Worst of the Worst - Contribute to The Most Awful Fic Ever Written

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Originally posted by jetflair:
There are two - Saffron mischaracterized as a Mary Sue who falls in love with the tender, loving thug and dies,

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woo-hoo! I got an idea in!! Just doing all I can to get that rating down to a one, jetflair!

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and Jetstream, who will be so perfect your eyes will bleed, but her heroic death will take care of that

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Hmm... jetstream... jetflair... jet...

OK, I know you already said it was a fictional you, but I had to point it out in case anyone misses it LOL!


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hmm-burble-blah, blah-blah-blah, take a left

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In case you run out of cheesy back stories:

Wash is actually a product of a previous Academy. They were attempting to create the perfect fighter pilot. They succeeded with Wash, but their behavior conditioning was not as advanced; the best they could do was give him a dinosaur fetish and horrible fashion sense. They finally just blanked his memory and set him loose out of embarrassment. Oh, and he's really Gabriel Tam's brother.

EDIT: Heck, ALL of the crew are Academy products released "into the wild" for study. They were all implanted with behavioral conditioning to seek out and join the crew of a Firefly-class transport, which is why all of them loved Serenity at first site. The exception, of course, is Zoe. She's secretly working as an Alliance psychology graduate student, monitoring the experiment.

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Feel free to go raid my fics for cliches and nauseating sentimentality. No, really.

I saw M/M slash listed. That would be Mal all by himself?

I MUST read this when it's done, because I want to snork my brain out my nose and suck it back in my ears from laughing so hard.

Cult classic "B" fic on the way, whoo-hoo!!!

We definitely need some gratuitous nekkid people. The whole gang gets drunk or somehow drugged (anybody remember STNG?) and has an orgy. That would take care of all the pairings!

How many saccharin declarations of eternal love can you fit into one work?

And you absolutely cannot intentionally include any humor, witty repartee, or truly sneaky surprises. There should be no traces of Joss ANYWHERE. Unless you can write it just like he would if he was sending up his own work.

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And alien abductions with rectal probes. Possibly enjoyed by the detainee(s) just to add to the shudder factor.

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Originally posted by schooner:
In case you run out of cheesy back stories:

Wash is actually a product of a previous Academy. They were attempting to create the perfect fighter pilot. They succeeded with Wash, but their behavior conditioning was not as advanced; the best they could do was give him a dinosaur fetish and horrible fashion sense. They finally just blanked his memory and set him loose out of embarrassment. Oh, and he's really Gabriel Tam's brother.

EDIT: Heck, ALL of the crew are Academy products released "into the wild" for study. They were all implanted with behavioral conditioning to seek out and join the crew of a Firefly-class transport, which is why all of them loved Serenity at first site. The exception, of course, is Zoe. She's secretly working as an Alliance psychology graduate student, monitoring the experiment.

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...ZOMG!!! *laughs so hard he falls off his chair*

Ok... if this DOESN'T somehow make it into the fic, someone PLEASE pick this idea up!!! It will be the one of the best fics I'd have the chance to enjoy, seeing as the most Awful Fic Ever Written will be on that list, just for pure laugh inducing/cringe inducing moments

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Originally posted by stinkingrose:


I saw M/M slash listed. That would be Mal all by himself?

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BADGER - cockney rhyming slang: Badger baiter.

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There should be no traces of Joss ANYWHERE.

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but badger y'see - joss - all joss...

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Originally posted by stinkingrose:
I saw M/M slash listed. That would be Mal all by himself?

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LOL - it *was* supposed to mean male/male....but thanks to you, it must now also mean Mal all by himself because your question made me laugh so hard!

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We definitely need some gratuitous nekkid people. The whole gang gets drunk or somehow drugged (anybody remember STNG?) and has an orgy. That would take care of all the pairings!

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No orgy (yet). But, lots of gratuitous naked people and sex running rampant through the halls of Serenity.

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How many saccharin declarations of eternal love can you fit into one work?

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Well, let's see.....at least six? Probably more. Jayne alone will be declaring it for SaffronMistiMarySue *and* Kaylee. Mal for Inara and the All-Glorious Jetstream. Simon for Kaylee.

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And alien abductions with rectal probes. Possibly enjoyed by the detainee(s) just to add to the shudder factor.

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Oohh, irresistible! Let's see, who on Serenity would most relish a good rectal probing? Simon?




"Love keeps her in the air...."

www.serenityverse.com/fffanfic - My fanfics
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