What's your best joke?
POSTED BY: EvilBungle
UPDATED: Wednesday, December 6, 2006 04:14
VIEWED: 13509
PAGE 4 of 6
Quote:
Originally posted by TPage:Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
Q: How do you keep a bunch of fools in suspense?
Uumm... not telling them the answer?
More like not having one.
Okay, time for a few more.
Q: What do you get when you cross a Unitarian with a Jehovah's Witness?
A: Some one who comes to your door for no apparent reason.
Q: What's the difference between an Irish wedding and an Irish wake?
A: There's one less drinking at the wake.
*******
RMMC
When we're down, don't frown. Come join the camp-out at serenitymovie.org.
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A guy walks into a bar with a alligator and makes an offer, "If anyone here pays me 50 bucks I will place my wenis into the gator's mouth and let it close dow gently for one minute." So a few people chip in and give the man 50 bucks. The guy does everything, and after one minute he takes an empty bottle and smashes it over the gator's head, causing it to release him. He than asks, "Now does anyone else here have the guts to try this?" A small voice in the back of the room says, "I'll try it, just don't smash the bottle over my head."
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Four rich guys are talking on a golf course, and one excuses himself to the restroom. While he is gone the other three chat amongst themselves about their sons. The first one says, "My sons has been doing well for himself, so well that he recently bought two cars for his girlfriend." The second one pipes up, "My son has done so well he recently bought a house for his girlfriend." The third, not to be outdone, says, "My son is so rich he bought a million dollar stock portfolio for his girlfriend." The fourth guy finally returns, and they ask him, "What about you, what has your son achieved for himself." To this he replies, "Well, I'm a bit disappointed to say that my son is gay, but nevertheless he has done well for himself. His last three boyfriends bought him two cars, a house, and a million dollar stock portfolio..."
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Okay. I just made this up messing around with my family, so I'm not quite sure if they're blondes, or valley girls, or what.
Person #1 (to Person #2): You're hungry. (or some other variant where you know what they're thinking or feeling)
Person #2: How did you know? Do you have EPSN?
Person #1: Yeah! How did you know?
Person #2: I have ESPN2 (too).
---
"What the world needs now is love, sweet love - it's the only thing that there's just too little of. What the world needs now is love, sweet love. No, not just for some, but for everyone."
http://richlabonte.net/tvvote - Vote Firefly!
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Two Irishmen walk out of a bar.
--Karel.
"Wondrous is our great blue ship that sails around the mighty sun and joy to everyone that rides along." -- Jeff Lynne, Electric Light Orchestra.
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An English man, an Australian, and a Scotsman are drinking in a pub. Three flies land in their beers.
The Englishman says, " Oh, bother!" , gets a spoon, fishes the fly out, and drinks his beer.
The Aessie says, " Crikey!", blows away the head on the beer, and the fly, and drinks.
The Scotsman looks down and shouts, " Spit tha' oout, ya wee devil!"
And an old favorite of mine, my daughter hit me with it tonight:
From Sanford and Son. Fred and LaMont are talking.
LaMont: " Pop, did you know that high blood pressure and heart disease are the number one killer of young black men?"
Fred: " No. I thought it was the PO-LICE."
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similar to the anti-humour joke above.
A man walks into a pub
ouch!
It was an iron Pub
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Two blondes walk into a bar -
You'd think at least one of them would have ducked.
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Quote:
Originally posted by RMMC:
More like not having one.
Hey, I've got an answer. A very good answer. You don't mind waiting a while longer for it, do you?
My favourite joke is one that you need to tell in person but here's the bastardised version.
What's this? (Hold out your hand, with your fingers curled up and your thumb touching them to make a loop, and go "Grrr! Rrrrarrrrgh! Grrrrr!"
It's a vicious circle.
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Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:Quote:
Originally posted by RMMC:
More like not having one.
Hey, I've got an answer. A very good answer. You don't mind waiting a while longer for it, do you?
Hey, I waited almost 20 years for Doctor Who to return, so yeah, I can wait a bit more.
Quote:
Originally posted by SimonWho:
My favourite joke is one that you need to tell in person but here's the bastardised version.
What's this? (Hold out your hand, with your fingers curled up and your thumb touching them to make a loop, and go "Grrr! Rrrrarrrrgh! Grrrrr!"
It's a vicious circle.
Then there's me who immediately thought it was the Mutant Enemy logo.
Q: Why do Scotsmen wear kilts?
A: Because sheep can hear zippers for a mile.
*******
RMMC
When we're down, don't frown. Come join the camp-out at serenitymovie.org.
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