Fiyero lay there, in the mud the snow had melted into, cold, wet, caked in mud, and having his mouth ravished by River Tam as she was haphazardly on his stomach, her legs splayed on opposite sides of him. Her fingers pulled on his tunic, ran through his hair, and they both melted at one another's touch.

"Uhhh... River?"

River whimpered, her eyes shut with his, tears running down her eyes as she felt his mind lingering with her own.

"River."

Fiyero groped her leg with a muddy hand, squeezing her thigh, haphazardly cupping her perfectly shaped rear.

"RIVER."

They were completely absorbed in....

Mal grabbed River by the back of her coat and hauled her up to her feet. She looked startled, and slowly gazed up at him with a flushed face and neck, her backside muddy.

River gave an innocent smile.

"Take it you two are good friends?" He asked in an obviously rattled way, keeping hold of her while Fiyero still lay there, dazed as hell.

Zoe stood behind with brow drawn, Jayne was snorting lecherously, Hershel was mighty confused and Inara hung on the porch with Meilin, approving of the boyfriend but not the muddy near-tryst.

"Hey." Fiyero said, eyes un-dilating. Sitting up, he drew in a deep breath. "Uh...so... got your wave..."

"Missed him." River licked her lips unconsciously as Mal kept a firm hold on her, as if she might jump Fiyero's bones again.

"Well if that ain't the understatement of the year." The captain responded, then looking over to Fiyero. "Did you steal an Alliance patrol craft?"

"Maybe?" He gulped air.

The Captain rolled his eyes and set his jaw tight, exasperated. "And you flew it here? Where they'll find it and bring a world of trouble to? Like I don't have enough of it already?"

"Blow it up." River answered, still looking at Fiyero. "Middle of the prairie, boom."

Mal knew that look the young woman was giving, 'cause he and Inara looked at one another just like that before they found someone to babysit and then took off for the bedroom. He cleared his t