Take Turns Writing: "The Hippie and his Shotgun"
POSTED BY: Succatash
UPDATED: Friday, April 30, 2004 05:24
VIEWED: 17529
PAGE 10 of 11
"Hey! So i get the jumpsuit right?" Ebo said eagerly.
Tash shrugged, then realized he didn't have shoulders anymore, he nodded instead, but his head just bobbed around, bubbling angrly he gave up on body lauguage he said, "Sure. Have fun with it."
"Yay!" she snatched the jumpsuit off Teela body and pulled it on. "Alrighty then lets take this baby for a test drive! Lets try flying," she jumped up and dpwn but didn't fly. "Nope, superspeed?" she tried running but if anything the heavy fabric slowed her down. "Nope, superstength? No. Can i shot flames? no. Repel bullets? I don't wanna try. So whats this thing good for?"
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Tash, good to see you back, it was become the Teela and Ebo show there for a while.
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"When did this become not funny?"
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Ebo, it always ends up as Teela and Ebo shows. 
But seriously, welcome back Tash.
___________
"To fly, try throwing yourself at the ground and missing." Teela told her.
"How do you miss?"
"Don't be afraid of the ground. It will hurt more if you forget to miss the ground."
"Okay. One...two...three!" Ebo jumped.
"Look over there!" Tash shouted.
"What?" Ebo jerked her head, and saw nothing. But she was floating.
The Big Guy started talking to her. "Okay, don't wave, you are not breaking the laws of physics."
"Cool! I'm flying!" Ebo started rising upwards. "WHOO-HOOO!!! Wait, I'm breaking the laws of physics!" She started barrelling downwards.
"No yer not!" shouted the Hippie, who believed physics were a waste of time, and never bothered to learn it.
_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard
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Ebo screeched to a halt. She found herself hovering a few inches off the ground, "Cool! I feel like that dude in that movie!"
She darted up into the air, did a barrel roll, and dove back at the ground, "Weee! This is fun!" She stopped and hovered near the ground, "So now what do we do? Weren't there natives or somesuch thing?"
"Oh yeah, where'd they get off to?" the Big Guy looked around.
"Hey look!" Teela said, "Smoke!"
"Oh boy! Must be a party!" Ebo shouted. She started to fly off towards the smoke but the Hippie grabbed her ankle and pulled her down. Ebo suddenly thought about how much it would hurt if she fell and found herself lying in a crumpled heap on the ground.
"No parties," the Hippie said firmly, "Remember what happened last time we went to a party?"
"We ate chips," Ebo said, rubbing her head.
"Are you forgeting the part where we almost got eaten?"
"yes."
"Hey guys, the smoke seems to be getting closer. Under circumstances where i had legs, i would be running about now," Tash said.
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"When did this become not funny?"
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Despite the approaching scary smoke, Teela and Tash smiled and bubbled inside their new big jar. Tash said, "Since Teela is my roommate, we upgraded to the Super Jar with built in jet packs. We're leaving."
Teela rubbed her nose on the jar and the jet packs ignited. The heads of Teela and Tash flew into the air.
"Wait!" cried Eboneezer. She began to fly after them. But the Big Guy grabbed her leg and the Hippie grabbed her other leg.
All three of them flew clumsily into the air in pursuit of the Big Flying Jar O' Teela-Tash. The Hippie and the Big Guy clung tightly to Ebo's legs. Beneath them, Mother Earth was on fire!
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"You guys seriously need to consider loosing some weight," Ebo grunted.
The big guy rolled his eyes, "Like i didn't see that stupid cleche coming. Joss would be disapointed."
"Joss? What is he a cowboy or something?"
The Big Guy sighed.
"Where are we going?" Ebo called up to the Jar o' TnT.
"Up." Tash responded.
"Oh. Ok."
"Won't the air pressure lesson to the point that our lungs will colapse and our bodies explode?" The Big Guy asked.
"I don't have lungs," Teela said.
"Ditto," Tash bubbled.
The Big Guy looked to Ebo, she shugged, "Apparently, I'm some sort of robot. I'm not too concerned."
"What about you?" the Big Guy asked the Hippie, "You're human, arn't you concerned?"
The hippie shook his head, "No. My shotgun has a built in oxygen tank."
"So everybody is covered for this going off planet thing but me?"
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"When did this become not funny?"
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Teela and Tash smiled at the Big Guy. Teela said, "Don't worry, Big Guy, our Big Jar comes with an extra Life Support Air Hose." Teela pushed a button and a long hose emerged from the side of the Jar. Tash smiled knowingly, and the Big Guy sighed in relief.
The Big Guy grabbed the air hose and put it in his mouth and began sucking air. Teela shook her head angrily, and cried, "No! Are you crazy! You'll kill yourself!" Bubbles rose furiously in the jar.
Tash smiled wisely and spoke gently to the Big Guy. "Uh, the air hose. It doesn't go in your mouth...."
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The big guy blushed and said, "oh, of course," and stuck the tube in his ear.
"Why are we going off planet?" Ebo asked.
"Because the earth is on fire," Teela said patently.
"Why?"
"I imagene its Donald Trumps fault."
"Why?"
"Because he's rich and you can blame things on rich people."
"Why?"
"Do you want me to pull over?" Teela said angrly.
Ebo fell silent. After a while she said, "Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No."
"Are we there yet?"
"No!"
"Were are we going?"
"No!"
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"When did this become not funny?"
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"That actually is a good question Teela." The Big Guy said. "Where are we going?"
"Um, away?"
"To where?" the Hippie asked.
Tash piped up: "If I just say some random planet, will you be quiet?"
"Sure!" said Ebo.
"Yup." said the Hippie.
"Of course. We're Americans." The Big Guy said.
"Okay then. We're going to Jupiter."
"Oohh."
"I see."
"Makes sense."
And they flew on...
_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard
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They flew some more. A short beard began to appear on the Big Guy's face.
Ebo's hair got a little longer.
The hippie got more wrinkles.
Tash and Teela stayed pretty much the same.
The Big Guy and the Hippie were begeing to get hungry.
"Wow," Ebo said absently, "Jupeter sure is a long ways away....Hey! Who wants to play the license plate game?!"
_______________________
I'm trying to win tickets to disneyland! So i sent a fax asking for them. And i got a fax back! But the freakin fax maciene (the one built into the freaking computer) is having some sort of melt-down and won't receve it!
damn technology!
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"When did this become not funny?"
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Teela started to tell Ebo: "Honey, there aren't lisense plates-" then she looked up. She muttered to herself: "Well I'll be damned."
A Winebago passed.
"Any food there?" the Hippie asked.
"Hey look-a burger bar!" Ebo pointed.
The Big Guy read: "Big Bang Burger Bar. Interesting. Let's get something to eat."
"Sure. Why not." So they parked.
"Whadda y'all want?" Tash asked back.
"Lesse..." Ebo began...
_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME