MB's hermitage: trespassers snuggled

POSTED BY: mincingbeast
UPDATED: Thursday, October 12, 2017 06:30
VIEWED: 42324
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MINCINGBEAST

Monday, April 12, 2010 7:47 PM

it is raining today in troll country; verily, the very clouds weep at my reign, and my puns, which if you must point out, suck, but that is the point.

this rain is not a cleansing rain; it is full of acid, industrial waste, and fail. it does not rinse the filth of troll country, but rather moistens the urine, debris, and PCP that I spilled everywhere. it all mixes together into a noxious stew that only a troll could love.

in honor of the foul weather, i am drafting laws. "the law of the hot potato": he who hath the VD, and spreadeth the VD, no longer hath the VD. by my proclamation, this law shall be written in blood, and clap drippings, in the sky.

MINCINGBEAST

Monday, April 12, 2010 8:55 PM

i hereby declare the national dish of troll country baked beans eaten cold out of a tin can. actually, that is the national desert. the national dish is canibalzied troll.

the traditional dress of troll country is hobo-couture.

the geography of troll country is very flat. there is not a single square inch of troll country that is not either under a bridge, or next to rail road tracks.

i hereby declare a tax upon troll country: boogers.

i am the only resident of troll country.

i eat my boogers in silence, because taxes are the price we pay for anti-civilization.

MINCINGBEAST

Thursday, April 15, 2010 10:58 PM

To pwn, or not to pwn, that is the question? Whether 'tis nobler to...ah hell, to pwn!
self-pwned.

MINCINGBEAST

Friday, April 16, 2010 8:57 PM

the plague has struck troll country! the bowels of trolls everywhere are loose. there is only here, however, and only me.

i am not one to let a good plague go to waste.

i drank a gallon of vinegar, and stuffed myself full of pickled pig's feet and rotting vegetables. i sock myself in the gut, repeatedly, giggling, preparing for what? i cannot say.

CHRISISALL

Friday, April 16, 2010 9:21 PM

Strang and terrible beast, you have found your home.

The laughing Chrisisall

MINCINGBEAST

Thursday, April 22, 2010 8:58 PM

I am not only the tyrant, and sole resident of troll country. I am troll country and I carry troll country with me. For example, Montgomery, Alabama, was until very recently not troll country. Now, the land is stained with piss and littered with broken glass, and plumes of PCP smoke trail to the heavens like writhing middle-fingers. Soon, Montgomery will be reduced to its former status of ordinary Southern shithole, and troll country will be elsewhere.

I leave a trail of fail in my wake.

MINCINGBEAST

Monday, April 26, 2010 2:08 PM

i will myself out of existence; excise myself with focused loathing. i'm not here anymore.

MINCINGBEAST

Tuesday, April 27, 2010 6:58 PM

egads, i'm still here, and by "egads" I do not mean "ye gods", but rather, "shit."

i suppose there is nothing to do but pass the time before i die with senseless violence and desperate celebration.

(drinks anti-freeze martini)

MINCINGBEAST

Thursday, April 29, 2010 4:20 PM

i hate the universe even more than normal today, and resolve to spend the day trying to douse the sun's flames with piss.

MINCINGBEAST

Thursday, April 29, 2010 6:26 PM

i cannot reach. alas.

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