What's your best joke?
POSTED BY: EvilBungle
UPDATED: Wednesday, December 6, 2006 04:14
VIEWED: 13509
PAGE 2 of 6
all my best jokes are about geordies
Geordie goes to for tea with the queen and the queen asks "would you like a scone or a merangue?" Geordie replies "no, yeh right pet, scone'll be fine."
Geordie is standing around by a crematorium when he approched by an american who asks "do you think anyone would mind if i went in and had a look around.
Geordies replies, "aye, but take your hat off and say nowt" and walks off.
Ten minutes later, Geordie is walking back and he sees the american on the pavement outside the crem. He asks what happened and the american replies "I went in, took my hat off like you said and there were all these people standing and crying. All i did was go over to one and ask "what's cooking?"
"did the titanic bend? No!"
http://www.myspace.com/muddy_waters
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LMAO, that was brilliant, Redlava!
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www.myspace.com/32dan32
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Two penguins are sitting on an ice floe. The first penguin says to the other penguin, 'Hey, it looks like you're wearing a tuxedo.' The other penguin responds, 'Who says I'm not?'
Ha, who says I'm not. Gets me everytime.
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Lol SpaceAngl I've heard that one but it's way too narsty for a public board here's a link to it though
. Yay South Park!
Beware the Giant Sock-Eating Purple Llama!!!
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I'm a fan of priest molestation jokes, and this is one of my favorites.
Father Michael is giving confession in his church one weekend. But after an hour, he has to go to the bathroom, as well as take care of some other papal business. He quietly ducks out of the confessional, grabs the janitor, and asks him to take over for him. "But Father, I'm a janitor", he replies. "I don't know anything about taking confession." "Oh it's the easiest thing in the world. Just follow this little pocket book, and you'll do fine." So Father Michael goes off and the janitor goes into the confessional and starts taking confessions. For a while, the janitor thinks this is pretty easy, until one woman comes in. She's sobbing hysterically and she can barely string two words together. After a while, she calms down as says to the janitor "Forgive me father, for I have sinned. Even though I am a married woman, I cannot help but give anal sex to strangers." Now this freaks the janitor out because it's nowhere in the book. He then quietly ducks out and grabs the nearest altar boy. He then asks the altar boy, "What does Father Michael give for anal sex?"
And the alter boy replies, "Last time I checked, three sodas and five lollipops."
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"We have five million Cybermen. How many are you?"
"Four"
You would destroy the Cybermen with four Daleks?"
"We would destroy the Cybermen with ONE Dalek. You are superior in only one respect."
"What is that?"
"You are better at dying."
Trash talk between a Cyberman and a Dalek. It doesn't get any better than that.
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Okay, you asked for it.
Why don't cannibals like to eat clowns?
Because they taste funny.
Don't say I didn't warn you. 
*******
RMMC
When we're down, don't frown. Come join the camp-out at serenitymovie.org.
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What does a West Virginia girl say when she looses her Virginity?
Get off me daddy yer crushin my ciggarettes!
St Patty's Day joke What's green and black all over?
A Lepercoon silly.
I like smacken em.
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You are going to hate me for this. To Bad.
Santa Claus comes down the chimney and places presents under the tree.
Just as he is about to leave a gorgeous woman wearing only a nighty enters the room.
"Oh Santa won't you stay just a little longer", she say.
"Ho Ho Ho its up the chimney I go", returns Santa.
The woman lets one of the straps of her nighty fall off her shoulder.
"Oh Santa please stay just a little while", the woman persists.
"Ho Ho Ho its up the chimney I go", repeats Santa.
The woman finally lets the nighty fall to the floor.
"Oh Santa I just want you to stay a little while", the woman insists.
Santa's eye bug out and he says,"Hay Hay Hay gotta stay, can't get up the chimney this way".
Happy Holidays Everyone;
Traveler
Traveler
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Quote:
Originally posted by Terri:
Two penguins are sitting on an ice floe. The first penguin says to the other penguin, 'Hey, it looks like you're wearing a tuxedo.' The other penguin responds, 'Who says I'm not?'
Ha, who says I'm not. Gets me everytime.
Dangerous Woman: But why is that funny?
G.K.: I guess 'cause people laugh at it.
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Tony Blair is on an official visit to a hospital in Edinburgh. His itinerary takes him through a ward where all the patients appear to be perfectly fit and well, with no signs of injury or illness. However, he decides to greet a patient, who replies:-
A fair fae ye honest sonsie face
Great cheiftan e' the pudding race
Aboon them all ye take ye place
Painch, tripe or thairm
A weel a wordie on ye grace
As lang's me arm.
He is rather puzzled by this, having no idea what the patient was on about so he just smiles and shakes hands, and moves on to greet another patient, who says:-
Some hae meat and cannae eat
And some nae meat that want it
But we hae meat and we can eat
And say the Lord be thank it!
Again, he's got no idea what the patient is trying to say, so again he smiles, shakes hands and moves on and moves on to a third patient, who says:-
Oh what a sleekie timorous beastie
Oh what a panic is in thy breastie!
Nae need to start away sae hasty
Wi' bicking brattle!
Now completely stumped, he turns to the doctor and asks "Is this some sort of mental ward?"
"Nae," replies the doctor, "it's the Serious Burns Unit!"
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