Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL
Back Stories I, Chapter 2/14 - Zoë
Thursday, May 3, 2007
Mal revisits an unpleasant time. Then – the captain’s getting on Zoë’s nerves. A meeting with Badger brings things to a head, and much drunkenness ensues.
CATEGORY: FICTION TIMES READ: 4251 RATING: 9.0 (PG13) SERIES: FIREFLY
Disclaimer: It belongs to Joss and all those business people. I’m just playing.
Rating: PG to NC17. I will not put warnings on each chapter, because I don’t want to give things away. In general, don’t be getting into any of this if you’re not prepared for adult storylines, violence, explicit sexual content, and - oh my - bad words.
Many thanks: to several fireflyfans.net members: and for hours of beta reading and entertaining discussions of many things. , , and provided additional beta time on the early chapters. The talented did the lovely artwork. (Ain’t it nice?) and http://www.chinesetools.com provided many colorful Chinese phrases. One of fine fics provided a useful plot bunny. (I won’t tell which yet!) Finally – kudos to for her inspirational fic .
Comments
Thursday, 03 May 2007 15:03
Thanks again for the shiny feedback on Chapter 1! squeeeeeee!
Sorry for forgetting you in the credits Leighkohl! I fixed it now. :)
Eloisa - you're so right, much resolution needed after ET. Of course, first I need to complicate things a whole lot more LOL!
Katesfriend - nope, no hints! I'm too evil for that! But the general direction should be clear after another chapter or two...
Hmmmm, product placement. I should be getting those royalty checks any day now... waiting... ok, maybe a free cinnabon? :)
Sorry for forgetting you in the credits Leighkohl! I fixed it now. :)
Eloisa - you're so right, much resolution needed after ET. Of course, first I need to complicate things a whole lot more LOL!
Katesfriend - nope, no hints! I'm too evil for that! But the general direction should be clear after another chapter or two...
Hmmmm, product placement. I should be getting those royalty checks any day now... waiting... ok, maybe a free cinnabon? :)
Thursday, 03 May 2007 16:32
Absolutely LOVE the opening!!!!
The rest is great too, but the opening.... wow.
Well done!
The rest is great too, but the opening.... wow.
Well done!
Thursday, 03 May 2007 16:52
You're back!!! I've read The Fish Job and Easy Tickets and absolutely love them. First chapter of this and I'm totally hooked :)
Thursday, 03 May 2007 17:17
That was great, just like the rest of your stories. I love Mal and Zoe interaction. Can't wait for the next chapter.
Thursday, 03 May 2007 19:05
The description of the opening was so vivid and clear that I could imagine it being filmed just that way. Brilliant! And asking who taught Zoe how to drive was so perfect for the end of that scene.
The Mal/Zoe interaction was very well done but my favorite was the end when Zoe got into bed and she dimly noted Wash's presense and how much it calmed her.
You're so good with the little things!
Looking forward to the next chapter!
The Mal/Zoe interaction was very well done but my favorite was the end when Zoe got into bed and she dimly noted Wash's presense and how much it calmed her.
You're so good with the little things!
Looking forward to the next chapter!
Friday, 04 May 2007 02:32
Your work is well worth waiting for and this story is a gem. I love how you worked in Mal's awareness of the Problem and the tiny glimpses you're evilly teasing us with of the bigger picture to come. But that's okay - I'm patient (not really) and the anticipation you're building will make it all the sweeter.
Friday, 04 May 2007 02:49
Beautiful chapter. I promise I'll get to reading your other stories as soon as I can. I'm very impressed by your writing.
Rob O.
Rob O.
Friday, 04 May 2007 03:47
I can't wait to find out what is doing this to Mal, was it the electricity, is it just a broken heart. But hmm, memory lapses only concern Inara, who ran off with the Alliance, did she give him something. Sulks off to contemplate evil plots...........
Friday, 04 May 2007 03:48
Terrific writing on this chapter. Zoe is so hard to get, but I think you've nailed her tone and thought processes. And it's a great insight that she is more than aware how out of control her life is at the moment. Something tells me Mal losing his mind will have far-reaching effects on Zoe's own consciousness ... and ones she may not even be prepared for!
Sunday, 06 May 2007 17:05
Sorry for the late comment...getting caught up
Your Mal and Zoe interaction is one of the best ones I've read in a long time.
This is how I see them (Captain and his unwavering loyal First)...we don't know what singular event or process that lead them to form such an attachment...but I like how you didn't cross that shady line, other writers walk, and make it about unresolved sexual attraction.
You did a great job showing how burdened Zoe is with keeping Serenity flying and helping Mal from completely losing touch with reality. And how Wash is her anchor.
Your Mal and Zoe interaction is one of the best ones I've read in a long time.
This is how I see them (Captain and his unwavering loyal First)...we don't know what singular event or process that lead them to form such an attachment...but I like how you didn't cross that shady line, other writers walk, and make it about unresolved sexual attraction.
You did a great job showing how burdened Zoe is with keeping Serenity flying and helping Mal from completely losing touch with reality. And how Wash is her anchor.
Monday, 07 May 2007 06:19
I really enjoyed this chapter. It was nice that you revisited those infamous ten minutes (though I suppose nice is an odd word to use regarding such events...). If I recall correctly, you went straight to SCIENCE last time around! (For the record, though, I thought it was masterfully handled in EZTix.)
As always, I find we have very similar understandings of how these characters think and feel and behave, which makes it quite enjoyable to read.
I loved Jayne's perspective of not envying Zoe's imminent 'confrontation' with Mal - as though it were going to be with the business end of a wrench as he's more personally accustomed.
I love your Zoe - her strength, her compassion, her wisdom... and, of course, her connection with Mal. But also her struggle, her despair, and her respite with Wash. I love how she challenges Mal and protects him all at once.
I also loved how Mal's not completely helpless or clueless in all of this, and I like where you've left it with Zoe keeping his confidence, save for Wash.
But you missed a promising opportunity. With just a little more description you could be picking up some royalties from the distillery too! Eh, maybe next time...
As always, I find we have very similar understandings of how these characters think and feel and behave, which makes it quite enjoyable to read.
I loved Jayne's perspective of not envying Zoe's imminent 'confrontation' with Mal - as though it were going to be with the business end of a wrench as he's more personally accustomed.
I love your Zoe - her strength, her compassion, her wisdom... and, of course, her connection with Mal. But also her struggle, her despair, and her respite with Wash. I love how she challenges Mal and protects him all at once.
I also loved how Mal's not completely helpless or clueless in all of this, and I like where you've left it with Zoe keeping his confidence, save for Wash.
But you missed a promising opportunity. With just a little more description you could be picking up some royalties from the distillery too! Eh, maybe next time...
Monday, 07 May 2007 16:28
Oh...the level of sheer brilliance found here is completely astounding, mal4prez! Start to finish, this was something I could imagine Joss and his merry band of scribes slogging over as part of their Big Plan for BDS;D
The opening flashback to Mal being tortured by Will in "Easy Tickets" was both all kinds of enlightening and creepy. Especially when you have Will discuss his background as an Alliance SpecOps commando will all kinds of...interesting...skills. Cuz I get the feeling that the voltage in the exposed power cable? Just the right amount to fry Mal's brain the right way, unlike the massive amount of juice Niska used on him in "War Stories."
And I will be damned to Book's Special Hell if I wasn't busting a gut at the hilarious antics you have Zoe, Mal and Jayne getting up to in their getaway from the mall! Between Zoe's chastisement of River's attempt to get a date with the electronics store clerk to Mal's response to Zoe's driving habits...I struggling to breathe since I was laughing so hard:D
However, I REALLY have to give you props for how you handled the Mal-Zoe conversation about Mal's current affliction. All the voices were spot on and I could totally see Mal being cognisant of how the crew has been tiptoeing around him because of the memory loss. Also have to praise your decision to have Zoe be honest with Mal about everything but the direct source of his amnesia; Mal deserves to know that he's not 100%, though I am glad you had Zoe tell him that even if he can't trust himself...he should trust her.
BEB
The opening flashback to Mal being tortured by Will in "Easy Tickets" was both all kinds of enlightening and creepy. Especially when you have Will discuss his background as an Alliance SpecOps commando will all kinds of...interesting...skills. Cuz I get the feeling that the voltage in the exposed power cable? Just the right amount to fry Mal's brain the right way, unlike the massive amount of juice Niska used on him in "War Stories."
And I will be damned to Book's Special Hell if I wasn't busting a gut at the hilarious antics you have Zoe, Mal and Jayne getting up to in their getaway from the mall! Between Zoe's chastisement of River's attempt to get a date with the electronics store clerk to Mal's response to Zoe's driving habits...I struggling to breathe since I was laughing so hard:D
However, I REALLY have to give you props for how you handled the Mal-Zoe conversation about Mal's current affliction. All the voices were spot on and I could totally see Mal being cognisant of how the crew has been tiptoeing around him because of the memory loss. Also have to praise your decision to have Zoe be honest with Mal about everything but the direct source of his amnesia; Mal deserves to know that he's not 100%, though I am glad you had Zoe tell him that even if he can't trust himself...he should trust her.
BEB
Friday, 18 May 2007 00:35
Brilliant, I just love the way Zoe watches out for her Captain and friend, that is real friendship. Made me smile when they were getting smashed together in his bunk and I loved dear Wash getting Zoe undressed and snug in their bunk afterwards. I surely do hope Simon can find a way to help Mal though. Ali D :~)
You can't take the sky from me
You can't take the sky from me
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