Blue Sun Room FICTION - SUSPENSE

Part 1 in my 7 prompt series- death: Inara

Tuesday, August 22, 2006

In my lj journal, i've been talking about a prompt series, couldn't think of much, but been ina certain mood lately, so death caught me. So this is the first, Inara.
Warning: character death. Insinuation of sex crimes.

CATEGORY: FICTION    TIMES READ: 3400    RATING: 9.0 (PG13)    SERIES: FIREFLY

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Death Prompt

chapter 1: Inara

Captain Dedrick zipped up his trousers and laughed evilly, openly excited with the digusting deed he'd just done. He looked to his right side, to his first mate.

"Bobby, kill the whore when yur done with'er. Don't need 'er fer' nuthin."

Kaylee shot up from the chair she'd been sitting in, feeble and afraid. "No!" She hit the floor, face suddenly bleeding, after the first mate stuck her mercilessly with the back of his hand.

Dedrick laughed again. "Don't beat 'er too bad. Need 'er to fix what she broke, get this ship runnin' 'fer her crew gets back." He grabbed Kaylee up by her hair and dragged her out of Inara's shuttle, shutting the hatch behind him.

Working in the engine room with a gun to her head, Kaylee heard a shot from Inara's shuttle and dropped her hands from the engine, no longer caring about the cold steel of a pistol forming a circle in her skin.

She didn't move, and disregarded the sound of the cocking pistol.

Suddenly, Jayne showed up at the door, quiet as a mouse. She noticed him before Dedrick did, and the evil whoon dahn dropped dead behind her.

Kaylee stood up and ran past Jayne, rushing to Inara's shuttle.

She reached it soon enough, and tears fell silently when Mal walked out of Inara's shuttle, her limp form in arms.

Kaylee was sure it was the first and last day she'd ever seen a tear fall from her captain's eyes.

Comments
Tuesday, 22 August 2006 06:59
Out of principle I can't rate this. But this is stark and ugly and full of hurt.

I can't say I hate that. It's a flame that brings this moth in on course.

Still, I'd be interested in knowing what the hell the back story to this is.
Tuesday, 22 August 2006 10:04
Oh. My. God.
That was dark my friend, to the point of being downright disturbing.

That's not to say it was bad however. In fact, I found it to be quite good, just a little bit of a bad aftertaste (is it correct to refer to fanfic as a food thing).
Tuesday, 22 August 2006 12:22
Yes, this is a dark one - more November than August. You have got to get out into the sunshine.

I found this compelling but...was distracted by the misspellings (sorry if that sounds harsh but listen, it almost rhymes!)
Tuesday, 22 August 2006 12:25
been doin alot of mispellin lately. is it possible to lose spelling abilities through loss of sleep?
Tuesday, 22 August 2006 12:31
ok, mispellin's been fixed for the most part. yea, it is dark, death tends to be just that. I imagine the next six will be just so as well. seein as i'm not sure none of these reviews are positive, i'll not post the next six here, but just in my lj bit (been usin that word alot too, loosin my vocab as we speak!)
Tuesday, 22 August 2006 14:54
Very dark. I like dark fics. I would like to see the backstory as well, though I understand if you don't write it because dark stories can be emotionally draining. I liked this (I'm sorta strange that way, darker fics are my favorite) There is so much fluff out there, its nice to have some dark in the mixture.
Wednesday, 30 August 2006 00:46
Auggh. In a good way, I think this is excellently written. I can't read too much dark at once, because it drains me, but Mordsith is right, it can't all be fluff either. So if I'm to read it I want it to be the good stuff; this was.

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