Prepare for the Zombies!
POSTED BY: whozit
UPDATED: Friday, May 20, 2011 05:12
VIEWED: 6886
PAGE 1 of 2
They're coming! 
http://www.foxnews.com/health/2011/05/18/cdc-warns-public-prepare-zomb
ie-apocalypse/
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Quote:
The post, written by Assistant Surgeon General Ali Khan, instructs readers how to prepare for "flesh-eating zombies" much like how they appeared in Hollywood hits like "Night of the Living Dead" and video games like Resident Evil. Perhaps surprisingly, the same steps you'd take in preparation for an onslaught of ravenous monsters are similar to those suggested in advance of a hurricane or pandemic.
"First of all, you should have an emergency kit in your house," the posting continues. "This includes things like water, food, and other supplies to get you through the first couple of days before you can locate a zombie-free refugee camp (or in the event of a natural disaster, it will buy you some time until you are able to make your way to an evacuation shelter or utility lines are restored)."
Other items to be stashed in such a kit include medications, duct tape, a battery-powered radio, clothes, copies of important documents and first aid supplies.
"Once you've made your emergency kit, you should sit down with your family and come up with an emergency plan," the posting continues. "This includes where you would go and who you would call if zombies started appearing outside your doorstep. You can also implement this plan if there is a flood, earthquake or other emergency."
He forgot the most important item...
And remember to aim for the head.
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Your best weapon for a zombie apocalypse is a machete. It never runs out of ammo, never needs to be reloaded, never needs to be cleaned. It just works. Machete: Ask for it by name!
ETA: Although a nicely modified Saiga12 tactical shotgun can come in quite handy!
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Don't forget the rules. Especially the double tap.
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This is just one of those zen moments to be cherished.
I say high explosives. And doors. They have real problems with doors. Whoever falls behind gets left behind. I know, you want to save them from becoming a zombie, but they're just going to become a zombie in your camp and kill three of your friends.
That's what a ship is, you know - it's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs.
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Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
Your best weapon for a zombie apocalypse is a machete. It never runs out of ammo, never needs to be reloaded, never needs to be cleaned. It just works. Machete: Ask for it by name!
For quiet weaponry I actually like the crowbar. Plenty of mass to bust a skull and hundreds of utility uses.
Or one of these:
Dead On tools Annihilator. Hammer, pry bar and spike point all in one. The gap can be used to pry boards or reluctant door handles. The prying flat opposite the hammer head can be used to send a zombie on to its final reward or salvage nails to reinforce a barricade. Hundreds of post-apocalyptic uses!
The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.
...and he that has no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. Luke 22:36
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That's a badass hammer.
That's what a ship is, you know - it's not just a keel and a hull and a deck and sails, that's what a ship needs.
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Quote:Can it open beer bottles? During the apocalypse I plan to get totally ripped!
Originally posted by Hardware:Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
Your best weapon for a zombie apocalypse is a machete. It never runs out of ammo, never needs to be reloaded, never needs to be cleaned. It just works. Machete: Ask for it by name!
For quiet weaponry I actually like the crowbar. Plenty of mass to bust a skull and hundreds of utility uses.
Or one of these:
Dead On tools Annihilator. Hammer, pry bar and spike point all in one. The gap can be used to pry boards or reluctant door handles. The prying flat opposite the hammer head can be used to send a zombie on to its final reward or salvage nails to reinforce a barricade. Hundreds of post-apocalyptic uses!
The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.
...and he that has no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. Luke 22:36
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Quote:
Originally posted by Hardware:Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
Your best weapon for a zombie apocalypse is a machete. It never runs out of ammo, never needs to be reloaded, never needs to be cleaned. It just works. Machete: Ask for it by name!
For quiet weaponry I actually like the crowbar. Plenty of mass to bust a skull and hundreds of utility uses.
Or one of these:
Dead On tools Annihilator. Hammer, pry bar and spike point all in one. The gap can be used to pry boards or reluctant door handles. The prying flat opposite the hammer head can be used to send a zombie on to its final reward or salvage nails to reinforce a barricade. Hundreds of post-apocalyptic uses!
The more I get to know people the more I like my dogs.
...and he that has no sword, let him sell his garment, and buy one. Luke 22:36
Nice. That's going in my SHTF bugout bag! Hope I can get one delivered before Saturday's rapture! :D
"Although it is not true that all conservatives are stupid people, it is true that most stupid people are conservatives." - John Stuart Mill
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