ASK MAD CHRIS...with Chrisisall
POSTED BY: chrisisall
UPDATED: Monday, April 20, 2009 01:35
VIEWED: 4983
PAGE 2 of 7
Quote:BSCM, I personally have had to deal with vintage classic car possession, and have found this to be quite helpful:
Originally posted by bluesuncompanyman:
Dear Chris,
My friends 1958 red and white Plymouth Fury is possessed and insists on being called Christine. At night she drives around town alone commiting acts of vehiclar homicide. What should I do?
The rental & delivery and pick-up fee can be quite high, but well worth it.
The laughing Chrisisall
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
I've heard that the government is going to mandate some new technologies be implemented into cars in the near future, and I wanted to get your input.
For one thing, I'm told that Cadillac will be required to have a timer switch connected to the turn signal switch, and that would in turn be connected to a detonator attached to the gas tank. The idea is that if you're a blue-haired old lady who drives with her left blinker on for 200 miles, your car would now explode. The proposal allows for a two-minute timer on the turn signal, after which your car goes "BOOM!"
They're also looking into putting this technology into the Lincoln Town Car and every Buick, or so I'm told.
Have you heard anything about this?
Mike
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day...
Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:Mike, this is the quintessential urban legend. In clinical trials with real blu-haired old ladies, innocent passers-by would inevitably become involved:
Originally posted by Kwicko:
They're also looking into putting this technology into the Lincoln Town Car and every Buick, or so I'm told.
Have you heard anything about this?
The plans for urban deployment were scrapped, but the political & military applications are proceeding. Chances are, in the future when you see that baby 'splode on the street, it'll be some filthy diplomat or other.
The laughing Chrisisall
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Well, just as long as the technology is being put to good use! :)
Mike
Build a man a fire and he'll be warm for a day...
Set a man on fire and he'll be warm for the rest of his life.
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
MADChris
There are times when I've been driving for hours in bumper-to-bumper traffic when I just want to hit the gas and ram the car ahead of me.
Is such a thing ever appropriate ?
If it helps you answer, I haved a 95 Corolla wagon that's pretty beat.
Signed
Tempted and wondering
***************************************************************
Silence is consent.
NOTIFY: N | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Time for an E-mail!
"I've noticed that not only do regular people NOT engage their turn signals, 5-0 don't pull them over for it. What's up with that, yo?"- Reynolds Rapper, NYC
Reynolds, in the old days before large electric grids and streetlights, signaling was mandatory to give pedestrians advance notice of imminent death or disfigurement. In todays modern era with the overload of visual data on the road, combined with the superior speed of the vehicles, signaling is entirely optional, and serves no real purpose.
The laughing Chrisisall
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:Tempted, such actions are NEVER appropriate, and are to be avoided.
Originally posted by rue:
MADChris
There are times when I've been driving for hours in bumper-to-bumper traffic when I just want to hit the gas and ram the car ahead of me.
Is such a thing ever appropriate ?
If it helps you answer, I have a 95 Corolla wagon that's pretty beat.
Signed
Tempted and wondering
Buuuut, if you MUST lash out, given your car type, tie a discarded motorcycle tire to both front & rear bumpers, so that you can bash those motherf****s REAL good with minimal damage to your own vehicle.
You GO girl, and remember, road rage is legally recognized as temporary insanity in every state now except Florida & Hawaii, so rock & ruin!!!
The laughing Chrisisall
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Dear MADChris
My cars talk to me.
My first car spoke to me like that guy from St. Elsewhere but eventually it got tired and old so it had to go. Then last year I bought a new one and this also talks to me (sounding like Val Kilmer oddly enough) but it just isn't the same. I miss the feelings of nostalgic fondness that I had with my original car, whereas the new one just sucks.
Can you fix it like Bob The Builder?
"I don't believe in suicide, but if you'd like to try it it might cheer me up to watch."
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:Val Kilmer from Willow, or more like from Batman Forever?
Originally posted by lwaves:
Then last year I bought a new one and this also talks to me (sounding like Val Kilmer oddly enough)
The laughing Chrisisall
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Quote:
Originally posted by chrisisall:Quote:Val Kilmer from Willow, or more like from Batman Forever?
Originally posted by lwaves:
Then last year I bought a new one and this also talks to me (sounding like Val Kilmer oddly enough)
The laughing Chrisisall
Oh definitely Batman Forever but with a hint of 'I'm not as famous as I used to be' thrown in.
Think I'll go sharpen my claws now.
"I don't believe in suicide, but if you'd like to try it it might cheer me up to watch."
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME