Imponderables: Ridin' For A Fall
POSTED BY: nvghostrider
UPDATED: Thursday, October 1, 2009 02:30
VIEWED: 9481
PAGE 4 of 10
><;;; well, not much of a choice then. good luck in the new job ^_^ when are you moving to it?
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Zeek: Best of luck in the move. Y'know, you always hate to see a good person go, but at the same time you want someone to make a move that's right for them. Any decent person should not begrudge you making a move that's right for you.
FLT: It wasn't really "decipher" the female mind, it was just a lot of insights into how we communicate. (I recall Deborah Tannen having some good books on the subject. There are lots out there.)
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Quote:
Originally posted by freelancertex:
><;;; well, not much of a choice then. good luck in the new job ^_^ when are you moving to it?
Middle of November. So, there's still plenty of time for them to pick my brain. It would be great if they found a replacement before the move. Then I could train them while I'm still 100% focused on this job.
Thanks for the well wishes SF.
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Sweet. ^_^
Solar: well at least you gained *some* insight :P
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Quote:
Originally posted by solarflare:
Semi humorous anecdote. Feel free to laugh at me on this one:
The first week after my wife and I were married, she told me one day that the garbage was full. Mentally, I agreed.
Several hours later, she repeated the observation that the garbage was full. At which point, I mentally made a note that she was still correct.
A little while later, she was angry with me, and I had no idea why...
Of course, she was certain that she had asked me to take out the garbage. I simply never heard the request.
We were in grad school at the time, and the next semester I took a course in linguistics. It saved my marriage.
The great thing about learning communication nuances is the empowerment of being able to teach people how to communicate. I teach classes on communication and the personal "teaching interactions" seemed to be more effective than actually teaching people. Influencing the way people communicate works better because they don't second guess how they are communicating, they understand that other people have something to say, they listen to other people rather than just hearing them, and they think about what they say before they say it.
All this "Female Communication" mentality is bullshit. To abide by such nonsense is disrespectful to all people. Respect is measured on a balance, not a sliding scale. I am not a subject of anyones rule and will not be treated so. And I am no more important than any other person so talking up to me is equally disrespectful. I hope more people can gain this mentality as I like talking with people; not at, to, or down to.
After looking over relationships with females I can honestly say there is a lack of assertive mentality for both sexes. I'm not sure what is worse: women who treat the world like they are princesses/rulers of all beholding to none. or people who perpetuate those attitudes and never let them know they are wrong to act like that. I know men who are no better, but with our simple minds/bodies we are easily manipulated because, well, some of us are just stupid.
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The country is making a big mistake not teaching kids to cook and raise a garden and build fires.
-Loretta Lynn
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Quote:
Originally posted by nvghostrider:
All this "Female Communication" mentality is bullshit. To abide by such nonsense is disrespectful to all people. Respect is measured on a balance, not a sliding scale. I am not a subject of anyones rule and will not be treated so. And I am no more important than any other person so talking up to me is equally disrespectful. I hope more people can gain this mentality as I like talking with people; not at, to, or down to.
Well, uh, I'm terribly sorry I shared my story with you then.
Of course, it is disrespectful to anyone to say that because you are an "X" you are behaving (or communicating) as an "X." But for you to say that the study of linguistic tendencies is invalid is absurd.
I have always thought that understanding the tendencies of a particular group is a good way to show respect towards that group. Each individual, however, should be communicated with (and respected) as an individual.
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Hey guys,
Quick hello and goodbye. Thought I’d swing by and see what was up, got distracted by the fucking idiotic “Underworld vs. Twilight” thread, and, sorry, that’s it, I’m hanging up my browncoat for good. I can’t fucking stand the attitude of what seems like the vast majority of Buffy and Firefly fans towards Twilight, and I’m sick to fucking death of being made to feel unwelcome because I happen to like both Twilight and Firefly. So fuck it. I’m out. I’ll miss you guys.
~CK
You can't take the sky from me...
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Quote:
Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
Hey guys,
Quick hello and goodbye. Thought I’d swing by and see what was up, got distracted by the fucking idiotic “Underworld vs. Twilight” thread, and, sorry, that’s it, I’m hanging up my browncoat for good. I can’t fucking stand the attitude of what seems like the vast majority of Buffy and Firefly fans towards Twilight, and I’m sick to fucking death of being made to feel unwelcome because I happen to like both Twilight and Firefly. So fuck it. I’m out. I’ll miss you guys.
~CK
You can't take the sky from me...
Boo! That's no fun! I don't even know the first thing about Twilight. I call discrimination! Just cause some other Buffy & Firefly fans are snobs doesn't mean we all are. Some of us are too lazy to read
Come back! You never even recapped Blizcon!!
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Sorry to see ya go CK. Love to you and yours.
If I came off as rejecting the study of human communication SF I'm sorry. It is more a rejection of the attitude that it is okay to accept the lack of communication skills or the lack of ability to learn on the part of others. As a man, I am no mind reader. I can read non verbal cues and communications quite well. But I've been around too many people who expected everyone to know what they were thinking rather than vocalizing the things they needed or wanted. Even the lack of stating basic emotion between men and women has become a social norm. So much that it has leeched into romantic relations and family dynamic.
I'm sure you and your wife have a much more open communication style than in your first year of marriage. For that I must thank you and anyone like you who put forth the effort to improve your quality of life. Living by example is one of the best ideas to improve the world around you.
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The country is making a big mistake not teaching kids to cook and raise a garden and build fires.
-Loretta Lynn
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Quote:
Originally posted by CaliforniaKaylee:
Hey guys,
Quick hello and goodbye. Thought I’d swing by and see what was up, got distracted by the fucking idiotic “Underworld vs. Twilight” thread, and, sorry, that’s it, I’m hanging up my browncoat for good. I can’t fucking stand the attitude of what seems like the vast majority of Buffy and Firefly fans towards Twilight, and I’m sick to fucking death of being made to feel unwelcome because I happen to like both Twilight and Firefly. So fuck it. I’m out. I’ll miss you guys.
~CK
You can't take the sky from me...
Ah, come on. You can't run away because I'm assuming some Whedonites don't like Twilight (I haven't read any of the threads). Some of us do. :D I actually love the books, but thought the movie was merely okay, partly because I think Robert Pattinson is pastey and gross for the most part. He's certainly no Edward as described in the book. I'm anxiously awaiting the next movie. It's not BtVS, that's for sure and people who expect it to be are being lame. ;)
After the treatment Angel received, I have a reactionary dislike of all other vampire tales. And yet, if I give them a chance, I tend to like them...which is hard for me to admit. I'm sure there are some people that hate Twilight solely because it's about vampires and they think Whedon is canon on that whole topic.
Oh...and hi guys. Zeek...congrats on the new job. That's good stuff.
NVG: men and women DO communicate differently, but that's not to say we cannot be understood by each other. Trying to understand someone (style of commuication, viewpoint, etc) is what respect in communication is all about. Lots of people haven't got that ability...even ones that think they are very open minded and accepting.
SolarFlare: loved the story. As a woman, I would've understood right away that that was a request to take the garbage out. ;)
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"The power of accurate observation is commonly called cynicism by those who have not got it." - George Bernard Shaw
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