~None of this is mine. It belongs to either Joss Whedon or Terry Pratchett. That’s no excuse, though...~

It was Kaylee’s inter-engine fermentation system that caused the problem. They all agreed on that. But they had had a whole week where they hadn’t been chased, shot at, married against their will, hero-worshipped, arrested, hijacked or boarded by demented bounty hunters. So she figured that it was time to bring the good stuff out, maybe see if the Doctor could manage to forget being proper for one evening. She’s ferreting around, trying to reach the jar, (puts it where only small hands can reach it, on account of Jayne) when something runs past her hand.

Now, Kaylee has heard a lot of stories about the engineers of Earth-That-Was, tales of the gremlins in the engines. But none of the stories had ever mentioned them being blue.

0000

Wash blinked awake. There it was again. Some kinda movement, corner of his eye.

“Ha’ at ye, beastie. Wit ye lookin’ at?”

Well, the voices are new. Checks the console. Nope, Cortex isn’t on. Then gives an outraged yelp.

“One of my dinosaurs is missing!”

0000

Inara has bathed in front of clients before. She is used to eyes upon her. But she doesn’t expect that sensation whilst she is in her shuttle on board the ship.

“Ye was tae try an’ cuddle this yan, ye’d need a week, man.”

“Aye, an’ bathin’, tis not a natural thing for a body.”

0000

Book checks that the door is securely closed, then takes off the hairtie. He values these small moments of privacy, the chance to take a breath. The hardest part of life in the Abbey had been the communal living. Sluices his face with the lukewarm water, then straightens up to grab his towel.

There, in front of the mirror, and holding a bottle as big as he is, is a little blue man. Both yell.

“Crivens, tis a yeti!”

Smashing glass, and Book is left alone in a fog of bewilderment and aftershave.

0000

Simon looks up from his careful me