what your cat/dog does that makes you want to kill it.

POSTED BY: boris
UPDATED: Sunday, October 14, 2007 05:29
VIEWED: 4964
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TINADOLL

Thursday, October 11, 2007 3:05 PM

Well my dog (Sandie...When she was alive)

Use to walk into the room,wag her tail and FART (loud and smelly) and then leave.

I miss her

SPACEANJL

Friday, October 12, 2007 10:08 AM

On the farting...the cat let fly a real belter the other day - and then turned and looked at my husband with that expression of outraged disdain that you so need the whiskers to carry off...

He also likes freshly washed cars. Then he can claw his way up the bonnet (hood) with muddy paws and curl up on the warm bit. Kinda like a mascot - the Spirit of Indolence, maybe. (Incidentally, this is not always our car.)

BSCPANTHERFAN

Friday, October 12, 2007 1:58 PM

I think the things we are writing about in this thread are just proving the old saying:

Dogs have owners, and cats have staff!

So who is he?
He's my husband.
Well who in the damn galaxy ain't!

WHISPER

Friday, October 12, 2007 2:53 PM

Ain't that the truth!

My cat, Drogyn, has me so well trained when it comes to food time. He knows just the thing to do to get me out of bed to feed him. He will paw at the drawer handles on the bedside table, making them clank and clack against the wood. Drives me insane! When I wake up to shoo him away, he'll back just out of reach, stare demandingly at me and meow as loud as he can. If I ignore him and go back to sleep, he does it all over again.

My youngest cat, gets what I call Kitty Krazies. He will at any time, puff his fur, dilate his eyes and run around like a bat outta hell. His signature move is to try to climb a doorframe! Seriously, he'll go and sit beside one and then boing! up the frame he goes!
This cat also fetches, but to the point it can be very irritating. If he brings you a toy, you better throw it for him or he will kill you with affection (headbutting, rubbing, and getting in the way of whatever it is that you are actually trying to do.) He will do this for HOURS on end. I call him my wannabe border collie!

FREMDFIRMA

Saturday, October 13, 2007 10:23 AM

Six, yes, count em, SIX cats.

Our second youngest, Squirmy, does the fetch thing, to exasperating degree, with milk rings, and here's the rub, if you deliberately throw it out of reach or she loses it (she's three legged and badly nearsighted from a near fatal car incident before we got her) she will STILL bring one back - apparently she keeps a stock of them under the corner of the rug behind the front door.

Ghoster is our eternal kitten, a big fat fluffy white poohead who loves to play, thus annoying the piss out of the more dignified cats, and curl up about your ankles, seems her highest aspiration is to be a pair of fuzzy slippers in her next life - she also sheds when nervous, and I don't mean a little, we're talkin full on explod-a-kitty to the point of the vet asking us through the cloud "Is this NORMAL for this cat ?".

Kallista is the cat version of Niska, or Brando, madame godfather, sits back and gets the others to do her dirty work - and has recently discovered she can open lever type doors, which most of our indoor ones are, by the jump and hang method - scary smart for a cat, to a downright creepifying degree.

Mostly it's the usual kitty annoyances, and heavens be how can puny little critters make THAT much noise charging up and down the stairs every morning at 7am...

And they start swarming with pathetic little starving kitty gigs when that food bowl hits about a third.

Worst of show would have to be Squirmy, if you're asleep when she wants to play, she will slam her little head into the back of your heel, and then holding it up against you, walk slowly up your whole freakin body till about your shoulders, and then turn around and do it again in the other direction... and if this fails, will begin to nip at exposed extremities, being especially particular to elbows, and not tiny front tooth nips, noo.. she'll run her side teeth into you so she can get some leverage in there and CHOMP.

If she wasn't so cute and adoreable, I'd throttle her.

-Frem

GORRAMNREEVER

Saturday, October 13, 2007 9:49 PM

I have 5 Feline Fur-Bearing Eating Machines....All named from characters in Pulp Fiction. All with different quirks. Dunno which is worse.....you tell me.

Grace: She likes to chunder at will...needs no inspiration or reason. Weighs about as much as a Racquetball....think she is Annorexic. Sleeps with one eye open, rather unsettling if you ask me. Call her name and she snarls like Billy Idol.

Brad: Flippin fat ass orange cat....20+ pounds....should have been named Silent Bob, but it didn't fit the trend. Another devout puker, however he eats his weight in Little Friskies then deposits said feast in kitchen area for our dining pleasure. Definitely Bulemic....needs a Cat Chow intervention. When Kitty Box is not to liking, drops human size dookies just outside box as if to say "Clean this joint human or I am eating you next"

Jodi: Definitely a Meth head......will tweak all night long while House Humans are trying to sleep. Bed doubles as backstretch at Talladega Motor Speedway and cat has been clocked at over 190mph....could probably win the pole in next race. Long black hair is normally a blur, sheds in flight...vapor trail of fur ensues. Not a puker, normally freebases Kitten Chow and spends next 2 hours pretending tail is on fire. Speed Kills!

Mia: Newest of the Clan....was seperated from milk producing unit at early age. I Couldn't sleep without a shirt for fear of waking up with a kitten welded to my man-boob! ~Creeeeepy!~ She is absolutely positive that everything is out to get her, to include shoes, towels, TV remotes, etc. Might be getting cocaine from tweaker kitty, would expliain hightened paranoia.....must look into this. Has no qualms about letting you know when she is hungry. Will make every attempt to crawl up your nostrils when you're sleeping to usher in the food delivery. Has a never ending vendetta against Methkitty and will attack with no advanced warning. Probably not good since tweaker is already on the edge to begin with. Do they have Kitty Valium?

Fabienne: (Outdoor Kitty) Not much is known about this inhabitant of the Outer Realms. Just showed up and staked her claim. Arrives for food, water and mandatory human attention then apparently disappears to fight crime under a super disguise....haven't seen a cape yet, but I will be watching. Used to have strays around the house, but since her appearance they have "disappeared". Could quite possibly have "Mob" connections and rival kitties have met with "accidents". Either scenario is plausible. Think the squrrels from the Pecan Union (Local 406) may have a plan to handle the outlander, seen having gatherings near the birdbath ....this could get ugly and escelate quickly. (note to self: install shutters)

There you have the "pride" that rules my house....I am merely allowed to live as a caretaker evidently. If they stop eating and puking for 5 seconds I may start to fear for my life.....I sense impending doom. ~activates distress beacon~

"Liberate Tutemet"

......I brought the Grenades.

CAPTAINCOUPI

Saturday, October 13, 2007 11:14 PM

Cat 1, Fredo, sits at the bottom of the stairs at 3am and yowls till you come to see whats up. Then runs off and hides. He's also a lover of climbing up the curtains and slowly ripping out the weave of the fabric.

Cat 2, Sonny, is a bit more simple, he's fond of getting ALL the cat toys out an leaving them strewn around the house. I packed away all of the toy mice the other day and within an hour they were all over the place again.

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BORIS

Sunday, October 14, 2007 3:56 AM

years ago I went with a friend to visit her Grandma. granny knew I was a cat person, and couldn't wait to introduce me to her cat Fluffy. so she went to get him, and my friend started giggling. I imagined the cat to be small cute and fluffy. Grandma knocks on the door and yells "quick let me in I've got him" she's huffing and puffing, I opened the door and sweet little lady was holding a mostly black cat the size of a Puma! she put him down and he sat next to her. then I got introduced so that he would know not to attack me! A few weeks earlier, two men had tried to burgle the house, and the cat took them both out! his preferred toys were used tires. you'd throw one across the yard, and he'd shred it. everyday Fluffy jumped over the fence next door, and would gently pick up the neighbours little dog and cat, and bring them over to grandma's house to sit in the shade, and share his water.

SWEETSERENDIPITY

Sunday, October 14, 2007 4:55 AM

Ok, some of y'all know my hellhound Zeke. 104 lb boxer, scourge of anything that moves in the neighborhood. Must bark at everyone, old ladies, babies, walkers, bikers, dogs, cats, squirrels, you name it. Likes to bark and drag the covers off of me and turn rugs over.

Max, 20+ lb long haired kitty, mean and evil. Chases my old lady kitty around causing screaming fights at all hours. Likes to jump into a small space under a corner table where my modem cords are...

Misty, my oldster at 18. Snobby about her wet food. Walks on my keyboard. Will pee in the shower over the drain if litter box is too full.

Not a one of the three can manage to puke on anything but rug. Wouldn't give any of them up.

Deb

BORIS

Sunday, October 14, 2007 5:29 AM

Our deceased cat Ellery, my best friend. He was only 13 when he died and even till the last hour of his life he shakily stood in front of the microwave so we would heat his milk..strange thing about that is that we never engaged in that practice. it was something a friend did for him for three days, and he lived in hope of it happening for the following two years! Ellery is credited in my family, for waking up human like emotions in me other than anger, I was kinda cold until he showed me how to work people. Pet therapy really does work.

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