Blue Sun Room FICTION - GENERAL

The Price Paid--Chapter 1--Lost Kin

Friday, May 23, 2003

This takes place before and after the Battle of Serenity, before there is a ship called Serenity. Mal and Zoe have a history this is how it began.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3924    RATING: 9.0 (G)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Lost Kin

She stared at her feet as she trudged through the ever present muck. The walk back from the administration center to the mess hall was the longest trek possible within the confines of the camp. She thought it was probably because experience had shown their captors that the likeliest spot for a riot to begin, given the paucity and quality of the food, was the mess. That would be something they wanted as far from their own living quarters and the armory as possible. Because defeated or not, there were still 100 trained soldier-prisoners for every Alliance guard. It was an interesting thought which Zoe put away to think on later, if necessary. Everywhere they fought, the Feds had superior numbers, better fire power too. They still had the firepower, but no so much on the numbers, now.

When she entered Serenity Valley with Malcolm Reynolds, he was the sergeant, she the corporal, they had a lieutenant and a total complement of 35; three 10-man squads, the lefty, a radioman, medic, Mal and herself. Five days later so many officers were dead Mal was brevetted to Captain and in command of two thousand souls. She was his second.

They held out against overwhelming numbers for near 2 months before the command came to lay down arms. She thought the day the order came down that Mal might lie down and die beside those already fallen. His duty to the living wouldn't let him. By then they were down to less than 500 souls. And there they were left, wounded and sick and dying, for a week while the higher ups settled the terms. Mal had watched and raged and cursed God and the Alliance equally as they just kept dying. It was really that week when Mal began to lose faith. It was the helplessness as more than two thirds of those left fell needlessly. By the time they were Medivac'd out less than 150 were left; none but she and Mal from their original complement. Once they got to the camp Mal had been bound and determined, come hell or high water, every man-jack left was getting out alive. Somehow they'

Comments
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 23 May 2003 15:10
Nice.. :-))
"Where I go, you go. We're family."... I like that.
ANONYMOUS
Friday, 23 May 2003 15:50
Wow that was beautiful and it really helps explain the bond between Mal and Zoe.
Sunday, 25 May 2003 09:58
First thing that came to mind was 'That was really sweet.' Very evocative, and it carries its mood very well through the entire story. What stuck out for me in terms of detail was the excellent portrayal of frontier life, in terms of attitude, equipment, and behavior. Visualization was good and the characterization felt right on.

Of course, you realize that people around here won't let you off with just this one. You're committed to turning out more now, right?

If you want some brass tacks, well the grammar and spelling had some slips that caught my eye. In terms of structure and plot, it worked just was just fine for the length it was.

Keep flyin' along that keyboard.
ANONYMOUS
Saturday, 26 July 2003 19:58
This gives a firmer understanding of the relationship Mal & Zoe have as adults. You can see how his moral compass is being formed, Zoe's calmness is a difficult situation.

Loved it look forward to reading the other chapters. Writing from the UK always a little behind but we love catching up.

write more please.
ANONYMOUS
Sunday, 29 February 2004 21:33
This was just great...knew their bond was really strong and this was a nice way to start the piece...
MalsDoxy

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