Male and Female Imponderables- John Jacob Jinglehiemer Schmidt
POSTED BY: msg
UPDATED: Friday, September 8, 2006 15:22
VIEWED: 17017
PAGE 12 of 17
Morning again? What the hell happened to yesterday?
So I'm looking through my wallet this morning and found a small momento of the longtime gone ex. What was it? A fricken/ movie ticket to Dumb and Dumber! Yeah, it was that long ago.
Bit mixed up right now. Lookin' for coffee. Hope it's strong.
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Hello, all! Sending out wellness vibes.
Tristan and PaganPaul: Hugs and mush! You hold until your Soul Mate shows up.
Trogman: Women hold a grudge, no question! My ability to remember that awful thing he did, while he has no recollection at all, has been a source of friction in relationships.
There's actually a joke about gay marriage being easier because:
Man 1: Do you remember what happened the last time we went to dinner with them?
Man 2: No.
Man 1: Neither do I.
Man 2: O.k. then.
I don't even want to think about how long lesbian fights could last.
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Sorry y'all, I swear here, but it's to make the point. I promise it's not gratuitous.
I am not a "forgive and forget" type. If someone wants my forgiveness, they have to fucking work for it. Words only get you so far; once you overstep your bounds, you have to actually do something. Most people are not willing to change or work or make it up to me, so I've never forgiven those who I feel have betrayed me. Well, I've gotten to the point where I don't want them to die, but I don't want to talk to them.
My mom, on the other hand, always gave lots of chances and forgave very easily. That bit her in the ass a few times, and now she's a bit less free with it, though she's still more lenient and forgiving than I am. I wouldn't say it has anything to do with gender, or even genes, it seems.
Health is the greatest gift, contentment the greatest wealth, faithfulness the best relationship. - Gautama Siddharta
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Hey Rugbug - that sounds so painful! I injured my ankle a couple of years ago and the conflicting advice was coming thick and fast - it is confuzzling... I am so sorry it has gone on for so long! 
I am still sending vibes your way Emma - hope you feel up to visiting today so that you see how many of us care! We love you Darlin' take care and let us know how it's going - you know we're here to listen! 
Tristan - thank you again! I am loving the emails!! 
Hmmmm... ponderin' - I agree that there is no real gender issue according to my experience. Both male and female tend to react according to their personality - ability to live and learn. I personally feel that life is too short and emotions are too precious to hold a grudge for long... it takes up too much energy! But I have friends who are positively stil having nervous breakdowns over things that happened years ago... of both sexes.
EDIT: Hey GPR! Love the postal-overlap! WE do that often! I know what you mean about earning forgiveness - I just figure after a while I don't hold the actual anger - I really don't give in to hate either - it's not a productive emotion. Most of the time I get angry when others whom I love are attacked and that is why I have been cursing the 'ex of doom' lately! feel free to get it out of your system with me anytime!! 
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Morning, RugBug, MSG, NVG!
Rimgirl, thanks for the good vibes. Scary thought is that I thought this one was my soul mate... 
Guess we'll have to see what else the workd holds for me, eh?
PR, I'm the same way. I may forgive eventually, but I never forget.
Magdalena, no, thank you! Keeps me smilin'!
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I forgive for my own peace - not for the other person's, and often when not forgiving is more damaging and kind of 'redundant', but really I am pretty easy going and try not to let the negative emotions overwhelm me - not always successfuly... but in the end I 'let it go' - yeah - that's the way it is - not so much forgiveness but 'letting go'... I don't let them have the power to make me feel bad anymore - it has taken years in a couple of cases, months in others - but in the end - they don't have that power over me...
Uh Oh! - I sound like a 
guru!!
he he he he - Magdalena x x x
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I guess I forgive simply because I have the attention span of a gnat and am naturally sunny enough that I let very little get to me:)Plus it's just such a waste of energy. I mean if they did it by accident then you're cruel to hold it against them, and if they did it on purpose, then they aren' the sort of person you should waste a second's thought on. But again that's just me. I really think it's personality not gender that determine's grudge holding....though I will say my mother -in-law's a champion grudge holder...she can go years.
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2
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Quote:
Originally posted by magdalena:
I know what you mean about earning forgiveness - I just figure after a while I don't hold the actual anger - I really don't give in to hate either - it's not a productive emotion.
I know. I am not a good Buddhist I tend to be equally mad when I see others hurt; those that I care about. Maybe a bit moreso. It, of course, depends on the level of hurt. Some people I care about have had things happen that fill me with burning rage, and I can't say I've been hurt badly enough myself to feel it at that same level.
Hatred does not cease through hatred at any time. Hatred ceases through love. This is an unalterable law. - Gautama Siddharta
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Goodnight all my wonderful imponderers... have fun while I am sleeping!
I'll 'see you' tomorrow!
Love - MAgdalena x x x
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Well, see, I let it go (usually) but I don't forget. And if the person hurts me too many times, or too badly all at once, I no longer give them a place in my life. That's what I mean by holding a grudge. I can't just wipe the slate clean and see them as a fresh new person.
Tristan: I can't imagine being in your situation. I never want to be there. I'm reeling over what's going on with you...so what must you be going through. I know that's a bit odd to say, seeing as I only know you online, but I loved the way you talked of your relationship with your wife. You seemed very centered and aware, blah, blah, blah. And then this. Eek. Even PaganPaul's talk of his relationship and then his recent revelations has me spinning about.
MisterG and MSG: you guys better keep it together. 
I don't think I can take anymore seperation/divorce talk right now. 
(been some in my real life as well).
As for the shoulder: well, I really shouldn't complain. It is much better than it was...or than it could be. I'm just getting a little tired of it. I've been going to PT for almost 7 months, three times a week. That gets old. But, at least I can ride...and mostly without pain. Oddly, I can't reach for the remote control without pain, but I can jump my horse around a little course and be fine. I guess my shoulder is telling me to get my arse off the couch. 
***************
"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw
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