Blue Sun Room FICTION - ADVENTURE

A Waste of Water and Mud

Thursday, June 26, 2008

A job gone wrong, as usual.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3680    RATING: 9.0 (PG)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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A Waste of Water and Mud

by: 2x2

Rating: PG

Word Count: 477

Spoilers: None

Characters: Mal, Inara.

Notes: Drabble thing written for my dearest Ness who prompted me with Mal and Inara waist deep in mud after a heist gone wrong. This didn't quite meet the criteria, or go in a 'Mal carrying Inara' kind of direction either I'm afraid. And the only 'Waist' is the 'Waste' in the title, which incidentally comes from TS Eliot. It's different, I can say that much, but not much else. Maybe someday I'll write a real story out of it, but until then, I hope you at least find it interesting :o)

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A flash – lightning, illuminating the dreary mud-swollen street and her combatants – and then a crack of thunder splits overhead, rolling between the buildings with an echoing rumble. A heavy, wet smack of fist on skin and the expelled grunt of its receiver came after; the rain intensified, the roar of the torrent a near deafening cacophony as it struck the tin surface of the surrounding rooftops and thundered to the ground.

Two men circling each other raggedly, every step a struggle against the suctioning force of the morass of mud at their feet, breathing in heavy, ragged pants. A roar of effort and they clash again, fingers grasping for damp purchase against rain soaked skin, hair, clothing. Grim determination and angry desperation, bared teeth to bared teeth, struggling.

A hand wins free; its fingers curl and find the soft underbelly of its foe and one man staggers, a Chinese curse swallowed by the rain as mud turns traitorous and gives way beneath booted feet with slick and slippery betrayal. Then lungs screaming an airless scream as one lands atop the other, mud crawling into ears, eyes, nose; grasping, pulling down.

Crackling white and a thunderous boom felt chest deep as fingers claw and feet fight desperate to be free of the wet sucking death as hands push

Comments
Thursday, 26 June 2008 16:44
this was great - almost a noir touch - loved it.
Thursday, 26 June 2008 17:30
It's good, if a little short, and as always I wanted to know more! You know, you don't really need the indication that it's Mal and Inara until the very last paragraph - somehow you'd know it was them, and I love the phrase 'the companion tugs on the thief's arm' ... it's all there!
Thursday, 26 June 2008 20:03
I loved it too....and I could see it all in my mind's eye.
Thursday, 26 June 2008 20:05
Weee! Another Eliot fan!
Thursday, 26 June 2008 23:24
This would make a wonderful story - it's already an exceptional drabble.
KK
Monday, 30 June 2008 04:40
Very eloquent word choise in there. Interesting.

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