The Bravest Thing Part 5 by Nailani Williams

Disclaimer: No Copyright Infringement intended so Joss put down the Sword of Truth!

Summary: Taking place after the BDM. Jayne and Zoe, pairing. Jayne’s secret personal grief from his past ends up pushing him closer to Zoe than he could ever imagine.

Rating: PG-13

A/N: Thank you all who have read and responded to my fic, it warms my heart that you like it! Keep feeding the feedback monster she’s greedy! LOL! Please, forgive any mistakes I have no Beta.

Warning: This part is very, very angsty…

Thank you for reading!

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Jayne:

I was having that gorram dream again. I was digging, screaming for Ruby to hold on, that Daddy was coming for her. It seemed like I dug for her forever, the sun rose and set and rose and set again; and I was no closer to her. Finally, I just stopped. It was the first time, in ten years of having this dream, that I stopped digging. I fell to my knees and cried.

“I’m sorry, baby, I can’t… I can’t, anymore,” I cried. I cried so hard my throat ached, like I was screaming more than crying. I suddenly felt her hand on my back.

“Why are you crying, Daddy?” she whispered in my ear. I looked up and I was on our porch. Ruby was standing there in her Sunday’s best, a little mint green chiffon dress with bows on it. She had a green bows tying back all that curly unruly hair she inherited from her mama. I immediately pulled her into my arms and held her, crying.

“So you finally stopped, Jay,” Vera said sitting there on the porch; also dressed in her Sunday’s best a white frilly lacey number that I loved. She was sitting in the rocker my mama gave her and she was holding a baby. I went to her still holding Ruby in my arms and sat down on the bench in front of her. Ruby was holding me just as tightly as I was.

“I didn’t mean to, I just couldn’t, I’m so tired, baby,” I said not bothering wiping away the tears that were falling from my eyes.

“You should be tired, all that trying to change something, that you can’t change, I