Chronic Pain Psychosis.
POSTED BY: FREMDFIRMA
UPDATED: Friday, June 7, 2013 09:09
VIEWED: 4381
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I've been busy elsewhere, and frankly haven't had much motivation to discuss anything with folks so bent on "side" they forget the difference between right and wrong, but imma bring this one in hopes of maybe getting people to think a bit, and maybe, just maybe, that someone, anyone else might read it...
And know that they are not alone.
Most of you know I suffer from chronic pain, end result of being seriously cyborged in order to even function, and coming as a result of deliberate medical neglect intended to cause my death, first as a mercy, and then later as retaliation for not having the decency to up and die when I was supposed to (note on that, the person primarily responsible was not only positively identified, but brought to justice this very year, FINALLY). and hence I spend more time than I would like in a wheelchair, and advancing age has exponentially multiplied the misery.
Well, I'm going to put you all in my shoes, just for a little while, so you understand just what it is like, and perhaps why a certain misanthropic hostility is justified.
Take a deep breath, clear your mind, and focus....
Not imagine that you've sustained an injury, a compound fracture, to be specific, just to be going on with, and it's brutal, and messy, and it hurts like glory hell.
You get to the doctor, and what does he tell you ?
He *can't* treat you, he doesn't dare, doing so could risk his license to practice, get the DEA all up in his shit, so too bad, so sad, suck it up, it doesn't really hurt THAT bad, you're just a whiner.
Obviously, you'd not be happy with this notion whatever, and now, on top of all this, you get told your very righteous anger at being fucked over and left to suffer is a psychological DISORDER, misplaced, unjustified, all in your head - yanno, like the pain from the VERY OBVIOUS PHYSICAL INJURY is as well.
Maybe you should go get some anger management, cause you've apprently no right to be pissed at being left to suffer and maybe die, oh no, it's all YOUR fault, maybe for being injured in the first place, maybe for not being tough enough to just suck it up, but by no means are you supposed to blame the folks who held back treatment and relief, of course not.
And so you turn to self-service medical care, even though much less effective, technically illegal, and certainly not the most pleasant experience in the world, but you know, all that pain is just an illusion, you're just a whiner, it doesn't REALLY hurt...
And as the days and years go by, and you lose more and more function and finally in desperation turn to the bottle, and all your friends and associates are afraid of you and avoid you due to your radical personality changes and bad temper - it has nothing to do with the bitter suffering that makes you wanna die, of course not, cause that doesn't REALLY exist, it's all in your head, maybe you need therapy, cause gawd forbid we give you so much as an iota of painkiller, oh noes, can't have that, the DEA would shit a brick, so just sit back down in your helpless little wheelchair unable to even vacuum your house without crawling on the floor like an animal.
Then comes the rage, the vile, bitter jealous HATRED of those more able than you, and their dismissive pity and automatic well-trained and TAUGHT assumption that you're just malingering, that really you should just suck it up, and the puritannical RELIGIOUS notion that suffering is good for you, even when it is a religion you not only do not subscribe to, but consider a vertiable fountain of evil, practiced in large part by folks so twisted that murder would be mercy.
And finally, when everyone fears your razor tongue and temper to the point where you have nothing left but an endless spiral of days when you can barely function in a crippling haze of pain and lonliness and all of society acts like it's all your fault, what is there to do but work towards the active destruction of that society and all within it, because you no
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So sorry Frem. It ain't much, but I feel for ya. All the frustration and rage and grief.
And yes, I never forget siobhan reynolds.
-----
Disobedience is not an issue if obedience is not the goal.
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...You lost your goddamn leg. What does it take for people to GET A CLUE?!
Maybe they just pretend it's magically still there!
Also ohthankgoodness it's Frem it turns out I'm terrible at representing anarchy.
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My nephew sustained a back injury in an industrial accident and is on 100% disability. Apparently, the biggest pain management concern of his doctors isn't to treat his pain, but to get him off 'addictive' pain meds like oxycontin. Since he's gonna be on pain meds the rest of his life, seems addiction is sort'a a moot point.
"When your heart breaks, you choose what to fill the cracks with. Love or hate. But hate won't ever heal. Only love can do that."
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Have you tried lithium? Or a hot-rod wheelchair?
http://www.amazon.com/s/ref=nb_sb_noss?url=search-alias%3Daps&fiel
d-keywords=lithium
Lithium orotate = natural mineral without a prescription used by President Ronald Reagan and increases the grey matter in the brain, chelates aluminum in brains of Alheimers patients, increases parathyroid hormone to improve energy. Lithium carbonate has the opposite effect.
http://www.longecity.org/forum/topic/9188-lithium-orotate-for-increase
d-intelligence/
http://tahomaclinicblog.com/lithium-the-misunderstood-mineral-part-1/
http://www.smartbodyz.com/Lithium-Orotate-Alzheimers-Disease-Aluminum-
Fibromyalgia-Pg2.htm
Lithium carbonate = toxic pharmaceutical prescribed by MDs and formerly in 7-UP cola.
Lithium chloride = mormerly sold OTC as a salt substitute
Lithium is prescribed for anxiety/panic disorders not just bi-polar manic depression.
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lithium
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lithium_(medication)
http://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Lithium_orotate
https://en.wikipedia.org/wiki/Anxiety_disorder
http://curezone.com/forums/am.asp?i=272650
http://www.newswithviews.com/Howenstine/james11.htm
http://www.crazymeds.us/CrazyTalk/index.php?/topic/17911-lithium-when-
anxiety-is-the-main-issue/
http://www.dailymail.co.uk/health/article-1390732/Adding-Lithium-drink
ing-water-lower-suicide-rates.html
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Good to see you back, Frem. I miss your rage.
And sorry to hear of your plight.
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Welcome back Frem..............there are no words, but you've got this dysfunctional family.............FFF
SGG
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Hey Frem. Missed you.
I had my time of chronic pain that I thought at the time would lead to loss of mobility. Which is basically my life. If I can't dance, I don't need to be alive.
It's a hollow empathy, because I was lucky enough to escape the gulf that loomed before me through actions of one very cool doctor and a patient advocate who bucked the system on my behalf. Still, because of what I went through I can't read your post without some grinding of teeth. I know a little about that kind of frustration. Frustration isn't a good enough word.
So sorry for what has happened to you. All I can hope is that it has made you a warrior for others in your place, and that you will (and have) helped people as others helped me.
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Sorry to hear of your troubles.
It ain't much to help, but we're family here, You may be our crazy angry Uncle Frem, but you are OUR crazy angry uncle. Closest I can offer to help is "Shared pain is divided, shared joy is multiplied." You're home, we'll close ranks around you. What can we do to help? Just ask.
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