Worst of the Worst - Contribute to The Most Awful Fic Ever Written
POSTED BY: jetflair
UPDATED: Friday, February 17, 2012 18:36
VIEWED: 87562
PAGE 18 of 22
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I don't know if this fic was ever posted, but I would really like to read it now. o.o
I get the feeling it would betray all efforts to be horrendous and be beautiful mind-blowing perfection instead.
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I don't think it was ever actually written and exists only on this thread. Which is a good thing, people can contribute to the "worst of the worst" in perpetuity,
http://fireflyfaninnc.livejournal.com/
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The Operative is the son of [dramatic music cue] SHEPHERD BOOK! Who was ALSO, in the past life he doesn't have to tell Mal about... [dramatic music cue] an OPERATIVE!!! And... the Book that dies on Haven is... a BOT!
ALSO.... SO IS WASH! The real Book has had another Bot made in Wash's likeness JUST IN CASE a situation arose where Reavers might shoot sharpened telephone poles into the windshield of Serenity. He convinces Wash to the switch easily, pointing out that (very handy, completely shielded, and well-stocked) secret cave on Haven = relative safety, while Reaver space = not so much. In case of the bot surviving, Book has programmed it with a code phrase to differentiate it from Wash.... "I am a leaf on the wind...."
After all are reunited, Book creates a new dilemma for Mal and the crew of Serenity... "Help me find my son."
[cue dramatic music]
~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~ ~
Walk tall, or don't walk at all...
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Quote:
Originally posted by CarolJude:
That's the spirit!:)
........................
meanwhile Inara has nagged (in a feminist unfeminist way) the long suffering (in a macho non macho way) mal into opening a chain of boutiques specialising in hand crafted pottery - during a racy slow motion clay scene they accidentally arouse the spirit of Mr Universe who gleefully attempts to inhabit the flesh once again.
This turns out to be Inara's flesh and soon Mr Uni is getting it on with the Captain in a freaky NC-17 piece of zombie prawn.
Fortunately this comes to an end when Zoe walks in and puts a bullet into the back of Inara's head.
Now it's tense as Simon attempts to keep the comatose companion alive until Serenity makes it to the nearest hospital.
Will Inara survive yet another fatal fan cliff hanger?
River doesn't think so and beats everyone up in sight whilst singing Dr Seus books backwards.
Zoe and Jayne were played by Sir Also Not Appearing in this film.
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You want crossovers? (cackle, cackle)
I'll give you ceossovers! Howzabout Book is/was a paratime cop, or maybe a lensman? What if they had a glitch in the navacomputer and got so far off course that they stumbled onto PERN?? Or they returned (via wormhole) to Earth that was and it was run by apes??? The mind bogggles at the possabilities. Maybe they crossed into a paralell universe where magic worked???? That should mess with Jayne's mind. I could keep going but my meds are kicking in--suddenly all I can think of are vegetables--oooh carrots...
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Quote:
Originally posted by moondog:
You want crossovers? (cackle, cackle)
yeah with like the great great great grandson of TJ Hooker! )))
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I never wanna see fanfic like some of Treks', that would be, Mal & Simon being lovers.
GRRRRR!!!
The laughing Chrisisall
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Quote:
Originally posted by wytchcroft:Quote:
Originally posted by moondog:
You want crossovers? (cackle, cackle)
yeah with like the great great great grandson of TJ Hooker! )))
that's PARA-time cop-- Check out H. Beam Piper, "Paratime" "Lord Kalvin of Otherwhen".
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Quote:
Originally posted by moondog:Quote:
Originally posted by wytchcroft:Quote:
Originally posted by moondog:
You want crossovers? (cackle, cackle)
yeah with like the great great great grandson of TJ Hooker! )))
that's PARA-time cop-- Check out H. Beam Piper, "Paratime" "Lord Kalvin of Otherwhen".
yeah. uh. actually i knew that.
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