Funny movie quotes
POSTED BY: OPPYH
UPDATED: Monday, December 8, 2008 18:54
VIEWED: 7629
PAGE 4 of 5
Four Weddings and a Funeral
Young Bridesmaid: What's bonking?
Scarlett: Well, it's kinda like table tennis, only with slightly smaller balls.
Scarlett:( getting a job in a shop that sells rubber clothes) They say rubber's mainly for perverts. Don't know why. Think it's very practical, actually. I mean, you spill anything on it and it just comes off. I suppose that could be why the perverts like it.
To love someone is to see a miracle invisible to others.
--Francois Mauriac
It's fuzzy-minded liberal thinking like that that gets you eaten.
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Quote:
Originally posted by MsA:
Where's my two dollars?
Better off Dead? Nice one MsA. That film is still ahead of it's time with the funny:)
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LOL love that second Scarlett quote MsA XD
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A Life Less Ordinary
Robert: Right you asshole, I've got your daughter here, and I'm gonna send her back in pieces if... OH! I'm sorry, madam. I must have dialed the wrong number. No, I haven't got your daughter here, I've got someone else's. ... No, we're not married. Yes, I've read the same thing, it's very hard to find suitable young men these days. ... Well, I'm sure your daughter's very nice, in principle I've got no objection to meeting her...
[Celine hangs up the phone]
Robert: What is the problem?
O'Reilly: Our fee for the recovery of your daughter is... one hundred thousand dollars.
Naville: That's a lot of money.
O'Reilly: Five thousand in advance. The rest is cash on delivery - no daughter, no dough.
Jackson: And naturally we'd operate on a sliding scale, whereby if we only bring back part of your daughter, we only get part of the money.
O'Reilly: That's enough, Jackson.
Jackson: No, I mean if he's cut her ears off and we can't find them, we'll knock a couple thousand off the tariff. More for a limb, obviously.
O'Reilly: Jackson.
Jackson: Sorry.
Robert: You... you're going to kill me?
Jackson: Yeah.
[Robert cries hysterically]
Robert: Well then I don't see why I should dig!
Jackson: If you dig, I promise you when the time comes I'll shoot you through the head.
[Robert laughs bitterly]
Jackson: Now look, you don't like that? I can just shoot you through the testicles right now, you can bleed to death, I'll dig the grave, it's up to you.
Jackson: Have you ever felt like you're not in control of events?
Robert [looking down at the shovel he's being forced to dig his own grave with]: Yes!
Al: Nice-looking woman.
Robert: She isn't my type.
Al: What are you talking about? Look at yourself. You're nothing. You're nobody. You're wanted in connection with a violent crime. You're cleaning the floor of a diner. She is an intelligent, passionate, beautiful, rich woman. The issue of whether or not she's your type is not one that you're likely to have to resolve in this world... or, indeed, the next, since she will be going to some heaven for glamorous pussy, and you will be cleaning the floor of a diner in hell.
Robert: I guess so.
Al: So why are you even thinking about it?
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The Untouchables:
Malone: Why do you want to join the force?
Williamson: To protect and s...to protect and serve. to protect and ser...
Malone: Please don't search for the yearbook answer, eh? Just tell me what you think?
Williamson: Well, I think i....could help...
Malone: yeah?
Williamson: ...with the force.
Malone: You think you can help?
Williamson: Yeah.
Malone: Thank you.
[Williamson leaves]
Malone: (under his breath) There goes the next chief of police.
Malone: Why do you want to join the force?
Stone: To protect the property and citizenry of...
Malone: Oh please don't waste my time with that bullshit. (looks at Stone) Where are you from?
Stone: South side.
Malone: Stone. George Stone.
Stone: Yeah.
Malone: What's your *real* name?
Stone: (smirks) That is my real name.
Malone: No, what was it before you changed it?
Stone: (pause) Giuseppe Petri.
Malone: Ah, I knew it. (turnes to Ness) That's all you need is one thievin' wop on the team.
Stone: (taps Malone on the shoulder) Hey, what's that you say?
Malone: I said you're a lyin' member of a no good race.
[Stone slaps the clipboard out of Malone's hand and draws his revolver before Malone or Ness can move]
Stone: Much better than you, you stinkin' Irish pig.
Malone: (to Ness) Oh, I like him.
[Stone, confused, lowers his weapon]
Ness: (slightly shaken) Yeah, I like him too.
XD LOVE that scene. XD just effing love it.
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Ashe (Evil Dead): "Alright you primitive screw-heads, listen up. See this? This is my boomstick! It's a 12-gauge double-barreled Remington. S-Mart's top of the line. You can find this in the sporting goods department. That's right, this sweet baby was made in Grand Rapids, Michigan; retails for about one hundred nine, ninety-five. It's got a walnut stock, cobalt blue steel, and a hair trigger. That's right, shop smart, shop S-Mart!"
I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.
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Chuck Bartowski: Referring to Casey's Crown Victoria "It's very shiny!"
John Casey: "you're damn right she's shiny!" 
I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.
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John Casey: to Lester and Jeff, "We could do this the easy way or the hard way. The easy way is I shove Chuck's foot up your ass."
Jeff: "What's the hard way?"
John Casey: "I use MY foot!"
Chuck: "I'm thankful that Bryce Larkin is dead and is not currently in my bedroom making out with my new girlfriend."
Casey: "Excuse me..."
Morgan: "Wow, buddy, that was um... really... dark."
Captain Awesome: "And specific!"
I'd given some thought to movin' off the edge -- not an ideal location -- thinkin' a place in the middle.
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saw this lingering near the bottom, figured i'd bump it back to the top with some Iron Man ^_^
Obadiah Stane: Nice try, Tony, but my suit is more advanced in every way.
Tony Stark: How'd you solve the icing problem?
Obadiah Stane: Icing problem? (his systems shut down as ice builds up on the suit)
Tony Stark: Might wanna look into it. (knocks Obi's suit on the helmet, sending him plummeting back towards the ground)
Christine Everheart: You've been called the DaVinci of our time; what do you say to that?
Tony Stark: Absolutely ridiculous, I don't paint.
Rhodey: (jogging up to Tony's humvee) Hey, Tony.
Tony Stark: I'm sorry, this is the fun-vee. The hum-drum-vee's back there.
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ooooookay bumping again XD
*Tony finishes buckling his arm into his flight stabilizer as Pepper enters the shop*
Pepper: I've been buzzing you, didn't you hear the intercom? Obadiah's upstairs.
Tony: Good, tell him i'll be right up.
Pepper: *sees the machine* I thought you said you were done making weapons.
Tony: It isn't. This is a flight stabilizer. It's completely harmless. *hits a button to charge the stabilizer. it goes off and blasts him across the shop and off camera* I didn't expect that...
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