as a team. SUCH contrasts!
As for Mal and Inara's conversation, I'm bracing myself for Inara's sake... Squee!
Friday, 08 May 2009 09:27
Great job showing Mal's gradual return to himself. (But you have to ask, how will it change him, having returned to what he was before the war? I followed the PTSD thread and I'm wondering how you're going to show how this kind of intervention would affect the PTSD.) It creates a different kind of suspense to the action suspense while at the same time they complement each other.
I'm kind of sorry to see River not hating Inara so much. I was really enjoying that. Not because I don't love Inara, just because it was such fun. I love the way you show all the angles of the teenage crush, so very grounded in the physical. True, that she is deluded of course, but also so aware because of her abilities. Horrible combination.
I too am eagerly awaiting the Conversation!
I'm kind of sorry to see River not hating Inara so much. I was really enjoying that. Not because I don't love Inara, just because it was such fun. I love the way you show all the angles of the teenage crush, so very grounded in the physical. True, that she is deluded of course, but also so aware because of her abilities. Horrible combination.
I too am eagerly awaiting the Conversation!
Friday, 08 May 2009 12:32
I have mixed feelings about Inara. If she really is not intending to hurt Mal and can do some good then that is shiny but if not then she ought to keep clear of the Captain until he gets his head straight. And poor River, feeling so much and unable to have anyone yet to share it with. I loved it that Wash understands and feel a bit sad that Kaylee is so caught up in having sex with Simon that she has no time for River. I liked Jayne, he was very in character and it was good seeing him try to keep Zoe and Simon safe when the gunfire started. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
You can't take the sky from me
Friday, 08 May 2009 13:44
Great job with showing the pain of teenage heart break (I think we can all relate to that), usually River triumphs in these competitive love triangles with Mal and Inara, and Mal and River fly off into the sunset together, but you've crafted a much more likely scenario, Whedon style.
Jayne was wonderful as others, things are developing:)
Jayne was wonderful as others, things are developing:)
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