Impressed, or Appalled ?
POSTED BY: Fremdfirma
UPDATED: Friday, August 12, 2011 00:03
VIEWED: 3586
PAGE 3 of 3
I didn't exactly read the article.
What? I'm lazy.
And I did say it was still creepy, just didn't think of the pornography thing.
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I'm glad to hear that Frem. Wendy is like your daughter and if you did anything with her I'd strongly dislike you and we couldn't be friends anymore. I think she probably idolizes you and maybe she thinks that since she loves you very much that things should ... evolve, her not having a lot of experience with various kinds of love etc. I think with time she'll come to understand that there are indeed different kinds of love out there and that she and you are best off having familial love for each other instead of the other.
"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya
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This is, sadly, a common theme with those who have been abused or never shown affection or approval in a manner other than sexual - it gives these girls a damned twisted view of love, you see ?
This is one thing that rooks me pretty bad about the fear and hysteria whipped up by either well meaning idiots freaking out about the scale of the problem, or bastards with an agenda doing so as a route to power, they make fathers fear to have *any* contact or interaction with their daughters lest it be misinterpreted, this is one thing I am annoyed with about Kiras family since her parents are seperated and there's a stupid little dispute about her parentage which NEITHER of them really WANT resolved cause the answer might shatter their illusions.
(She believes Kira is his, He doesn't, and neither one will approve, or let the other approve, a paternity test)
But also is that factor, in that he completely ignores her, for the most part, which is one of the things which lead to that separation.
Now, issue with that kinda thing, is that fathers have a role to play, it is likely the childs first encounter with affection and approval in a manner and fashion that is decidedly non-sexual, the chance for them to learn that those are SEPERATE THINGS, and all too many parents blow it, out of ignorance or fear - what kind of a world is ours when a father is afraid to hug his own child, lest he be accused of something ?
And bastards like the sumbitch the original article is about make it all the worse, cause they operate within the "Circle of Trust", which is frankly where most abuse comes from - the whole stranger-danger thing is by comparison almost unworthy of notice, but of course most folk prefer a comforting fallacy to ugly realities, and sadly tend to make laws based on the fallacy, which is somewhat ridiculous in that this isn't a problem government is equipped or effectively able to handle, it's societys problem, but not so easy to solve when folks fear getting involved, fear (quite rightfully) being smeared, harrassed or even worse just for addressing it or bringing it to peoples attention, or stumbling over one of our zillion petty laws even those who write em can't keep track of - and without that involvement, it's right damn hard to break the cycle as victims in their turn become abusers, which also forments the cycle of fear that our nation is so steeped in that it affects every action and reaction.
Quote:
“As long as the child will be trained not by love, but by fear, so long will humanity live not by justice, but by force. As long as the child will be ruled by the educator’s threat and by the father’s rod, so long will mankind be dominated by the policeman’s club, by fear of jail, and by panic of invasion by armies and navies.”
Boris Sidis, from “A lecture on the abuse of the fear instinct in early education” in Journal of Abnormal Psychology, 1919.
But then that fear is also how Circle of Trust abusers get their hooks in, too - fear of what'll happen if they reject the wishes of an "authority", and so on and so forth - till our culture of fear is so toxic it starts degrading the very humanity of the people suffering under the burden.
Most of Wendy's issues come from spending so much of her life in a moral vaccuum, she often doesn't see where or why something is right or wrong, and sometimes her questions about why something is, or isn't immoral bear thinking upon, but not in this case cause of the issues I've already addressed - there's also a certain sense of entitlement goin on there, in that the world has pretty badly treated her, and thus when SHE *wants* something, she has a tendancy to feel it's owed to her, and the world just don't work that way, besides which there's also aside from everything and anything else the fact that *I* said no, that MY will in opposition to the idea, and if there's one thing any anarchist respects, it's the free will of others.
Don't mean she's all that happy about it though.
Anyhows, when a young girl is never shown approval and affection in any other
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Well I think being consistant with her is the right thing to do. Maybe she'll find a young man her age that she fancies that would be suited to her. I don't consider her touched from what you've described, so if I were her friend or looking out for her I'd be fine with her going out with whom she chooses without worrying about consent issues etc. Now when it comes to touched folk I'm a lot more picky because I'm very overprotective and don't like the idea of unequal or nonmutual consent, did I mention that I'm realllly overprotective about that? Yes I said it twice on purpose.
I think its important that you don't chicken out when she tries to pull that on you, because if you do chicken out it says that you aren't going to stick around and help her along through this. I totally agree with you about fathers by the way, they shouldn't fear being close with their kids. My dad and I are very close, we always have been, I'm so fortunate to have him in my life, I don't know anyone who is as close with their dad as I am.
Its important for girls especially to have good solid father figures in their lives because they tend to think men ought to behave somewhat like their male role models, meaning that if they have good male role models they tend to choose better men for partners later on, whereas if they have crappy fathers or male role models they don't have as much of an idea subconsciously of what is good to look for in men later. The fact that Kira's father has distanced himself from her isn't a good thing, she may start seeking attention in other ways from other men and boys and it won't be the type of attention she's currently missing out on, it will be other types of attention if you know what I mean. How did track go for her in the spring by the way? As a side note I don't understand why his bio status would make a difference to him when it comes to his relationship with Kira, if he's angry at anyone he should be angry at Kira's mom for rutting with others, but he shouldn't ever take that out on Kira, he raised her so she is his daughter, no matter what the tests say, don't you think?
"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya
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Oh I agree, I never saw why the actual biological parentage is so damn important to people, it doesn't make a lotta sense to me that just cause someone was the source of sperm or egg that there's some magical-mystical bond there, especially if they've been uninvolved in actually raising the child - but then my viewpoint might be skewed some cause I have effectively "raised" to some degree a lot of abandoned or rejected kids too.
As for Kiras parents there's plenty of blame to go round, if one wanted to, and the only reason it's any kind of issue is that they subscribe at least in part to that ridiculous puritan morality I find so offensive - imma poly, so with me it's all about trust rather than fidelity, but they got issues there too, although I haven't poked my nose into it cause factually it's none of my damn business, nor do I want it to be.
Funny though, one doesn't tell Kira something you don't want shouted from the mountains, and apparently her mom did at one point ask her how she'd feel about me as potential-daddy and she was like "Blecch, he's too OLD!", *laughing*
Anyhows, I mislike the notion myself cause nobody freakin asked me and I dun wanna get all involved in their family drama, times past I woulda worried also about dragging them into my conflicts but that's not so much an issue any more.
I don't worry about Kira too much, she's at that age where they first discover boys, there's one she thinks is all dreamy in her school and far as she's concerned the rest all have cooties, lol.
Her ventures into track are going well, a lil too well, cause even now they have to give the others a head start to even make it fair - she struggles in the longer runs cause of throwing all her effort up front and failing to pace herself, but she's happy, sooo....
To her mind my role is something like Doc Brown from Back to the Future, the crack-brained mad scientist who lives down the way, and go-to-guy for all those questions no one else seems able or willing to answer - currently one of her interests is in learning to draw Manga, but she's kind of at the stick figure stage of that right now.
What concerns me, although I wouldn't say so to any of em, is how our world and fate seems to work, it's always these types of people, with so much potential and good hearts, that always seem to fall to misadventure early, almost as if some external force is deliberately culling out those who would serve as inspiration to allow us to rise above the misery and horror of this world - my nephews girlfriend was a lot like this, and I had high hopes for them and then one day at the bus stop, WHAM, killed instantly by a car that drifted out of it's lane...
I don't really have the words for it, but stuff like that is one reason I am Maltheistic, cause if the powers that run this universe so enjoy crushing those who embody the best hopes of humanity before they can even get off the ground, what monsters must they be ?
So that, more than anything else, is what I fear for her - emotionally she's pretty well-adjusted, far as I can tell.
-Frem
I do not serve the Blind God.
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Well maybe Kira's crush will like her too and they can go out on a date. I love Doc Brown, one of my all time favorite movie charactors. Maybe Kira could focus on short distance running, 100 yard dash and so forth.
A story of Genghis that relates: Temujin (as the great Khan was known before he ascended to power) had a beautiful wife called Borte to whom he'd been betrothed most of the way through his boyhood. They had not been long wed when she was kidnapped by the Merkets, a rival tribe. He and his best friend/blood brother Jamuqa planned and carried out a raid to rescue her and bring her home which was successful. About nine months later Borte had a baby son that they named Jochi, it was Temujin's son and he loved him very very much, being their first born and all. Temujin never once cared whether Jochi was biologically his, Borte was indeed raped by the Merkets and so biologically Jochi may or may have sprung from Temujin's loins, but that was irrelevent to Temujin because Jochi was his son in every sense of the word that mattered.
"A completely coherant River means writers don't deliver" KatTaya
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Quote:
What concerns me, although I wouldn't say so to any of em, is how our world and fate seems to work, it's always these types of people, with so much potential and good hearts, that always seem to fall to misadventure early, almost as if some external force is deliberately culling out those who would serve as inspiration to allow us to rise above the misery and horror of this world - my nephews girlfriend was a lot like this, and I had high hopes for them and then one day at the bus stop, WHAM, killed instantly by a car that drifted out of it's lane...
Reminds me of Rachel Beckwith. Just heartbreaking, but inspiring at the same time, in its own way. :(
"Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservatives." - John Stuart Mill
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