The Ballad of Wash and Zoe

I suppose you’ve wondered, or puzzled in your head

How it ever came to happen that this awkward pair was wed

Well sit down on that barstool and have a drink or two

While I tell you the story, and most of it is true

Yes buy a drink of whisky, and one for me as well

For the story’s long in telling, and thirsty is the tell

They met aboard Serenity, when Mal first made his buy

She was Mal’s loyal comrade, he was just along to fly

There was no first-sight love involved, no flutter of her heart

To Zoe he was just a loudly dressed replacement part

And Wash has never said a word of what he felt that day

But after he saw Zoe he decided he would stay

The whole first year they hardly spoke, just orders, work, and such

Zoe at least knew his name, but didn’t like him much

The second year was friendlier, and sometimes they’d converse

Zoe started thinking that she’d probably met worse

When the third year ended, why they were best of pals

And Zoe started feeling strange when he talked to other gals

Halfway through the fourth year they were down on some poor moon

Waiting for a cargo, and it couldn’t come too soon

Only place to spend time was a rotten little bar

Where the best booze and the worst booze were both poured from the same jar

The clientele, as you’d expect, was not the finest sort

But more the kind that you would find brought up before the court

Mostly when the crew would drink, they’d go there in a bunch

Since none would challenge Mal’s fast gun, or Jayne’s mule flattening punch

But everyone had work to do, upon that fateful night

So only Wash and Zoe went, to stop in for a pint

And speaking of a pint, my friend, my throat’s sure getting dry

I’d gladly tell the story’s end, if you will kindly buy

The bar room it was crowded and the bar room it was dark

Outside in the alley you could hear a mongrel bark

At the bar a human mongrel, with eyes as black as sin

Looked up as Wash and Zoe reached the doorway, and came in

He whispered to his cronies, “We