The Talk.
POSTED BY: Wulfenstar
UPDATED: Friday, April 13, 2012 00:04
VIEWED: 8856
PAGE 8 of 12
I don't support personal attacks on anyone on the net. There are some people who think that it is their right to go on the personal attack with people whose views they abhor. They have no personal rules when it comes to fighting. They feel enabled and justified in saying whatever they feel like at the time in the heat of anger. "I wish you and your family would die a slow horrible death" etc. I wonder if they are like that in real life? It seems kind of childish to me, like they haven't gotten out of a 4 year old mindset.
Most of us have said mean things in the heat of an argument online. I know I have. Its hard to apologise straight away as well until you calm down.
Kane was a whole other ballgame. He wasn't saying things in the heat of the argument, he just said whatever foul, viscious thing that came into his head.
I think when you do get attacked online, its hard when others do not support you, or support the other person. It's a crappy feeling that fellow posters don't seem to mind that someone calls you a whore, a cunt or wishes you would die soon. I understand how niki feels, although she probably chose the word 'championed' unwisely.
Anyway, seems to have been some bad blood that needed airing. Hope all is back to normal RL lunacy soon.
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Well, I'd hug y'all but I think Byte might stab me, lol 
(it's a villain thing...)
As for misliking people - I guess I should outright flat admit I'm just winding Wulfie up cause I can, cause it amuses me to do so, cause it's the only way I can return to him what he dishes out to others...
But hate him ?
Feh, in order to hate him, I'd have to give a fuck ABOUT him, and... I don't.
-Frem
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Quote:
It's a crappy feeling that fellow posters don't seem to mind that someone calls you a whore, a cunt or wishes you would die soon. I understand how niki feels, although she probably chose the word 'championed' unwisely.
What? Just because I don't/try not to take sides doesn't mean I ignore when someone says something truly awful. I was there for Niki when kaneman was around and there was a whole kaneman AURaptor whozits team up, and when Pirate News said some pretty bad things too. I haven't ever said that Wulf telling Niki he's glad that she's going to die soon was acceptable.
Dammit. I had some small hope last night, but it was false. I'm beyond redemption and this still isn't working.
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Quote:
Originally posted by BYTEMITE:Quote:
It's a crappy feeling that fellow posters don't seem to mind that someone calls you a whore, a cunt or wishes you would die soon. I understand how niki feels, although she probably chose the word 'championed' unwisely.
What? Just because I don't take sides doesn't mean I ignore when someone says something truly awful. I was there for Niki when kaneman was around and there was a whole kaneman AURaptor whozits team up, and when Pirate News said some pretty bad things too. I haven't ever said that Wulf telling Niki he's glad that she's going to die soon was acceptable.
Dammit. I had some small hope last night, but it was false. I'm beyond redemption and this still isn't working.
Byte, it wasn't false hope, and don't let it go. I think you and Niki have it worked out and have reached an understanding; don't let others cloud that.
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Anthony, it truly grieves me that you feel the way you described. I refuse to believe Kane or anyone else could be capable of doing that to you. Yes, it's sad when we come across people like that, but this is the INTERNET; I don't consider anything that happens there serious enough to touch me IRL. Bad feelings aren't good for us, you got that damned right, and some people really WORK at creating bad feelings. That's where armor comes in...like you said, reminding yourself not to get caught in the trap of responding, but more than that, to me at least. I just discount them as best I can; they're not REAL and they can't affect me. When I walk away from the computer, I only carry the funny or good things with me...I dismiss the rest. When I have problems with people in real life, I'd think about them, talk them ovr with someone if I can, and try to work them out. Admittedly I've never had anything IRL happen to me like lots of what I've had on the internet--I guess in real life I'd just walk away from such a person and avoid them. Yeah, I would; there's a woman at Crissy field, a dog walker, who's been very rude to me. Jim and I just take a wide berth around her, end of story.
But armor is vital to survive here. I came from another website that was kind of Kane squared, PLUS they went after me personally on a site I run for people battling mental illness, cooked up a whole plot against me, and that's when I left. I tried to show what they were doing, but here's where what Magons said comes into play; other people didn't believe me and took their side, some I really liked. That actually DID hurt a bit, I'll admit. Time to just leave, and I did. This place, trust me, is NOTHING in comparison!
I've been attacked personally on a couple of mental health websites--and one was by a person I'd met in real life, who I'd invited up here and we'd done a lot together. It was his mental illness, and in that case I DID feel like a fool; I'd given him money, done things for him, and thought we were friends. But I know he did it out of his own problems, so I just cut ties and wished him well. HIS life didn't come out very well, as I heard from others who knew him. I took no pleasure in it. And I'm still glad I befriended him at the time, he was a pretty lost soul.
Woooaaa Byte, slow down. It appears to me that Magons' comment was to sympathize with ME, not go after YOU. She merely said she knows how I feel--or possibly she meant she knows how I FELT when you went after me then Mike agreed. We worked it all out, and I don't think Magons meant any harm or was attacking you in any way. Just sympathizing with a feeling.
Riona, no, the "threat" I spoke of wasn't the one you mentioned. You said something to someone who snarked at Wulf that you weren't going to put up with that kind of stuff, and you'd go after them if you saw more of it. I wish Mike would look up the specific thread so we could talk about it, but maybe, all things considered, it's best he doesn't. This doesn't need to go any further; we've made peace. Hopefully you remember the instance and understand what I meant by "threat". It's no biggie.
As far as I'm concerned, if you choose to be on the internet, I learned long ago that you'd better grow a thick skin and not take it personally. It's too dangeroud, and I hope don't offend by saying that I worry about Byte because she does let people hurt her, even when they don't intend to sometimes. It concerns me, and I think one or two others as well, as we don't want to see her hurt. She chooses to be here, so nobody can take responsibility to keep her safe, but in our ways, we do try.
Anthony, I've told this story before, but I'll tell it again. My big (gigantic!) spark of understanding came at the dog park long ago. My dogs were off leash, as
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Quote:
Originally posted by Niki2:
This time I was given the gift of being able to SEE that it had nothing to do with me, she was upset about her daughter, probably felt guilty about leaving her to control the dog, and it was just reaction to blame me. Since that time, I try to see why stuff is coming from other people and see whether it's really about me or just about them. Most of the time it's the latter.
So very true Niki, I totally agree with that - that's a thing that's easy to miss. People lash out when they're hurt or feel marginalized and it's not always logical. I think Wulf is actually looking for approval in his own bassackwards clumsy way. He's trying to impress his hero (shall remain un-named) with his insights. If we believe him he was roughed up a lot as a kid, and it sounds like when he went home his parents almost had more feelings toward his attackers (pity, etc) than they did toward him - that would mess up a young mind. "Why do you seem to care more about them than me??" This is probably terribly obvious, but there seems to be a lot of transference going on between his parents and you.
Scifi movie music + Firefly dialogue clips, 24 hours a day - http://www.scifiradio.com
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EW, what a terrible thought! Makes some sense, tho', given I'm an aging hippie. Pretty hard to put up with, given I'm not them and, from what I've heard, not even slightly LIKE them, but I see what you mean. Yuck. Doesn't mean I'll like him any more for going after me, and especially for attributing what he experienced to ALL "hippies" and "liberals", or that I'll take it with equanimity, but yeah, I never looked at it that way before, and you're probably right. I have to say again: YUCK!
there seems to be a lot of transference going on between his parents and you. 
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With Wulf I honestly don't know, I think we could make it work though, because I see some good in him and I can tell he wants to be nice, he just doesn't seem to know how to.
I think he has issues, and I think his talent for alientating folk is near miraculous, but I don't see him as a bad person. It's hard for me to see anyone who likes firefly as a bad person.
It's not personal. It's just war.
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Well, this is something else.
I remember saying to bring the snacks, because I KNEW, not guessed, that it would get interesting.
Niki insulted me. Not something new, or strange. Her peanut gallery jumped on board.
Then it turned to insulting my child-rearing skills. Something not unexpected. I, somewhat humbly, have asked for advice on that subject, knowing that I don't know everything. (See Trouble thread).
And, as to be expected (or should have been), it became that my unborn daughter was condemned.
This, I will not abide. This, I will not suffer. Not that Frem would get it, but tantamount to being born "evil".
You are free to say what you will about me, my views... but, there are lines that you will not cross.
Namely, my daughter.
I could pretend that I feel bad for (verbally) punching Niki in the face over her comments. But that wouldn't be true. Because I don't feel bad, or guilty for it. She had it coming.
Yet, I will say, she is not the only one that earned it. Shes just the banner-carrier, for a legion of clowns.
Their beliefs, their actions, their ideologies have created the country and world we now live with. The world that my daughter is going to grow up in.
I have no patience for it anymore, no desire to waste the time trying to correct them of their beliefs. I can't, not anymore. Maybe I can't fix everything they've done, but I sure as hell can teach my daughter how to live in this world they created. Maybe even work to changing it for the better.
Think on these things I've said as you:
-pay your taxes
-walk in dangerous areas
-pay your bills
-watch, listen, to any media
-read the news
-take your kids to school
Is THIS the kind of world that you want for yourself, and for yours? The policies and the subjugation that has been foisted on your over the years... is this what you want? Where is the line you draw? Does it keep getting moved back? When do you actually stand your ground and say "NO MORE. This far, no further."?
Each individual has to find that line for themself. But for a lot of us, the line has been drawn, and we won't be moved.
Its time we stopped lying, and start telling the truth.
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Awww, lookit how cute he is when he thinks he knows the TRUTH about the world. Mix that with this "I will not stand" internet tough-guy talk, and you have a recipe for delusion.
"Goram it kid, let's frak this thing and go home! Engage!"
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