Guns & Violas, Part Two

--These characters and their mid-bulk transport belong to Joss Whedon, I'll scrub them and put them back after I'm done, I promise.--

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"You two better be checkin' for holes in my hull!" Mal called down again. "And no more shootin', understand?! EVER!" He turned back to the teary-eyed pilot, and almost jumped in suprise.

"Wash, what is it, what's goin' on...?"

"Mal..., I want you to hit me."

Mal eyed him warily. "Wh- Why, what'd you do..?"

"No, nothing. Well..., no. It's not about that. I gotta get rid of this toothache, and with Kaylee's new jamboree and all, it's driving me bonkers! Please, Mal. If it doesn't knock out the tooth, at least it will, me..."

"I ain't gonna hit ya, Wash!" Mal laughed incredulously.

Wash looked the Captain up and down, stepped in and squared his shoulders as much as the pain would allow. "Alright then..!, I ate that donut you were saving!" he tempted.

The Captain crossed his arms and gave him a non-punching glare. "Ya did, did'ja..? Hmm. I was savin' it so much too, ..cuz I don't like the coconut center ones.., ya did me a kindness."

"Ah...!" Wash continued, backing down a bit. "Okay then, I sent out a message to the Feds on the Cortex about our.. little.. salvage op last week...?"

Mal smirked. "..Right.., and ya know, I do recall they have good tooth doctors at those Fed stations, too."

"Yeah, I didn't think you'd buy that..." the little man slouched back against the wall, literally tongue-in-cheek.

"Talk to Simon, he'll get ya doctored up in a jiffy, so long as he's not too busy shootin' holes in my boat." He almost patted Wash on the side of the head, but opted for the shoulder instead. "Go on, get some 'a those super strength aspirins from the Doc, I'm up now thanks to the kettle drums, so I'll look after the piloting for awhile."

"God, I hate even thinking about that chair..." Wash grumbled as he proceeded to the infirmary.

"Hey, I had that chair