Talk Story

names you should never give your kids

POSTED BY: boris
UPDATED: Tuesday, January 1, 2008 07:22
VIEWED: 25544
PAGE 10 of 10

Thursday, December 20, 2007 2:49 AM

I heard a parent calling out to her child the other day. the child's name was Spirulina. Why not just call her Kelp or Seaweed, or Parsely. eek!

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Monday, December 31, 2007 8:25 PM

I've always been rather amused by the name Arsenio Hall. Is he ever called "Arse Hall" for short?

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Monday, December 31, 2007 10:28 PM

I hate it when people name their kids after somebody in particular. A kid's name should be their own name, and not a leftover from someone else. Just imagine, a parent always saying "Now, you share the same name as so-and-so, and it's a hard name to live up to, so you need to blah blah blah."

I also hate people who name their kids __Jr. Hello, the kid is not an exact copy of it's dad or mom, and shouldn't be named as such.

Also, kids shouldn't be named stuff like Rose Thorn, or Brandy Wine.

I say try to avoid common names. In high school, there were four people in my grade that were named Ashley. Same spelling and everything. Also we had three Jessica's and two Rebbeca's.

And can you imagine naming a poor defenceless babe "Archibald"?

Naming kids (daughters) after flowers isn't too bad, I don't think.

It looks like I'm just picky about names, doesn't it? If I ever have a daughter, I'd name her Alexandria, after the library in Egypt, but I'd give her a nickname like Alexa or something so she has a name that's her own (and easier to say).

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Tuesday, January 1, 2008 12:04 AM

Not sure if this counts all that much, but in Orcherstra, I play next to a Bangladeshi kid, named Dickens. Strikes me as downright strange. Me and everyone else in the room, in fact. Even him.

-Danny

and every time I play with passion I start breaking strings,
and my voice cracks when I sing from my heart
guess that's the price I've got to pay to know that I'm alive
this melody is tearing me apart


THRICE RULES!!!!!!!!!
Gott weise ich will kein Engel sein.
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Tuesday, January 1, 2008 12:10 AM

Names like Robert and Jonathan for a boy aren't bad. Very common but with many variations and possible nicknames... Rob, Bob, Bobby, Robby, Bert.... John, Johnny, Jack..... Still there are enough of them so please stop. I led a hike with a dozen kids once and we had four Jonathans and three Williams, a Jacob, two Bobbies and a Daemon. That was just in one group of twelve eleven year old boys.

When naming anything, be it a child, pet, horse, car, etc... take time and consider various possibilities for nicknames. A name isn't just a name, look at most and the roots actually mean something. It's a serious deal and most people just don't give a flip or are just too screwed up to understand that naming a child after a body part or cheap food is not just dumb it's tasteless and demeaning.

That being said be creative. Most of the people who are going to taunt your child are going to find a way even if their name is "normal". The real thing you need to do as a parent is teach your child from a very early age that those people are the ones with the problem. As for family, if they say it's stupid they probably have a normal dull as a gray rock name and shouldn't be given the time of day when it comes to originality.

Ok that's all for my 20 something Bachelors Guide to naming your child. I was originally just going to mention the names I could remember of the kids on that hike but somehow it became this... go figure.

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Tuesday, January 1, 2008 12:45 AM

Oh I got a few:

Damien, Optimus Prime, Megatron, Apple, Seven, and my favorite: BDDDDDDDDD

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Tuesday, January 1, 2008 5:25 AM

Like the other teachers on here, I've heard more than a few unusual names but there aren't any that I would say you should never give to your kids. there are a few that I would suggerst you shouldn't give your kids lightly.

Probably the most unusual name I encounter commonly is ANZAC. In my 17 years teaching I don't remember there never being at least one person at my school called Anzac. What makes this name unusual is that it's an acronym for Australia/New Zealand Army Corps. Both New Zealand and our convict cousins have National holidays on 25 April to commemorate the landing of our troops in Turkey in 1915.

Translations are also a source of mirth with names. I taught a boy this year whose name was Ahi Kaa. This translates as "Home Fires." He must've liked the home fires a little too much as he was often truant.

He wasn't as often truant as Judas, I should note. That's right - I taught Judas.

I also taught a boy named River. River is not a girl's name - in fact it is not a person's name. It's the name of a flowing body of water. (He did really enjoy the Firefly unit I teach....)

Last year, I had not one but two boys named Cruz/Cruze. No-one in New Zealand speaks Spanish - they were named for what you do on a Saturday night downtown in your car.

However, easily the most improbable name I encountered was Riot. I kid you not - his parents named him Riot. And in case you think that's a fluke, his younger brother was called Chaos. As you might expect, Riot didn't last long at school so Chaos decided to enroll elsewhere when his turn came.

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Tuesday, January 1, 2008 5:38 AM

I have a coworker who is from New Zealand and Fiji (her family is from India) who's name is Vandita. Pretty name but no one here can remember it.

She's been call everything that starts with V (use your imagination)including VODKA by one lady.


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Tuesday, January 1, 2008 7:22 AM

I live in Australia where there seems to be a national tendency to mispronounce foreign names, simply because they are foreign, even if they involve the use of phonemes familiar to Australian English. My first name is Rosaria...that's rose + aria...how hard is that? apparently extremely hard, as my whole life people have gotten it wrong. I've had: Rosina,Rosetta,Rosanna,Azaria (that's a whole other story!) Rezairia, Rosemary etc. So I get people to call me Rose, there's not much you can do to bugger that up. except label me with the dreaded "Rosa" which I refuse to respond to.

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