Trouble

The idea here is that there are things I believe she needs to know. And there are things I believe she should learn, but don't know them myself.

Little history lesson: My parents believed in reading. Like, reading everything. I grew up reading everything I could get my hands on, from Dostoyevsky to Stephen King.

It was just a thing I was pushed hard on. Then there was music, and later... movies.

However, my parents were also drunk, intellectual, liberal, hippies.

And it was in this inebriated, arrogant, "wisdom" that they thought it a great idea to dump us in a cheap neighborhood. After all, cheap housing, and we could "all get along".

lol.

The first beating I took, I was told to "turn the other cheek". The next? "Tell an adult". The third? "Run away". The fourth? I just started cleaning up before I went home.

My parents died young, based mostly on their lifestyle. Too much drinking, too much smoking.

When it progressed from beatings, to stabbing, to shooting, I guess I got cold and tired.

So my question is, I understand that there is an experience larger than my own, a world bigger than I have seen. I have trouble operating in it.

But I don't want that for my daughter. I want her to have the benefits of my experience, but to function in a world where the skills I will teach her are unnecessary. And where she will need a different set of skills to thrive.

So what are they?

Also, as I've learned the hard way, hippie bullshit doesn't work.

So leave the "talk it out", "report it", "everyone is the same" garbage out.

How do you teach a girl to defend herself, but to also live among people who are the bourgeois?

In effect, to be prom queen in some school, but still be able to beat anyones ass? While also being a kind person?

"Hope is a good thing, maybe the best of things, and no good thing ever dies"

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Hello,

You've been told many valuable things by people here.

You are not interested.

You see only the evils you have known. You hear only the echoes of old voices.

Your request for help is either not genuine, or you are so broken inside that you can not hear the answers.

You sadly speak of things like martial defense and politeness and open-mindedness as though they are some alien oil and water mixture that you need mysterious alchemical skills to combine.

You speak as though treating people as equals and defending yourself against aggression are two opposing philosophies.

You speak of the 'bourgeois' and the 'liberal' and the 'hippie' and you sound to me like a child still railing against your parents.

It's time to grow up and become a whole person. It's time to stop defining yourself by the resentment you feel for your parents.

It's time to be a better you.

That's the secret to raising good children. Because they will watch you while becoming who they are.

--Anthony

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Note to self: Mr. Raptor believes that women who want to control their reproductive processes are sluts.

Reference thread: http://fireflyfans.net/mthread.asp?b=18&t=51196

Never forget what this man is. You keep forgiving him his trespasses and speak to him as though he is a reasonable human being. You keep forgetting the things he's advocated. If you respond to this man again, you are being foolish.

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First of all Wulfie-child, your child will be herself, not some kind of blend between you and your wife, and you have no way of knowing WHAT kind of child she will be. If our daughter had been born according to her parents, she would be pretty damn smart. Instead, she is brain-damaged. Even my identical twin and I are very different in temperament and skill. What will you do if she's born shy, sensitive, and quiet? What will you do if she's oppositional as all get-out, and refuses any sort of instruction at all? What will you do if she is clumsy, and slow? Be prepared to deal with the child WHO IS BORN, not the child you want to hone into some kind of weapon to carry YOUR life-grudge forward.

As to that... our dad saw more horror in five years of Siberian labor camp than you saw in a lifetime. But he didn't burden us with HIS burdens. In fact, when us girls were little we would stick our fingers in his back like gun, and he would throw up his hands and say "Don't shoot, General!" And laugh. But the fact was that he survived the Katyn Forest massacre, and probably said that... for real... more than once. He TOLD us about his life, but he didn't make us live it.

And what he told us, when we were young, was... I want you to get a good education, something that you can get a job in, so you don't have to be dependent on any man. This, from a guy who was born in 1920. So it IS possible to overcome the horror-show that was your life, and all of your training, and the culture you came from, and give your child something BETTER.

Also, I second was Magons said: Your daughter will need to learn to connect with people. Perhaps you can learn that as well.

Unless you do, I feel very, very sorry for her. She will be living in your limited world.

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Quote:

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Originally posted by Wulfenstar:
Unfortunately Anthony,

This world is not a nice place. Its full of evil people... ugly, horrible, lying, people.

She needs to be able to defend herself, first.

---

I pity you, Wulfie. You must live in hell, having never known a decent person or a good day.

Are their evil, ugly, lying people in the world? Yup, there sure are. But if that's all you can see, then you live in a far different world than the one I know.

I've lived in "the 'hood"; I've lived "the life". Even then, bad things and bad people weren't my everyday experience, but something that happened rarely and made quite an impression when they did happen.

Do you judge your whole life and the whole world based on the very few worst experiences you've had?

And would you criticize a black person for having that attitude when it came to the police, judging cops (or white people) by their past experiences with them? Can you blame anyone whose every interaction with authority has been a negative experience, if they tend to be suspicious of said authorities?

Paranoia and suspicion seem to be your default positions; you really should make an effort to see the better angels in people. I tend to be trusting until give a reason not to trust. Maybe you should try it. You might get burned, but I bet you'll gain far more than you'll lose.

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Wulfie has PTSD, imposed on his childhood. It's a hard thing to overcome, and he needs help with that. He won't get it, of course, because HE feels that HE's the one who sees the world "as it really is", and that everyone else is living in some kind of "fantasy world". Really, I feel very sorry for his child.

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