ASK MAD CHRIS...with Chrisisall
POSTED BY: chrisisall
UPDATED: Monday, April 20, 2009 01:35
VIEWED: 4983
PAGE 5 of 7
Time for another E-mail:
"When I wait for the light to turn green, and then it does, many people in front of me refuse to move until at least a second or two passes after the person in front of them moves. This causes me to double dip on the red many times. If we all started moving at the green signal, it would be fine. It's so frustrating- why does this happen?"- Edison Carter, NJ
Edison, YOU obviously have somewhere you want to go, but the majority of peeps out there are going to a crappy job or a crappy home or a crappy movie, and are just fine with spending as much time in their car as humanly possible. Fact of life, dude, deal.
The laughing Chrisisall
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Quote:I'm not the one with my dick in a goat.
Originally posted by Kwicko:Quote:
I would love to see a sex tape with him and a goat.
I think that's more a "you" problem than a "him" problem...
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THAT'S IT! I'M CALLING DR PHIL! YOU GUYS HAVE NOTHING! I ask you for help and what do I get! MOCKED! That's what! You guys SUCK!.....and are ugly!
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Quote:
Originally posted by whozit:Quote:I'm not the one with my dick in a goat.
Originally posted by Kwicko:Quote:
I would love to see a sex tape with him and a goat.
I think that's more a "you" problem than a "him" problem...
Wouldja like to be? I know this goat-herd...

W W R D ?
What would Rorschach do?
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Quote:MORE MOCKING!! OLBERMAN'S THE GOAT DATER NOT ME!! And his ratings suck.
Originally posted by WASHnwear:Quote:
Originally posted by whozit:Quote:I'm not the one with my dick in a goat.
Originally posted by Kwicko:Quote:
I would love to see a sex tape with him and a goat.
I think that's more a "you" problem than a "him" problem...
Wouldja like to be? I know this goat-herd...
W W R D ?
What would Rorschach do?
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Dear: MAD Chris
I occasionally like to have a few adult beverages at the local Irish bar and though I try to keep track of my hourly alcohol consumption, I sometimes worry when I leave the bar that I might be just slightly over the legal limit. Given the Draconian nature of current DUI laws I am confused about what I should do if pulled over by a police officer. Is it best to pull over and take my chances with the legal system or should I lead the police on a high speed chase resulting in a fiery crash and gun battle. It seems the consequences are similar now due to those f***ing MAD mothers.
Confused
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Dear Mad Chris, Could you please explain to me why, on my recent trip to America you insist on driving on the right hand side of the road.You bloody colonnials just flatly refused to recognise an Englishman coming head on. How very inconsiderate. Its bad enough that you cant speak the language properly, But please try and keep to the Queens driving code. Steady on.
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Quote:Confused, a high speed chase, crash, & shootout, while temporarily enjoyable, is no one's lasting friend. If you have no reason to live, it IS extremely cool, but otherwise, I'd advise you to eat seven or eight packs of Reeses peanut butter cups just before you leave your pub- this messes with the breathalyzer, and saves your butt if you're just slightly over.
Originally posted by Kirkules:
Dear: MAD Chris
I occasionally like to have a few adult beverages at the local Irish bar and though I try to keep track of my hourly alcohol consumption, I sometimes worry when I leave the bar that I might be just slightly over the legal limit. Given the Draconian nature of current DUI laws I am confused about what I should do if pulled over by a police officer. Is it best to pull over and take my chances with the legal system or should I lead the police on a high speed chase resulting in a fiery crash and gun battle. It seems the consequences are similar now due to those f***ing MAD mothers.
Confused
Also, have a friend take you to a deserted parking lot one night where you can practice driving in a sober fashion while drunk. It's a skill like any other, and surprisingly easy to master.
Eff M.A.D.D.

The laughing Chrisisall
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Electric cars are just around the corner. What are we going to do with the millions of gas stations everywhere(I'm really worried).
Thanks.
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Quote:
Originally posted by peacekeeper:
Dear Mad Chris, Could you please explain to me why, on my recent trip to America you insist on driving on the right hand side of the road.You bloody colonnials just flatly refused to recognise an Englishman coming head on. How very inconsiderate. Its bad enough that you cant speak the language properly, But please try and keep to the Queens driving code. Steady on.
Steady, most Yanks are right-handed, and since we are so oriented towards violence, it makes sense that we drive on the side we would strike another person from. It's really not OUR fault that you left-hand Euro types can't embrace your destructive & animalistic natures as well as we can. Go ahead & beat the crap out of someone, then try driving on the right-hand side & see how it feels.

The laughing Chrisisall
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