Worst Endings You Can Think Of For Serenity?

POSTED BY: DarkHood
UPDATED: Wednesday, July 14, 2004 16:07
VIEWED: 24941
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GUNHAND

Monday, May 17, 2004 9:03 PM

I watched Star Wars in a drive-in when I was a pup the day it came out. Loved Empire Strikes Back and dealt with the muppethell that was Return of the Jedi.

Then he went and did the Special Editions.

Then he went and did the Prequels.

So even though he helped define my childhood, I have to be of the opinion he is on a personal quest to mind all my happy memories and turn them to ash.

In short Mr. Lucas has become, to my mind...a hack.

I really need to start working on 'Verse Wars some more...

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

STIZO

Monday, May 17, 2004 9:19 PM

Congratulations Gunhand,
You just hit the bullseye dead on.
Lucas is out to kill what good memories we have left.

All Jedi had was a bunch of muppets
- Dante, Clerks.

----------------------------------------------
Conquering the galaxy with terrifying space monkeys, one ship at a time...

ZOID

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 12:25 AM

Stizo:

Sorry about the name thing, I just try guessing what some of the more arcane names might mean, especially if they seem suggestive of something. zoid means nothing either, it's just one I've been using since 1995. No offense intended, just playing around...

As I'm sitting here writing, dissing George Lucas for becoming an egomaniac or at least delusional of his own grandeur, I'm actually watching SWII:AotC on HBO Family. While I stick with my original assertion that the entire franchise has been diminished, mostly by this second prequel trilogy, I've also got to say that Ewan MacGregor is damn fine actor. In the space of like 5 minutes we go from Obi-Wan's very subtle and physically nuanced interrogation of Jango Fett to Hayden Christiansen's whiny "I'm haunted by the kiss that you should never have given me." This guy's not only never gonna pick Amidala's lock, but is there anyone who believes he's gonna turn into Darth-freakin'-Vader?!?

Still, gotta give MacGregor props. I've never seen him do badly, and he takes some serious risks in terms of roles and subject matter.

Respectfully,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"History may say I saved River; but it's not like that. No, that's not it at all. I saved my sister."

- Simon Tam, M.D., husband and father of 4, Jiangyin; from A Child Shall Lead Them: A History of the Second War of Independence Wilkins, Richard

EBONEZER

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 12:59 AM

Mal, Zoe, Jayne, Book and Wash infultrate a huge aliance cruser and single-handedly defeat over 50,000 aliance thugs to save River after she was re-captured.

They get on Serenity and fly away just before the entire aliance cruser explodes for no apparent reason.

Simon is glad to see river and finds that the whole experience has unlocked some hidden memories and she is suddenly all better.

Mal goes down to his bunk to find Inara waiting for him. She kisses him but he suddenly falls to the ground, dead or asleep. Inara has been a spy for the aliance all along and is about to wave the Aliance to tell them she has the fugitives, when Jayne shows up and stops her.

Why Jayne didn't fall for her 'femine wiles' is never explained.

They push Inara out of the airlock, revive Mal, and the credets begen rolling on Simon kissing kaylee and Zoe anouncing her pregnancy.

And they all lived happly ever after.

Except Inara.

-----------------------------------

Four out of five denstists reccomend calling Ebo a girl.

GUNHAND

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 1:03 AM

I agree Zoid, Ewan MacGregor is definately a very fine actor and I've thought that for quite a while.

That's part of the problem his talent is wasted on these scripts. He and Liam Neeson need to slap the crap out of their agents methinks. At least Liam had the good sense to demand his character died in the first one.

But MacGregor's definately the highpoint of the prequels for me so far. The thing that struck me is how much he sounded and moved like Sir Alec Guiness. He had to have studied him as Obi Wan for quite a while because not just his voice but his infliction are spot on.

And honestly his perfomance is the only good thing I can say about the whole Prequel mess. Hell I thought the special effects lacked the...grace perhaps? of the originals. I'm not sure the word but even though the special effects are much more technically advanced than the old ones they just scream "HEY LOOK! CGI HERE!!" to me and it distracts me from what's happening. Then again that may be a good thing...

Hell the effects in Firefly integrate seamlessly into the story while those in the Prequels distract and take away from the story. And there ain't that much to take away from there in my opinion.

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

PEACE

Tuesday, May 18, 2004 1:41 AM

Someone has already spoken my worst nightmare re: Serenity-- Jerry Bruckheimer and Michael Bay. The two-man cinematic wreaking crew. Bruckheimer's not bad as a producer, if he has a strong director to tell him where to stick it (e.g. Ridley Scott). Bay, on the other hand, is a total waste of space. Together they create some sort of weird, evil cinematic synergy that takes good concepts and turns them into utter cow pukie.

And what truly, utterly gripes me is-- THEY'RE MAKING MONEY AT IT! Bags of it. Makes me wonder about the tolerance and taste of the American viewing public....

As for Lucas-- how could such a visionary go so badly wrong? It stopped caring about SW sometime ago-- except that I'm hoarding my tapes of the first three films (Episodes 4-6, for those who insist on numerating them in sequence). Maybe there is such a thing as too much fame....

Oh, bugger! Now I have to wait for someone to wake up!

MANTICHORUS

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 12:35 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by dtt:
Simon and Kaylee, finally having gotten over their foolish pride have become a couple. They're sitting together in a boat when suddenly, an alien ship appears and fires an energy weapon at them. They crystallize, then shatter.

THE END

?????

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

Well, DTT, no-one's done THAT before

I think the worst thing they could do would be to totally change the characters. For example:
Jayne becomes a really nice guy who wouldn't sell you out for the entire 'verse.
River is completely sane and does some kinda gorram Jedi crap to the 'Blue Hands' fellas.
Kaylee is 100% serious, never smiles, and harbours a grudge against everyone.
Simon becomes an action hero.
...You get the idea.
If this happened, the only reaction we could give would be:

Universal, you have been warned!

"BADGER: You think you're better than other people.
MAL: Just the ones I'm better than."

DTT

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 12:49 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Mantichorus:
Well, DTT, no-one's done THAT before

I was wonderin if anybody would get that.

"You didn't have to wound that man."
"Yeah, I know. It was just funny."

CYBERSNARK

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 2:30 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by Stizo:
Congratulations Gunhand,
You just hit the bullseye dead on.
Lucas is out to kill what good memories we have left.

Methinks it's because Lucas wants to "end" the series; when he stops making money off it, everybody stops making money off it.

Which is sad 'cause the EU novels/comics/games are so much better than the movies.

NJO is what the prequels wish they were: dark, and gritty, and downright creepifying at times, and Jaina Solo (Han & Leia's daughter) does a far better Fall to the Dark Side than whiny little Annie Skywalker.

-----
We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

INSIGHT SPINNER

Wednesday, May 19, 2004 2:49 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by weerwolf:
Quote:

Originally posted by Gunhand:

A ripple of excitement goes through them all as they open the hatch and lower the ramp. From a camera pan we can see there are people waiting for them, or at least we see legs outside. Then a closeup as the crew comes down the ramp, all of them wearing an amazed expression.

Realization hits that the "people" are in fact aliens! Jayne, Zoe and Mal all draw their guns in one motion and fire, as they all make clicking sounds they remember they're empty...

"Hello dere! Mes'sa Dar-Dar Jinks and tees are mes'sas peeps! Welcomes to ours planet homies!"

THE END

~-~-~-~-~-~-~-
"Oh hey, I got an idea. Instead of us hanging
around playing art critic till I get pinched by
the Man, how's about we move away from this
eerie-ass piece of work and get on with our
increasingly eerie-ass day, how's that?"

My eerie-ass website:
http://gunhandsfirefly.homestead.com/Index.html

YEEEAAAAARRRRGHHHHHHHHH!!!

Gunhand go wash your mouth! That's a horrible thing to say! I'll have nightmares for weeks now, awful!

------------------------------------------
"Damn it Mal... I forgot my line!"

Thank you, Gunhand. You just reminded me that I have an appointment with all urban U.S. black folks everywhere to kill George Lucas. Be right back.... (except Eddie Murphy. He doesn't get to play)

There. That's better.

insight spinner
__________

Just an object. It doesn't mean what you think....

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