Take Turns Writing: "The Hippie and his Shotgun"

POSTED BY: Succatash
UPDATED: Friday, April 30, 2004 05:24
VIEWED: 17529
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VETERAN

Saturday, April 24, 2004 2:44 AM

The Big Guy said, "I don't know about anybody else but I'm hungry." He grabbed a rope and swung down onto the purple island.

The Hippie picked up a shot gun, grabbed a rope in the other hand and said,"I'm right behind you big guy." as he slid down to the shore.

Teela shouted, "Wait for me", looked around for a handy rope, and, not being able to find one, just hung and dropped from the bow.

Tash leap over the side landed with a nifty little roll ending upright on his feet. He looked back Ebo, now alone on the deck, and said, "I meant to do that."

Ebo shouted,"Wait, this isn't my island. It's purple." Realizing nobody was listening, she got of the boat and trundled down the beach after the others. The monkey followed.

TEELABROWN

Saturday, April 24, 2004 3:19 AM

"Nice monkey," said the Big Guy.

"What monkey?" the rest chourused.

"The nice one that's right behind Ebo." The Big Guy pointed.

Ebo turned around. "Nice monkey. I'll call you..." She ran through a list of names. "Monkey. Yes. Monkey. Come Monkey!"

The monkey climbed onto her shoulder.

Teela and Tash were looking around. "So, why do you think it's purple?" Tash asked Teela.

"Volcanic activity?" Teela pondered.

"Yeah, good guess. Hey, they're going."

"We should go then. Hey Ebo how do you get a pink island?"

"You see..." Ebo started to explain.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Saturday, April 24, 2004 4:16 AM

"...there was a sale on pink paint down at the local hardware store. I HATE pink. its a terrible color and whoever invented should be shot."

"I think you just implyed that we should shoot god," Tash mused.

"I don't care if John Lennon invented pink. He should be shot."

"Um, well he kind of already..."

"Anywhoo, I decided that if I didn't want to look at the color pink why would anybody else? To save other people the pain an heartbreak of pink I bought the whole lot and painted my island pink. Thats the story and-hey why did we stop walking?"

The hippie's eyes widened, "We've got some local color happening..."

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

TEELABROWN

Sunday, April 25, 2004 2:17 PM

"Hey, they're repainting the island!" Ebo said. "Aww, and I liked purple."

"That was anit-clamatic," Tash remarked.

"Whoa, like, deja vu," Teela replied.

Then they started to walk around, and they came up to a group.

The Big Guy started "Pardon me, but-" He was cut off when the group started worshiping him, and muttering something. Everyone else looked up, and they all started worshiping too.

The Hippie tapped The Big Guy. "What're they sayin'?"

"Beats me."

"Well then." Teela said. "Let's find that out, shall we?"

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

EBONEZER

Sunday, April 25, 2004 6:59 PM

Suddenly Teela's head started hurting, she started to fall but Tash caught her. "Whats wrong?" he asked.

"Its deja vu again. I can't help thinking this has already happened...and i keep thinking of blue hands and some guy named jeremy...Whats happening to me?"

The Very Important Historian 2.0 stepped out of the bushes.

"Didn't i kill you?" the Hippie grunted.

"That was my brother," the VIP 2.0 said, "I am a new and improved model."

"Whats better about you?"

He pulled a gun and shot himself in the chest, "kevar padding." he said, pulling his shirt up to reveal the bullet lodged in his chest, "In anycase, this felling of deja vu is perfectly natural because, well, this has happened to you before."

"what has? Pirates?"

"Accountants?"

"Pink?"

"No no, this bit about being warshiped. Something about going back in time, and almost falling off a cliff, and arrows. I'm a bit fuzzy on the details."

"So how did we get out of it?" Teela asked.

"I don't know."

"But arn't you supposed to be a historian?"

"Well sure but you can't be everywhere at once. There was a smashing good cricket game on the BBC that demanded my attention. Shame that the game was runied when a spaceship landed in the middle of the field..."

The big guy sighed, "Well, you've been no help what-so-ever."

"Can i shoot this one then?" the hippie said, already pulling his gun.

"Hey guess what!" Ebo shouted, "These people think were God! Its the second coming of the great Teela, and Big Guy they think that your some dude named Jeremy. There also threating to chop off Tash's head and put it in a pickle jar. Still trying to fugure that one out. Oh yeah and something about an apocolypse or something."

-----------------------------------

"When did this become not funny?"

TEELABROWN

Sunday, April 25, 2004 9:48 PM

Smashing Hitchhiker's reference Ebo!
__________
"Wait, wait, wait. I prefer my head on my shoulders, thank you very much," Tash told Ebo. Tash grabbed his head in protection.

"The Apocolypse!" The Big Guy shouted. "No, no, no. I like the world very much." And he grabbed a tree.

"Hey, you can understand them!" Teela shouted.

"Oh yeah. It's simply a slur of Celtic, Latin, and Babylonian. I mean, come on." Ebo told Teela.

"So, tell them that it's not the end of the world, we don't know who Jeremy is, and that Tash will not have his head removed."

"It's a little late, they're taking Tash away." Ebo said pointing.

"Wode tìan, it's a wonder you're still alive." Teela muttered, as she ran after them.

"Should I help?" asked the Hippie.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

SUCCATASH

Sunday, April 25, 2004 10:06 PM

The next few minutes were pure chaos. Teela stumbled and hit her head on a rock. She lay unconscious as they cut off Tash's head and put it in a jar.

Meanwhile, the Hippie and the Historian circled each other in a fight to the death.

TEELABROWN

Sunday, April 25, 2004 11:01 PM

Teela woke up. She didn't open her eyes, the sun was up there, and that HURTS! "Hiya!" a voice shouted. Groan. "Ebo..." she didn't know how to end that sentance.

"I'm not Ebo." The voice sounded hurt.

"Yossarian, leave me alone." Groan.

"I not Yossarian." The voice sounded even more hurt.

"Then who the hell are you?" Teela opened her eyes, and was greeted by a head in a jar. She shot up. "AAAAAHHHHH!! Where's your body?"

"It's me, Tash. You tripped. You have klutz genes."

"Don't remind me. Ugh."

"So, now I'm a head in a jar. These nice people cut it off. Did you know that thay actually do steralze their medical supplies? Very nice people really. Oh, and they want to give you something."

"As long as nothing gets cut off." The natives lead Teela to their villiage. One dressed in a doctor's lab coat brought out something green. "It's a jumpsuit. We ran out of red. It doesn't do much."

"Cool. I like jumpsuits."

Meanwhile...

It was the third try of the death match. First, there was a horrible cutting noise, and they couldn't do anything. Then there was this scream. Third try.

"Today is a good day for you to die!" shouted VIH 2.0.

"No you!"

Ebo looked over. "Can't you guys just be friends?"

"Because," they chimed together.

"Jeez. Okay, to make this fair, draw your weapons. I'll count paces, tell you when to shoot, and then yout turn around and shoot. One...Two..."

Something came crashing through the bushes, which interrupted Ebo's very nice counting...

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

SUCCATASH

Sunday, April 25, 2004 11:32 PM

The scary sound in the bushes grew louder.

In the confusion, the Hippie carelessly squeezed the trigger and his gun went off. Teela was accidentally shot in the neck.

She was seconds from dying. Ebo cried, "We must save Teela!"

Succatash bubbled inside his jar, "There is only one way. Teela must become a head in a jar, just like me."

Hours later, Teela and Tash smiled at each other inside their new Giant Sized Jar.

"Thanks for being my new roommate, Teela," said Tash. "It sure helps on rent. Now, we can live forever in paradise, and help save the world. Together."

Ebo looked jealous. She said, "Maybe I'll cut off my head too, I want to live forever, it looks like fun."

Teela and Tash looked at each other and smiled knowingly.

Meanwhile, the Hippie and the Historion 2.0 battled furiously, unaware of their surroundings.

Suddenly, the crashing sound in the bushes grew really loud and the Big Guy emerged with a roll of toilet paper in his hands.

"What's been going on?" he asked. "Did I miss anything?"

TEELABROWN

Monday, April 26, 2004 12:54 AM

The Teela head spoke up."Nothin' much. Tash became a head in a jar, I got a cool jumpsuit, then I got shot in the neck, and then I became a head in a jar, sharing with Tash."

"Okay..." The Big Guy was sad.

"Hey, what's wrong?" Ebo asked.

"Teela was my only friend. Now I'm alone again."

Tash saw this, and said hesitantly "You can carry the jar." The Big Guy brightened.

"And Ebo, living forever isn't all it's cracked up to be." Teela said.

"Really?" Ebo said.

"Uh, yeah." Teela was racking her mind for a non-depressing reason.

"Oh. Okay!" Ebo didn't reasons.

The death match, take 4, was still continuing. Outerworld: 3, Deathmatch: 0. All of a sudden, a chime sounded. "Oh, a Cricket match is on! Sorry, can we do this later?" A vortex opens, the VIH nods his head, and steps in.

"Bye!" Ebo waved.

"See you 'round! Tash, when and how do we pay rent?"

"Bye! Good question, workin' on it."

The Hippie grunted. "Chicken!" He shouts! A ball shoots out of there, grazing his head. "I heard that!"

The vortex closes.

_____________
"Freedom is the Freedom to say that 2 plus 2 make 4. If that is granted, all else follws"-Winston, 1984
Teela Brown, keeper of bad typing.
"No one reads these things any way."- Bart on Blackboard

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