Disclaimer: I do not own these characters. Intended for fun, not profit.

Note: Written for Philomel. Ask and you shall receive. I hope it's just right.

Thanks: To maguinan for a great beta and the excellent title suggestion.

Feedback: I would appreciate your comments and constructive criticism.

First Mate

“Do I want to know how this happened?” Simon sighed, his brows knit.

“Probably not.” Zoe kept a hand on Wash’s shoulder as he stepped over the threshold to the infirmary.

“Hun dan,” Wash cursed, holding one arm to his belly. An oily slick of sweat stood out on his forehead and chest. Both he and Zoe were dressed lightly and her hair was piled on top of her head with an impossible conglomeration of clips and sticks.

“I actually do need to know,” Simon said.

“Calvinball,” Wash said tightly, grimacing. He hitched in several deep breaths and when Zoe laid a hand on his back he shrugged it off, then grimaced doubly at how the movement jostled.

“I just need to do a scan,” Simon said quietly, moving quickly to the wall of diagnostics behind the exam table.

Jayne peeked around the corner. “Cap’n wants to see Wash soon as he’s fixed up.” He practically whispered it, keeping the port frame in front of his body. Wash fairly growled but Zoe shooed him away with a stern look. Jayne stood for a few more seconds looking apologetic before hardening his features and barking, “Well, you shouldn’t go for leap shots you know you can’t make.” He stomped away and Simon caught Zoe rolling her eyes.

“Did you land on it?” Simon maneuvered Wash’s arm onto the bottom half of the imaging platter as gently as he could.

“No.” Wash’s voice was strained and dry. “He did. No reason to play like a fulan de gao wan.”

“You were playing fairly enthusiastically too, dear,” Zoe remarked.

“I was winning,” he hissed at her. “And whose side are you on?”

There was a pause in the conversation as Simon activated the imager and they all blinked against the flash of green light.

“That’s rea