Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

'Ski Comes to Serenity

Monday, April 28, 2008

Part thirteen.....thanks to Werzbowski for the loan of his character and thank all of you for reading!
Side Note to Jane0904, I will make the next one longer. I promise....:)

Cat and 'Ski analyze........

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3626    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

Tweet

'Ski Comes to Serenity

------------------------------------------

based on the world of Firefly by Joss Whedon

"So this is where ya been." Ski looked over the scene of Serenity and the bodies being burned in a makeshift pit. Kaylee sat rocking herself by the entrance to her life, casting a glance here and there just out of paranoia. "We taking her too, i suspect."

"I'll worry about her. I just need your talents for flying."

"And when we get there, you just gonna leave me wait in a gorram ship while you lay waste to the entire complex. You're good, Babe, but not that good." His callused fingers drew a cigarette to his mouth as he blew the smoke toward the fire. Cat had known him for about five years. Favors traded hands and it seemed that was how things went.

"Well, if you feel like lending a hand or a gun, I won't stop you. Haven't heard you complain about being shot at." She smiled at him taking the cigarette and sucking in a good drag. Her lips parted as the smoke escaped before handing it back. "Think our occupations will kill us before these do."

'Ski just grinned and took another drag. "What's wrong with this ship?"

"No crew. Full of blood. Not sure what else."

"Bullet pierced the catalyst and without it, we're dead in the water," Kaylee muttered.

"Could be easier than stealing a ship. Wouldn't need a crew, 'sides you and me and girl."

"Bay's loaded with blood. It'd take a few days to clean up."

"So. Ain't nuttin' you and I haven't been round before. Give you something to do while I fly."

"Funny." Cat turned to Serenity. "Make Mal happy to see we brought her."

"Ya think they're still breathin'?"

"Kinda have to. For both of us." Cat inclined her head toward Kaylee.

"Never seen you like this, Babe. Bad for business."

"You're just jealous because it ain't you."

"You know I like my women a bit darker." He smiled at her and snuffed the dead smoke

dusting her fingers off and walking over to Kaylee.

"So how do we go about gettin' this ca

Comments
Monday, 28 April 2008 22:52
I'm glad they got a little help in Ski but even happier they are going to take Serenity. Hope they ditch the bodies first though. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Tuesday, 29 April 2008 00:09
They burned the bodies in the first line, LOL.
Tuesday, 29 April 2008 02:32
Forgot to mention how much I'm enjoying this tale, and looking forward to some appropriate violence;-)
Tuesday, 29 April 2008 11:22
Angellemarcs, thanks for explaining what they did with the bodies, and you are welcome to the feedback. Love the way you are handling this story. I can't respond to your email sorry only if there is actually an email address. Keep Flyin' - Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Tuesday, 29 April 2008 12:14
Good stuff. Kaylee's more than a bit traumatized, but working on Serenity is going to help her no end, as long as Cat doesn't make her swab out the cargo bay!
Tuesday, 29 April 2008 13:42
All caught up, and....whew!!!! You've gotten our BDHs into quite a peck o' trouble here!! Earlier chapters - nicely done. You've got us giving a good gorram about Cat by giving us a little insight into her and her past with Mal. Aaaaand, now we know she's got a fighting chance whenever she finds them. You could REALLY keep us in breathless anticipation if you drag the search out over a few chapters, ya know. ;)

Now on that note - you mind if I make just a couple of small suggestions? I know you probably don't want to make the story too-too long, but it's a little easier to visualise if you could describe the settings a little bit at the beginning of each chapter. Where do we begin, what are the surroundings like, who else is present - it can give readers a clearer mental image and draw them further into the world.

My other suggestion is, could you maybe specify who's speaking a little more often? I got a little confused a couple of times with the many lines of dialogue. Once again, it makes easier reading and greater enjoying. ;)

I REALLY like where you're going with this. Keep flyin' and keep writin' and don't let no purple-bellies drag you down! :D

Post Your Comments

You must log in to post comments.