Disclaimer: all things Firefly/Serenity are the property of Whedon et al. I'm not making any money off this, just playing with the toys.

For the lj prompt "bones". I recommend reading "Sunday's Child" first.

Many thanks to hisgoodgirl for the fantastic beta job.

Your name is still above the hatch and it hurts me every time I look at it. Too many memories assault me whenever I see that flower or butterfly. I want to tear it down and toss it out the airlock along with all the other emotions in a giant scream.

Sometimes I want to join the sign and just let myself be nothing.

But you wouldn’t like that very much. You’d say some such about life being for living and making the best of a bad situation. Didn’t matter how bad, there was always some good come of it.

Like when Tracey had taken you hostage. I saw the fear in your eyes as I climbed those steps, quiet and smooth. Jayne and the Captain had seen it, too. But when we landed and you walked sure as could be to his folks and passed them that recording, then grasped Simon’s hand, you’d found the good. Tracey’d brought you two together.

I remember watching you both those early weeks after Miranda, my heart aching with each shared glance and whisper. The quiet touches when you thought no one was watching were so different from how things were with Wash and me. He was never one for stealth and I suppose that was something I loved about him.

He had been loud, boisterous and more than ready to display affection. Kind of like you, just a little.

But he never painted little flowers over the hatch to our bunk. Never jerry-rigged a hammock in the cockpit. Never had time to register the wood that had taken his life.

I did. Felt it beyond my bones, deep into my being. And it paralysed me.

“Zoe?” I heard Simon’s voice.

With a blink and turn, I faced the doctor.

“I need...” He hesitated then pointed an unsteady finger towards the hatch. “Her things.” He clenched his lips between his teeth.

I nodded. Your famil