Chronic Pain Psychosis.

POSTED BY: FREMDFIRMA
UPDATED: Friday, June 7, 2013 09:09
VIEWED: 4381
PAGE 2 of 2

PREV PAGE 1 2

FREMDFIRMA

Friday, June 7, 2013 3:07 AM

That's all very heartwarming, and I do appreciate it - mostly my ire is directed at the notion that anger is an inappropriate response to being hung out to dry like that, as many folks are in worse shape than me, yanno ?

Comes a time, being seriously tooth-grindingly pissed *IS* the correct response, it's not a "disorder" to be angry, to feel emotions - that's all just more of the puritan deny-your-humanity garbage which leads to so much evil, and is in my opinion the root cause of the lack of empathy which leads to medical personnel leaving folks in pain like that.

What really set me off was doing some research into the relationship between chronic pain and mental illness, and finding that most of the supposedly scholarly articles on it are of the blame-the-patient variety and dismiss the notion out of hand, or have the causality reversed.
HOW this crap got through any kind of actual peer-review I can't imagine, unless our medical care system is way more screwed up and most of our doctors are sociopaths.

-Frem

SIGNYM

Friday, June 7, 2013 4:59 AM

Oh Frem, I feel for you, I really do. And to be so ... dismissed, blamed, psycholigized... for a real problem. ARRGHH! All I can think of is that psychologists are acting with doctor-herd mentality, and are in a self-protective mode.

1KIKI

Friday, June 7, 2013 6:11 AM

Frem

I was wondering where you were. I was hoping you were merely busy.

In my own particular way I understand some of what you feel in terms of pain. FWIW what you call anger I call rage.

At this point the only thing I can think of that might be helpful to you isn't to suggest you need a new and better doctor, instead I think you need a good lawyer. Unfortunately I'm not in a position to provide one, or even suggest one.

Is there anyone you trust that you could hand those reins over to - at all?

FREMDFIRMA

Friday, June 7, 2013 9:09 AM

Well, what I was busy with... *sigh*... was convincing some folk to all but commit suicide for a cause that will likely be dismissed and ignored...
I fear for Glenn Greenwald - poor bastard's on the fast track to winding up like Gary Webb.

That and revisiting, refiling, and otherwise dealing with moving a mountain of 21 years of medical and legal paperwork, the endless litany of lies, chicanery, stonewalling - being forced to hold to the letter of the rules while the other side can ignore or even change them at a whim, and everyone pointing the finger at everyone else while I suffered, NOT good for mental stability to view down that double-decade hell all at once, and worth a valium or two if I had any.
Only positive note of it all is that collating it by hand showed me a pattern and positively identified one of the main stonewallers/sabotagers who seemed to have a problem with me from the get-go and has been rendered some just (and some un-just, cause I am NOTHING if not thorough) rewards for that bullshit.

As for being dismissed, psyched and blamed for a very real problem - this isn't the first go-round with that one!
See, there's this little something called Gerstmanns Syndrome, by virtue of the fact that the area around the Angular Gyruss in my head is prettymuch nothing but scar tissue, whether by virtue of birth defect or my fathers abuse is immaterial at this point.

Now, one dubious "benefit" to it is that I am ambidextrous, which is damn handy, especially now that I can no longer shoot left-handed cause of damage to the knuckles on that side... but the downside is a poor sense of direction and left-right disorientation - as a cab driver they used to call me "Wrongway" cause I needed a compass on a string to not get lost.

But the two primary, and most crucial characteristics are Dyscalculia and Dysgraphia, ESPECIALLY the latter - being Dyscalc is bad enough, lemme explain that in short form, it means the part of the brain which you use for "higher" math, stuff like Algebra, Trig, Calculus - the part of my brain which would perform those functions DOES NOT EXIST, or at least does not function, AT ALL.
The very *best* I can do is either a cut-and-paste bit of trickery, or in rare cases I can cook up a high speed linear math calculation to do the same thing, albeit less efficiently.

That was a small part of my reason for bailing out of high school two years early and going for a GED, I had other more important reasons, but being functionally UNABLE to pass an Algebra class (and honestly, when was the last time your average joe USED that stuff for real, hmm?) was definately one factor to me getting out of dodge before that one blew up in my face.

But the worst, the absofuckinlute worst, is Dysgraphia - lemme explain hell to you, here.
In order to even TRY to write by hand, I have to do a weird kind of cut-and-paste to the part of the brain you use for drawing pictures, and individually and laboriously "draw" each letter, working against already damaged or missing small motor nerves - this is burdensome at first and rather swiftly becomes painful, escalating into excruciating very quickly.

Not all of you might remember, but at one time "handwriting" was a grade school class, and NOT elective, and one can only imagine the misery, but oh it gets better - idiot teachers wanting you to copy copious notes, and docking your grade for crummy penmanship, and don't EVEN get me started on the outright motherfucking sadism of demanding a Dysgraph pen a thousand repetative lines as a disciplinary measure... Pritchard could go fuck himself, and I told him so, thus resulting in my expulsion from that school cause I flat would not under any circumstances or coercion whatsoever do it, over my dead body, literally, and I meant every damn word.

And then being docked on every assignment once I had busted my ass to the point of exhaustion and beyond to be able to afford a dot matrix printer for my Tandy CoCo III (modified) and found that I cou

PREV PAGE 1 2