'Ski Comes to Serenity
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based on the world of Firefly by Joss Whedon
"So this is where ya been." Ski looked over the scene of Serenity and the bodies being burned in a makeshift pit. Kaylee sat rocking herself by the entrance to her life, casting a glance here and there just out of paranoia. "We taking her too, i suspect."
"I'll worry about her. I just need your talents for flying."
"And when we get there, you just gonna leave me wait in a gorram ship while you lay waste to the entire complex. You're good, Babe, but not that good." His callused fingers drew a cigarette to his mouth as he blew the smoke toward the fire. Cat had known him for about five years. Favors traded hands and it seemed that was how things went.
"Well, if you feel like lending a hand or a gun, I won't stop you. Haven't heard you complain about being shot at." She smiled at him taking the cigarette and sucking in a good drag. Her lips parted as the smoke escaped before handing it back. "Think our occupations will kill us before these do."
'Ski just grinned and took another drag. "What's wrong with this ship?"
"No crew. Full of blood. Not sure what else."
"Bullet pierced the catalyst and without it, we're dead in the water," Kaylee muttered.
"Could be easier than stealing a ship. Wouldn't need a crew, 'sides you and me and girl."
"Bay's loaded with blood. It'd take a few days to clean up."
"So. Ain't nuttin' you and I haven't been round before. Give you something to do while I fly."
"Funny." Cat turned to Serenity. "Make Mal happy to see we brought her."
"Ya think they're still breathin'?"
"Kinda have to. For both of us." Cat inclined her head toward Kaylee.
"Never seen you like this, Babe. Bad for business."
"You're just jealous because it ain't you."
"You know I like my women a bit darker." He smiled at her and snuffed the dead smoke
dusting her fingers off and walking over to Kaylee.
"So how do we go about gettin' this ca
You can't take the sky from me
You can't take the sky from me
Now on that note - you mind if I make just a couple of small suggestions? I know you probably don't want to make the story too-too long, but it's a little easier to visualise if you could describe the settings a little bit at the beginning of each chapter. Where do we begin, what are the surroundings like, who else is present - it can give readers a clearer mental image and draw them further into the world.
My other suggestion is, could you maybe specify who's speaking a little more often? I got a little confused a couple of times with the many lines of dialogue. Once again, it makes easier reading and greater enjoying. ;)
I REALLY like where you're going with this. Keep flyin' and keep writin' and don't let no purple-bellies drag you down! :D
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