The usual disclaimer: They're not mine (though I wish Jayne was), and I'm making no $$$ off of this.

This story contains subject matter that, while more implied than graphic, some folks might find offensive/disturbing.

Feedback is greatly appreciated! Leave me lots, good or bad. Your encouragement/criticism is what keeps me going.

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It had all started innocently enough. Kaylee had needed to do some repairs on the engine that required some muscle and Jayne had been happy enough to help. Two weeks in the black had left him irritated and bored so any diversion from the norm was a welcome relief.

As Kaylee prattled on he let his mind drift, but her sudden silence brought him back. He looked over at her, and found her eyes on him. "What?"

Kaylee's expression was grumpy, "You weren't listenin', were you?"

"Sorry."

"S'alright. I was just curious is all."

"Curious about what?"

Kaylee hesitated then let out a sigh, "I was just wonderin' if you remembered the first time you killed a man."

Jayne's expression was grim. "You still upset about what happened at Niska's ain'tcha?"

She nodded, "I just don't know why I froze up so, but for River it just came natural."

"'Cause she's a moonbrain. Don't worry about it. You don't need to be shootin' anyone anyway."

"So what was it like, the first time you did it?"

"Got other first times I'd rather talk about," he leered.

Kaylee rolled her eyes, "Don't want to know 'bout those. Who was it?"

"Gorram it girl, you ain't gonna let this go are you?"

"Nope."

Jayne looked away, "T'was the Bogeyman," he whispered.

Kaylee wasn't sure if she was more surprised by his answer, or how it was delivered. But something about both kept her from pressing further...

Jayne recalled this conversation as he lay in his bunk that night fighting off sleep, because he knew that when it came the memories sunk deep in his brain like a festering wound would surface. He battled mightily but eventually succumbed, his eyes closin