Take Turns Writing: "The Hippie and his Shotgun"
POSTED BY: Succatash
UPDATED: Friday, April 30, 2004 05:24
VIEWED: 17529
PAGE 8 of 11
But they were Zen Pirates, so they had nothing to fear.
..........
If you want to see the Zen Pirate picture here's the URL: http://www.wunderland.com/WTS/Andy/SBHarvest/tshirts.html#ZenPiratesTs
hirt
Funny, no?
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"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard
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the zen pirates invited them onto the boat. They sprinkled our hero's with herbs and greeted them with a friendship pipe ceremony.
They then took them below deck and served them tea.
"Well," Tash said, sipping his tea, "this is certainly anti-climatic."
Suddenly a crew member came running below deck, "We are under attack! Please take cover!"
Teela looked confused, "Who would attack the zen pirates?"
"We do not know, but their ship is large and square, and they sing."
"Oh boy! Songs!" Ebo exclaimed, "What are they singing?"
"Perhaps you should come hear for yourself."
They followed the crew member topside and saw the large, vaugly building shaped ship coming towards them. They heard singing float accross the water:
"It's grand to be an accountant, and sail the great accountant sea! To (something) and (someting) the funds offshore and..."
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"When did this become not funny?"
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"Accountants? Jeez, these things keep on getting...odd..." Teela paused.
Ebo, who was trying to pick up on the song, began singing: "The story General Stanley told..."
"Are you on the right song?" asked Tash.
The Big Guy noticed Teela. "You okay?"
"My mind hates me. So it's trying to convince me the song is familiar. Gorram the thing."
The Accountants were drawing closer. "It makes a fellow proud to be-why as a kid I vowed to be- what luck to be allowed to be an Accontant!"*
"Obviously a Lehrer influence." the Big Guy joked.
They all looked at him.
"What?"
The Accountants pulled up to dock...
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*Of course, all due respect to Tom Lehrer, a wonderful man with wonderful music.
_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard
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"Uh...Hi!" Ebo said, grinning boradly, "Are you here to have a sing along?"
"No!" one of the pirate accountants shouted, "We're here to pillage, and plunder, and ruin all you're stock options! ARRGGHH!"
"Oh. Well then. Have fun with that." Ebo said and grabbed Teela's hand, dragging her away.
"Wait!" the accountant pirate jumped in front of them, "We're do you think your going?"
Ebo rolled her eye's and pointed, "That way. Have fun with your plundering." She turned past the pirate and dragged Teela by. Teela flashed a smile over her shoulder as she got dragged
away.
"Stop them!" the pirate yelled and a group of pirated grabbed them, Tash, and the Big Guy, and tied them to the mast.
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"When did this become not funny?"
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"How can you plunder when we have nothing? Just out of couriosity, of course, for you seem to be doing a fine job at...well, I'm not quite sure what." Teela asked.
"That's a good question. But I cannot answer that without a representative." one of the pirate accoiuntants replied.
"Well, fair's fair." Teela muttered.
Ebo was laughing in glee. No one looked at her, they were used to it by now.
The Big Guy asked Tash "How do we get out?"
"Well, usually, some random hero, heroine, diety, or act of something or other gets us out. What's it say in the script?"
"I have no clue. Wait, there was a script?"
And the accountants began lighting torchers and drawing closer.
And Ebo laughed on...
_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
Ebo laughed, "You guys can't kill us!"
An accountant grunted in amusement, "And why is that?"
"Well, you COULD kill us if you really wanted to, but is it worth the trouble?"
"What trouble?"
Ebo rolled her eyes, "Duh. Killing Americans in International waters is taxed. You have to pay 45% of all booty plundered to the american government."
He came closer, shoving his nose in Ebo's face, "There are ways around that."
"Sure, but you have fill a 34-p AND a 87-g fourm for each member of your crew. Not to mention finding someplace to convert you plundered gold, sliver and tea into american dollars with out really screwing up the exchainge rate."
The pirate gestured at another member of the pirate crew, "What if he kills you? He's not American. He's brittish."
Ebo sighed, "Thats even worse. You have to pay a 10% proccessing tax in adition to the origonal 45%"
"We could kill you and not report it."
"Ha! That'll never work! A jump in our gross anuanl income with out a career change or raise is total red flag for the IRS. They'll be all over you in an instant," Ebo snorted, "And you call yourselves accountants. At least your writing off all the money you spent on those charming outfits," she noted the calculator dangling from the pirates ear.
The pirates face fell, "You mean that..."
"You haven't been writing that off? How about the ship? Tell me you write off general matence on your ship," she noted their faces, "No? What kind of crappy accountants are you?"
Another accountant nearby smacked the leader, "I told you!"
"Told you! Told you!" mocked a parrot on his shoulder, "Write off Polly's crackers I say, but what do you say? Nooo..."
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"When did this become not funny?"
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"Shut up, you bird!" said the leader.
"Polly told you, Polly did. SQUACK!"
"What a nice parrot," remarked Tash sarcastically.
"It is," replied the Big Man.
"Oh yes," agreed Ebo.
"Has it occured to anyone that the rope is untied?" asked Teela.
"So it is," said Ebo. She went over and patted the bird's head.
"Who did that?" asked the Big Guy, who also patted the bird.
_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard
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"Bad rope, Bad rope," the parrot sqwaked.
The leader sighed, "Yes, it does that sometimes. Makes the general catching and threating diffucult at time."
"So," Tash said, scarching his head, "Are you going to chaise us or..."
"No," the leader sighed, "You can go."
"Oh wonderful!" cried a good pirate (you know, one of the nice, tea drinking pirates who's name i can't remember) "Would you like to join us in a tea cerimony?"
The acountant pirates agreed, and they all went below deck. This left the accountant pirates ship empty.
Tash whispered something in the big guys ear. He grinned and passed it onto the Hippi, who grinned and passed it along to Teela.
They grabbed Ebo and climbed into the Accountatns ship and sailed away.
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"When did this become not funny?"
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"What'd they say to you?" Ebo asked.
"What?" Teela replied, trying to remember knot tying class.
"What'd they say?"
"Oh. I believe it was along the likes of 'The spotted coukoo bird is flying backwards.'"
"Nope," said the Hippie. "It was 'It's a cold day fro plontooning.'"
"I said 'Ceader Lattice: works everytime.'" Tash commented.
"I thougt it was 'Johny Longtorso, the man who comes in pieces!'" said the Big Guy.
"Communication of the Modern Era. Always gets screwed up." Ebo remarked.
_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard
NOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
OOC: (they fuck you with the cell phones!) Teela your funny.
IC (or something like that):
"So," ebo said, looking around, "where are we going?"
"your island, wasn't it?" Tash said.
"Oh boy!"
"Where is your island?"
Ebo shrugged, "Somewhere off the coast of mexico."
"Mexico has a rather large coast."
"So?"
"So there are currents, winds, latuidues and logitudes to deal with to find our way there. Do you even no the co-ordanatns?"
"Nope. But I'm sure we'll make it eventually."
Tash sighed and stomped off grumbing about a GPS.
Ebo found a compass and took the wheel, "It's simple. I know that its off the west coast, and were in the pacific ocean. So we don't even have to go around Bottom America, or through Pan-land..."
Teela raised an eyebrow.
"...and west is that way. All we have to do is find the coast of mexico and go down it, looking for any small, partialy uninhabitied islands. I think mine is pink."
"Pink? I don't think that-" Teela was cut off by a sudden jarring. They ran to the bow and found they had run aground on a small, partialy uninhabeted island. They could just see the coast of mexico to the west. They could tell because it was wearing a large sombrero.
"Aww.. its not my island. This one is purple."
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"When did this become not funny?"
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