Cops taser Obama by accident in New York

POSTED BY: chrisisall
UPDATED: Saturday, September 26, 2009 00:09
VIEWED: 1312
PAGE 1 of 1

CHRISISALL

Thursday, September 24, 2009 6:21 PM

Quote:

September 22, 2009
Fahx News
New York

President Obama was coming out of the UN building with his entourage onto 1st avenue, when Obama suddenly broke away to grab a knish from a local vendor. The President handed the man a five dollar bill, and not wanting the change, turned away and began walking. A police officer identified as Richard Lymangood, not recognizing Obama, who was wearing his sunglasses, thought he stealing from the vendor and shouted for the President to stop while simultaniously firing a taser at him from behind. Eye wittnesses stated that President Obama turned around after being hit with the taser, muttered "what?" and then quickly added, "ummm...OUCH!"
The startled officer promptly apologized and offered assistance, but the President showed no signs of pain, even though he had only a dress shirt on. On later questioning, Obama reportedly told reporters that the taser must have luckily been out of juice, yet immediate testing of the weapon showed it to be fully functional, and recently fired.
South Carolina Rep. Joe Wilson immediately called for Obama to be tested. "Kryptonians CANNOT by LAW be Presidents of this country!" he pointed out vehemently.

The laughing Chrisisall

KWICKO

Thursday, September 24, 2009 6:44 PM

This reads just like something off the front page of the New York Post.

Did you get a new job, Chris?

Mike

Old friend charity
Cruel twisted smile
And the smile signals emptiness
For me
Starless and Bible black

CHRISISALL

Thursday, September 24, 2009 7:09 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
Did you get a new job, Chris?

No man, I'm still a student; I'm just playing with my writing skills a bit.

Plus, with all PN's "Cops tasered---" posts, I thought a biggie was in order.

The laughing Chrisisall

RUE

Thursday, September 24, 2009 7:23 PM

I LIKE it !

Maybe you could write for The Onion ?

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

CHRISISALL

Thursday, September 24, 2009 7:41 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by rue:
Maybe you could write for The Onion ?

Nah. If you peel back MY layers, all you find is mindless, directionless anti-authoritarian babble.

The laughing Chrisisall

RUE

Thursday, September 24, 2009 8:00 PM

Maybe you could write for The Yes Men then !

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/sep/22/climate-week-hoax-ne
w-york

A group of pranksters called the Yes Men, who first struck a few years ago with bogus copies of the New York Times proclaiming an end to the Iraq war, yesterday distributed phoney copies (only about 100,000 of them !) of the New York Post, with headlines warning: "Global warming kills" and "World leaders slip on UN summit slope".

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Silence is consent.

KWICKO

Thursday, September 24, 2009 9:09 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by rue:
I LIKE it !

Maybe you could write for The Onion ?

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

Well, it would defnitely get PN to quote you as a legitimate news source...

Mike

Old friend charity
Cruel twisted smile
And the smile signals emptiness
For me
Starless and Bible black

KWICKO

Thursday, September 24, 2009 9:11 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by rue:
Maybe you could write for The Yes Men then !

http://www.guardian.co.uk/environment/2009/sep/22/climate-week-hoax-ne
w-york

A group of pranksters called the Yes Men, who first struck a few years ago with bogus copies of the New York Times proclaiming an end to the Iraq war, yesterday distributed phoney copies (only about 100,00 of them) of the New York Post, with headlines warning: "Global warming kills" and "World leaders slip on UN summit slope".

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

Turnabout is fair play, I s'pose...

(I'll try to clarify that later when I have a bit more time to do more than snark and snipe.)

CHRISISALL

Thursday, September 24, 2009 9:30 PM

This one's always been my favourite:

The laughing Chrisisall

RUE

Thursday, September 24, 2009 9:38 PM

Priceless.

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For everything else, there's MasterCard.

DREAMTROVE

Thursday, September 24, 2009 9:48 PM

Quote:
Chris
Nah. If you peel back MY layers, all you find is mindless, directionless anti-authoritarian babble.

You have layers? Or you mean you just live in NY? Also Still a student? I thought you were like 40. Oh, must be the weed.

max snark density.

RUE

Thursday, September 24, 2009 9:50 PM

"Or you mean you just live in NY?"

Posted like an up-stater.

ETA:

***************************************************************

Silence is consent.

CHRISISALL

Thursday, September 24, 2009 9:57 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by dreamtrove:
You have layers?

Like clothes in a hamper, dude.

Quote:
Or you mean you just live in NY?

No, I Escaped From New York.

Quote:
Also Still a student?

It's a new world. Have to keep up.

Quote:
I thought you were like 40.

Nearly.

Quote:
Oh, must be the weed.

Makes me paranoid; I prefer "Alias" at the moment.

The laughing Chrisisall

CHRISISALL

Thursday, September 24, 2009 9:57 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by rue:
"Or you mean you just live in NY?"

Posted like an up-stater.

BWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!

The laughing Chrisisall

KWICKO

Thursday, September 24, 2009 10:49 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by dreamtrove:
Quote:
Chris
Nah. If you peel back MY layers, all you find is mindless, directionless anti-authoritarian babble.

You have layers? Or you mean you just live in NY? Also Still a student? I thought you were like 40. Oh, must be the weed.

max snark density.

Chris has layers. He's what you'd call a 7-layer dip.

(I kid, of course; Chris is one of my very favorite posters around here)

Can't be a student at 40? Dang, there go my plans...

Or did you mean he went back to school at his age just to score good weed?

College kids always have the bunkest ditchweed. For true tasteez, you've gotta go with the pros.

Ummm... Or so I've heard! I wouldn't know. Really. Never touched the stuff!

Mike

Old friend charity
Cruel twisted smile
And the smile signals emptiness
For me
Starless and Bible black

CHRISISALL

Friday, September 25, 2009 12:22 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by Kwicko:

Or did you mean he went back to school at his age just to score good weed?

Paranoya will destroya.

The laughing Chrisisall

ANTHONYT

Friday, September 25, 2009 1:16 AM

Hello Chris,

You have layers, but not like an Onion.

More like a Parfait.

Everyone likes a Parfait.

--Anthony

"Liberty must not be purchased at the cost of Humanity." --Captain Robert Henner

CHRISISALL

Friday, September 25, 2009 1:55 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by AnthonyT:
Hello Chris,

You have layers, but not like an Onion.

More like a Parfait.

"A dessert made of several layers of different flavors of ice cream or ices, variously garnished and served in a tall glass."
Ummm... thanks, I think.

Any comment on SuperObama? Forget if he was born in America- was he born on EARTH??????

The laughing Chrisisall

ANTHONYT

Friday, September 25, 2009 2:01 AM

Hello,

According to my extensive research (Chariots of the Gods, etc) we are all extra-terrestrials, or at least have the genetic material from extra-terrestrials. We seem to be unable to invent anything or accomplish anything without extra-terrestrial visits or infusions of alien DNA. Hence, we are all aliens.

With no eligible candidates, we either elect a monkey, or let Obama serve.

--Anthony

"Liberty must not be purchased at the cost of Humanity." --Captain Robert Henner

DREAMTROVE

Friday, September 25, 2009 2:08 AM

lol to:

Rue: Posted like an up-stater.
Chris: No, I Escaped From New York.
Mike: he went back to school at his age just to score good weed?
Tony: You have layers, but not like an Onion.

Actually, I think he demonstrated that his layers are very much like an Onion.

I'm a metalhead, but I prefer: Paranoia strikes deep, into your heart it will creep

I like this thread. It's fun. Too bad those flamewars are so long and serious. I vote for more sockpuppets!

CHRISISALL

Friday, September 25, 2009 2:30 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by AnthonyT:
we either elect a monkey, or let Obama serve.

Evil, Roddy Mcdowell hating preverts would say we've done both.
But, that's the response you set us up for, eh?

The laughing Chrisisall

ANTHONYT

Friday, September 25, 2009 2:37 AM

Hello,

Hmm... perhaps I should have said Llama or something without any unfortunate (and unintentional) connotations.

--Anthony

"Liberty must not be purchased at the cost of Humanity." --Captain Robert Henner

CHRISISALL

Friday, September 25, 2009 9:24 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by AnthonyT:

Hmm... perhaps I should have said Llama or something without any unfortunate (and unintentional) connotations.

No worries Tony, we reach.

The laughing Chrisisall

DREAMTROVE

Friday, September 25, 2009 9:44 PM

dolly llama, a peruvian cloning experiment

CHRISISALL

Friday, September 25, 2009 10:48 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by dreamtrove:
dolly llama, a peruvian cloning experiment

Inappropriate, but somehow appropriate.

The laughing Chrisisall

DREAMTROVE

Saturday, September 26, 2009 12:09 AM

Thank you, I was hoping someone would catch that... Why we need freedom from political correctness, so we can say things like the president is more luau than luo. ;)

The last president was animated by a small symbiont living in his head that attempted motor functions, but only succeeded in walking into chinese walls and getting his balls bitten by the thanksgiving day turkey he had just pardoned.