Disclaimers : Everything belongs to Joss, except for one character of my creation

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“A paternity test ?” Jayne exclaimed incredulously. “Why would he wanna go and do that?”

Wash rolled his eyes. “What part of taking a paternity test do you not get?”

“The part where he goes lookin’ for that kinda trouble.” Jayne leaned against the bulkhead on the bridge, arms folded, shaking his head in disbelief. “He shouldn’ta got himself involved with this to begin with—it ain’t his problem.”

“Jayne!” Kaylee objected, clearly shocked. “It is his ‘problem’.”

Jayne grunted. “If a woman don’t tell ya she’s got your kid, it ain’t your responsibility. She didn’t tell him nothin’. If he finds out it’s his, it’s only cuz’a Doc and his fancy tests.”

”She tried to wave,” Wash offered.

“She tried to wave ‘cause she needed a rescue when that gorramn prison got lit up, and she knew her ass was a goner. She didn’t tell him when she found out she was knocked up, did she? So that makes it...let’s see...NOT. HIS. PROBLEM.”

“Jayne, Cap’n’s tryin’ to do the right thing,” Zoë said softly. She glanced at Wash, her look less certain than her words.

“Captain’s always gettin’ hisself and the rest of us involved with somethin’ or someone we ought not to be involved with,” Jayne griped. “We need to be lookin’ for jobs, not runnin’ around pickin’ up more strays. We ain’t even rid of the other ones yet.” He glared at Kaylee, as though it was her fault that Simon and River were still on board. “Can’t even take on passengers, ‘cause the rooms are full up.”

Kaylee set her jaw and glared back at him in disgust. “Such compassion, Jayne. I hope you never get anyone ‘knocked up’, that’s all I can say.”

Jayne chuckled crassly.

“Oh, I ‘magine I’ve planted a few seeds in my time,” he replied, grinning a cockeyed grin. “Only difference is, those women knew the score—they did what they had to do and didn’t come whingin’ to m