Blue Sun Room FICTION - ROMANCE

My choice - sequel to 'The reason'

Tuesday, November 13, 2007

Live or die? Crew's reaction...Enjoy and let me know what you think =) Please?

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 2923    RATING: 8.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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After going out of Inara's room, Mal 'waved' Serenity and the crew was there in an instant.

"How is she Mal?" asked Wash.

"Not good." he sighed bitterly "One wrong wire and she'll-well..."

"What does she have sir?" Zoe was clearly using her stern-mask to keep in control.

"Can't Simon and the docs do anything for her?" asked a weeping Kaylee.

"Simon told me she was bleeding internally because she has organs trying to burst out from the muscles which keep them in place. She can do a surgery and has 98% chance of getting good as new with it. But..." he took a deep breath "She's refusing.’Till now."

"Why is she refusing? River said something about refusal before she slept-" asked the shepherd.

"An' what do ya mean 'till now?" jumped in Jayne.

"'parently, her ma had the same thing when she was a kid and the docs were just as optimist but she still died. Not even the guild is making things better, when she refused the operation; they took her license and won't give it back to her again."

There was an uncomfortable silence for a while the crew ducked their heads to let it all sink in.

"But well... she ain't sure yet so... I'll hail as soon as I can."

"Good luck, Mal." They all murmured as the notion of whether they'll accept their feeling filled their heads. But then again, they were as stubborn as Serenity's hull.

~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~~

That night was pondering on that day which will change his life. Make him soar or crush him down. Happy or sad – and it was all in the graceful hands of the woman he loved and who made him believe again. Believe in her.

He entered her room, blood running cold. She woke up from her nap and smiled that smile which made him want to scream to the whole 'verse that he loved her.

"So. Have you um...decided?"

"Yes...I'll give you another chance." She grinned and rested her forehead against his as they let out a breath from the revelation. Then he looked into her eyes lovingly.

"Thanks 'Nara. I swear…you won't regret it."

"I know

Comments
Wednesday, 14 November 2007 08:57
I like the tale, but it feels a little rushed, and there are paragraphs that don't quite make sense. Why did Inara change her mind? Perhaps it should have taken Mal longer to persuade her, with all the tears and recriminations that could have brought. It also makes the sweetness of the kiss more satisfying.

But please continue. I want to know if the surgery turns out well or not.
Wednesday, 14 November 2007 15:00
Then read the next part because the agnst will strike again! *evil laugh*
Monday, 26 November 2007 10:51
A couple of sentences just don't read right which may need a little tinkering so they are easier to understand your exact meaning. For example: *They all murmured as the notion of whether they'll accept their feeling filled their heads*. And the other one came shortly after: *That night was pondering on that day which will change his life* - this sentence makes it sound as if the day is pondering when you surely mean Mal is the one doing the heavy thinking? If yo inserted 'her' after night and before was this would make sense. Just a thought, other than that I like the story. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
Monday, 26 November 2007 10:53
Ooops, typo, I meant insert 'he' not 'her' and didn't mean to drop the 'u' from 'you'. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me

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