150 Things you are Not Allowed to do at Hogwarts

POSTED BY: Cybersnark
UPDATED: Saturday, September 29, 2007 20:36
VIEWED: 2577
PAGE 1 of 1

CYBERSNARK

Thursday, September 20, 2007 2:08 PM

This sounds like a job for Fred and George.

http://www.matthewschocke.com/?p=59

Quote:
13. Staring a betting pool on the fate of this years DADA teacher is tasteless and tacky, not a clever money-making concept.
20. I will not call the DADA teacher Kenny, even if he is wearing an orange anorak.
22. I will not provide Luna Lovegood with Coast-to-Coast AM transcripts.
50. I will not take out a life insurance policy on Harry Potter.
60. I am no longer allowed to use the words "pimp cane" in front of Draco Malfoy.
69. First-years should not be encouraged to befriend the Whomping Willow.
101. I am not allowed to refer to Susan Bones, Hannah Abbott and Justin Finch-Fletchley as Blossom, Buttercup, and Bubbles.
108. I will not tell first years that they should build a tree house in the Whomping Willow.
110. I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.
118. I will not sing the entire Multiplication Rock series during Arithmancy exams.
132. I am not allowed to sing my own personal spy music while wandering the hallways.
133. I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to "Attack of the Killer Tomatoes."
138. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.
143. I will not sing "We’re off to see the wizard" when sent to the Headmaster’s office.

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We applied the cortical electrodes but were unable to get a neural reaction from either patient.

MSG

Thursday, September 20, 2007 2:24 PM

Ok that is hilarious and yet somehow wrong...

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

ZEROKIRYU

Thursday, September 20, 2007 4:17 PM

That is SO funny!!! These were some of my faves.

Quote:

3. Growing marijuana or hallucinogenic mushrooms is not “an extra credit project for Herbology”.
30. Remus Lupin does not want a flea collar.
37. There is no such thing as an Invisibility Thong.
57. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.
58. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda.
60. I am no longer allowed to use the words “pimp cane” in front of Draco Malfoy.
72. When fighting Death Eaters in the annual June battle of Good v. Evil, I
will not lift my wand skyward and shout “There can be only ONE!”.
81. Calling the Ghostbusters is a cruel joke to play on the resident ghosts and poltergeists.
91. I will not claim my X-Files tapes are “Auror Training Videos”.
110. I will not tell first years that Moon Prism Power is a basic Transfiguration spell.
145. It is not necessary to yell “Burn!” everytime Snape takes points from Gryffindor.
146. “Y’all check this-here shit out!” is not an appropriate way to announce
that you are about to perform an experimental spell.

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When snow melts, what does it become? Spring!!

MSG

Thursday, September 20, 2007 6:08 PM

Ok but where is

It is not ok to throw Snape to the floor and have your way with him???? ( sorry huge thing for Alan Rickman...)

"I'm not all that interested in the mental health of people who want to kill me. "- Leroy Jethro Gibbs

RIVERFLAN

Saturday, September 29, 2007 12:28 AM

Here are some (okay, all) of my favs:

Quote:

4. “I’ve heard every possible joke about Oliver Wood’s name” is not a challenge.
12. House Elves are not acceptable replacements for Bludgers.
23. I will not bring a Magic Eight Ball to Divination class.
58. Professor Flitwick’s first name is not Yoda
61. It is generally accepted that cats and dragons cannot interbreed and I should not attempt to disprove this theory no matter how wicked the result would be.
64. First years are not to be fed to Fluffy.
75. I will not put books of muggle fairy tales in the history section of the library.
79. I will not tell Professor Trelawney that I foresaw her death.
80. I will not use Slytherin and Gryffindor first years as Christmas decorations
88. I am not allowed to use silencing charms on my Professors.
92. When being interrogated by a member of the staff, I am not to wave my hand and announce “These are not the droids you are looking for”.
96. I will not follow potions instructions in reverse order just to see what
happens.
97. I will not claim there is a prequel to Hogwarts: A History that explains about Bilbo Baggins.
100. I am not allowed to introduce Peeves to paintballing.
105. I will not give Hagrid Pokemon cards and convince him they are real animals.
109. I will not douse Harry Potter’s Invisibility Cloak with lemon juice to see if he will become visible wearing it and standing near the fire in
the common room.
112. Bringing fortune cookies to Divination class does not count for extra credit.
133. I am not allowed to begin each Herbology class by singing the theme song to “Attack of the Killer Tomatoes”.
135. I am not allowed to paint the house elves blue.
143. I will not sing “We’re off to see the wizard” when sent to the Headmaster’s office.

And I think you're right, cybersnark, this is a job for Fred and George. I wonder how long it would take for them to break every rule? And how much money they would make betting on it?

And I think I'll enter some more ideas in there; just come and look at my comment

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My favorite quotes:

MAGDALENA

Saturday, September 29, 2007 12:45 AM

Quote:
Originally posted by msg:
Ok but where is

It is not ok to throw Snape to the floor and have your way with him???? ( sorry huge thing for Alan Rickman...)

Then that's not a rule - Oh Wow!!! That's not a rule!!!

*throws Snape down and has her way with him!!*

Not as big as my thing for Alan Rickman dear li'l sis!

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www.myspace.com/lady_magdalena
www.crazypurplewombat.blogspot.com

YINYANG

Saturday, September 29, 2007 1:01 AM

Quote:
44. I am not to Owl copies of the Evil Overlord List to suspected Death Eaters.

Anything that references the Evil Overlord List is cool in my book.

Quote:
57. I cannot Hadoken anything into oblivion.

And Nuklear Power.

Quote:
84. I am not allowed to lock Harry Potter and Draco Malfoy in a closet to see if hot gay sex will occur.

I concur. ::shudders::

Quote:
117. Voldemort is not Ganandorf, and the Triforce is not hidden in Hogwarts.

Zelda!

Quote:
138. I will not tell the first years that Professor Snape is the Voice of God.

I love that movie!

Quote:
140. I will not start food fights in the Great Hall.

I think this is the one to start off with, then.

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(Rules for voting - http://fireflyfans.net/thread.asp?b=2&t=30747&m=542683)

RIVERFLAN

Saturday, September 29, 2007 1:15 AM

Oops...

I've gone and suggeted that as a rule

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My favorite quotes:

FREMDFIRMA

Saturday, September 29, 2007 8:36 PM

151. This list is NOT a checklist of things you should try to annoy the Hogwarts staff.

*falls down and rolls on the floor in squealing giggles*

I get both ends of the Joke, as I knew of (but did not serve with) Skippy, and am personal friends with the Reverend Holy Hard Disk.

*falls back to floor laughing*

-F