Disclaimer: Firefly and all of it’s characters, places, names, etc, are property of Joss Whedon (in other words, this ain’t mine, just writing for fun and grades)

Malcolm Reynolds watched the Reaver ship come closer. Of course, when one can see a Reaver ship it is already uncomfortably close. Wash was in the pilots chair, as calm and cool as one could expect him to be. That is; he was only falling short of being a blithering idiot, and that was only cuz a Zoë having her hand on his shoulder. Woman could work miracles, she could. He punched in the com again. “Kaylee?”

After a moment, “Everythin’s shiny, cap’n!”

“Ain’t lookin’ so gorram shiny at the mo’. Why ain’t we able to run her?”

After another, longer moment, “Um… Serenity’s been actin’ up a bit, Cap’n. ‘Member those power couplings I done tol’ ya ‘bout?”

“Gorramit!!!” Mal slammed his fists down onto the control panel he stood in front of. “JAYNE!!!!! Where is that damned slubberdegullion?!?!?!”

After a second, the com crackled to life again. “Uh… yeah, Mal?”

Mal went deathly quiet. “Jayne? You been doin’ what you oughn’t be doin’ right at the mo’.” It wasn’t a question. And the thing he shouldn’t be doing at the moment was getting hammered.

“Yeah, Mal.”

“And you’re gonna have a hangover soon.” Again, more a statement than a question.

“Yeah, Mal.”

“Go to the doc.”

“But-“

“Mayhaps you’re forgettin’ who’s the captain here. ‘Member the Chain of Command?”

“Yeah, Mal.” The com they were speaking over momentarily burst in to static.

“And what is it?”

Jayne sighed, voice heavy with liquor. “It’s… the Chain ya beat me with ‘til I understand who’s in ruttin’ command here.” So what if it was Jayne’s words? Mal was never one to pass up a good metaphor. Or whatever.

“Good. I’m the captain, an’ you’re the crew. Go see the doc.”

“Alrigh’… over n’ out.”

Mal rubbed his temples with his free hand while simultaneously coming in Simon. When he picked up, the Tam’s voice was strained. ”Yes, Captain?”

“You just got yourself another