Worst Endings You Can Think Of For Serenity?

POSTED BY: DarkHood
UPDATED: Wednesday, July 14, 2004 16:07
VIEWED: 24941
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DTT

Monday, May 17, 2004 2:44 PM

Simon and Kaylee, finally having gotten over their foolish pride have become a couple. They're sitting together in a boat when suddenly, an alien ship appears and fires an energy weapon at them. They crystallize, then shatter.

THE END

?????

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

BROWNCOAT1

Monday, May 17, 2004 2:55 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by SergeantX:
Filming has completed when Universal gets jittery and brings in Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay to retool it for a more mass market appeal.

SergeantX

Dear God man! That is not even funny!

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."

BROWNCOAT1

Monday, May 17, 2004 3:04 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Succatash:

After Mal and crew save the day, the movie ends with a musical number and the crew dances around and gives each other high-fives to the song "We're Not Gonna Take It" by Twisted Sister.

As creepifying as that sounds, it might be hi-larious. That seem right to you?

"May have been the losing side. Still not convinced it was the wrong one."

MAUGWAI

Monday, May 17, 2004 3:13 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by britchick:
Worst ending? How about this/

Mal and Inara get hitched, in a double ceremony with Simon and Kaylee, Book is the Minister. At the reception, Zoe announces she is pregnant, and River and Jayne announce their engagement.

Patience is a guest at the wedding, and she and Book lock eyes across the crowded room. It turns out she is the reason he went into the Abbey. They were in love years before, but she left him after discovering she was pregnant by another man. She just disappeared, never explained to Book.

Wash discovers that he has a long lost half-sister, and she arrives at the Reception. It's none other than YoSaffBridge.

Meanwhile, Patience tells Book that his sister, whom he hasn't seen for about thirty years. had an illegitimate daughter. She was adopted by some ranch folk.

Book steps in to stop a fight between YoSaffBridge and Patience. YoSaffBridge recognised the mother she had only seen in photographs, and attacked her mother for abandoning her.

Book is badly gashed and needs a transfusion but he is a rare blood type. Turns out Zoe is the same rare blood type. Coincidence?

In the last ten minutes of the film, all is resolved and everyone is happy. YoSaffBridge and Patience are reconciled, Book and Zoe realise they are uncle and niece.

That's the Charles Dickens version, except there needs to be a lawyer in the story name Mr. Bimblybrook, who has twenty children who constantly fall down and get dirty.

**sigh** And that joke will only make sense to Dickens fans...

"Dear diary, today I was pompous and my sister was crazy."

WEERWOLF

Monday, May 17, 2004 4:26 PM

Quote:
HELL'S KITTEN
Some people juggle geese. Sunday, May 16, 2004 - 19:46

There are far too many bad endings I can think of, mainly cuz I'm a pessimist. Here are my top two for now...

1. Mal stands over Jayne's dead body and says "Yep." (beat) "That was an interesting day...."

2. The End

You know, that actually ain't half bad as a plot device... New mercenary needed of course (Jayne's twin brother, Suzy, perhaps), but I'd love to see the story of how Jayne got on the wrong side of Mal and then lost the fight.

---------------------------------------
"Damn it Mal... I forgot my line!"

DTT

Monday, May 17, 2004 6:20 PM

That would be a good start for an ep. -- you know, one of the many beginnings where the rest of the show is a flashback? Some kinda setup where Jayne turns out to still be alive...'cause you can't kill the Hero of Canton.

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

GUNHAND

Monday, May 17, 2004 6:46 PM

The crew winds up fighting the Alliance and Blue hands with some rememant Browncoats, they come close but just get whooped hard. They have to run but are low on ammo, food and fuel.

Wash dodges the last Alliance cruiser with a hard burn but burns up the last of their fuel so they're moving but on the drift. The crew is worried but Wash thinks he has an idea even though they're way off the map, he got a good reading on a planet that isn't on any charts and thinks his trajectory was good enough, and that there's just enough fuel in the reserve tanks to land.

After some tense interactions between the crew a planet hoves into view, green and blue like Earth that Was. The crew gets even more excited when Wash tells them that he's picked up what he thinks are very low frequency radio transmitions on the planet.

Mal looks at Book and asks him if it's possible that Blue Sun lied to get everyone off Earth that Was and that the place could still exist. Book nods sagely tells him a myth, a secret text from the monestary that says that is indeed a possibility, that Earth didn't die.

The crew hears the covesation and gets excited, they made it to Earth that Was and it's Earth that Is!

Wash brings them down through the atmosphere safely and then comes running back to the cargo bay where the rest of the crew is gathered. He's been monitoring the radio transmissions more closely since they could be picked up better on the way down and discovered they're English!

A ripple of excitement goes through them all as they open the hatch and lower the ramp. From a camera pan we can see there are people waiting for them, or at least we see legs outside. Then a closeup as the crew comes down the ramp, all of them wearing an amazed expression.

Realization hits that the "people" are in fact aliens! Jayne, Zoe and Mal all draw their guns in one motion and fire, as they all make clicking sounds they remember they're empty...

"Hello dere! Mes'sa Dar-Dar Jinks and tees are mes'sas peeps! Welcomes to ours planet homies!"

THE END

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

WEERWOLF

Monday, May 17, 2004 7:29 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by Gunhand:
The crew winds up fighting the Alliance and Blue hands with some rememant Browncoats, they come close but just get whooped hard. They have to run but are low on ammo, food and fuel.

Wash dodges the last Alliance cruiser with a hard burn but burns up the last of their fuel so they're moving but on the drift. The crew is worried but Wash thinks he has an idea even though they're way off the map, he got a good reading on a planet that isn't on any charts and thinks his trajectory was good enough, and that there's just enough fuel in the reserve tanks to land.

After some tense interactions between the crew a planet hoves into view, green and blue like Earth that Was. The crew gets even more excited when Wash tells them that he's picked up what he thinks are very low frequency radio transmitions on the planet.

Mal looks at Book and asks him if it's possible that Blue Sun lied to get everyone off Earth that Was and that the place could still exist. Book nods sagely tells him a myth, a secret text from the monestary that says that is indeed a possibility, that Earth didn't die.

The crew hears the covesation and gets excited, they made it to Earth that Was and it's Earth that Is!

Wash brings them down through the atmosphere safely and then comes running back to the cargo bay where the rest of the crew is gathered. He's been monitoring the radio transmissions more closely since they could be picked up better on the way down and discovered they're English!

A ripple of excitement goes through them all as they open the hatch and lower the ramp. From a camera pan we can see there are people waiting for them, or at least we see legs outside. Then a closeup as the crew comes down the ramp, all of them wearing an amazed expression.

Realization hits that the "people" are in fact aliens! Jayne, Zoe and Mal all draw their guns in one motion and fire, as they all make clicking sounds they remember they're empty...

"Hello dere! Mes'sa Dar-Dar Jinks and tees are mes'sas peeps! Welcomes to ours planet homies!"

THE END

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

YEEEAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHHH!!!

Gunhand go wash your mouth! That's a horrible thing to say! I'll have nightmares for weeks now, awful!

------------------------------------------
"Damn it Mal... I forgot my line!"

GUNHAND

Monday, May 17, 2004 7:34 PM

On it. I'm a bad bad man.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

STIZO

Monday, May 17, 2004 8:58 PM

Hey Zoid:
Actually i never thought of the "Mestizo" thing untill you said somthing (it's been awhile since high school spanish); It's just a nickname derived from my initials (s.t.z).

Quote:

Y'know, I used to think George Lucas was a genius; but then he started believing his own press. Now, when he does 'interviews' with Leonard Schmaltzin on those increasingly mangled Star Wars re-releases, he has this God-like quality to his speech and facial expressions. One is distinctly reminded of Michael Jackson, Elvis Presley, Babs Streisand and every other celebrity that falls prey to this horrifying disease.

But I totally gotta agree with your take on Lucas. He's really starting to piss me off.

----------------------------------------------
Conquering the galaxy with terrifying space monkeys, one ship at a time...

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