What's your best joke?
POSTED BY: EvilBungle
UPDATED: Wednesday, December 6, 2006 04:14
VIEWED: 13509
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At work and very bored, so I thought I would ask for your best jokes to help a fellow 'coat out!
Vote Day 1st December 2006 http://richlabonte.net/tvvote/index.html
Together we will triumph. 
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A man walks into a bar and says 'ouch!'
Know why??
Cuz he walked into a bar!
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What happens when you cross a river and a stream??
Wet feet!
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Why did the pervert cross the road??
Cuz he couldn't get his knob out of the chicken!
Hi-larious, I'm sure you'll all agree 
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Q. What do you get if you cross castor oil and holy water?
A. a religious movement.
( Thanx to Messr's Keilor and Altman. Bad jokes for me---)
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All of my best jokes are extremely racist.
So here's a not so good one.
A man walks into a bar with a giraffe. The giraffe hits it's head on the door and falls over. The man proceeds to have a few drinks, then when he gets up to leave, the bartender points to the giraffe and says, "Oy! You can't leave that lyin' there!", and the man says, "That's not a lion, it's a giraffe."
[chirp]
[IMG]
Place my body on a ship and burn it on the sea,
Let my spirit rise, Valkyries carry me.
Take me to Valhalla where my brothers wait for me.
Fires burn into the sky, my spirit will never die.
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A disgusting (yet equally rubbush) joke:
A homeless man runs into a bar, and asks the bartender for a cocktail stick, which he gives him, then quickly runs out. A few minutes later, another bum runs in asking for a cocktail stick, then runs out. Another few minutes pass, and yet another tramp runs in, this time asking for a straw. The bartender gives him the straw but asks "what's going on out there??", to which the tramp replys "someone's been sick outside, and all the best parts are going!"
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Okay I'm pretty sure everyone has heard this one but I'll give it a shot.
So there's a drinking competition going on at this bar, and the guy who wins breaks some "bar-record" they had for most beers drunk without passing out. They all start cheering "The Champion, the Champoin" and he y'know, leaves. He doesn't come back for a long time and people start to wonder where he went. One day he does come back, they've still got his picture up and nobody's broken his record. The bartender starts cheering and then everyone sees him and does the same. When the guy gets up to the bar, the bartender offers him a free drink to which he replies "I don't drink". The bartender laughs and laughs then tries again, but the guy says "Seriously, I don't drink". The bartender asks him why and he says "When I got home that night after the competition, I blew chunks for three hours". The bartender says "Well of course you did you were drunk, what did you expect?". Then the guy replies "No you don't understand, Chunks is my dog"
I think I told that pretty badly but yo get the gist of it. I love that joke but I'm pretty sure it's common knowledge by now.
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The "Earl" joke.
aka...
the "bubba" joke.
voshExeter
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Quote:
Originally posted by Gomithrous:
I think I told that pretty badly but yo get the gist of it. I love that joke but I'm pretty sure it's common knowledge by now.
Never heard it but I like it now too
Vote Day 1st December 2006 http://richlabonte.net/tvvote/index.html
Together we will triumph.
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The Aristocrats...
..."The Aristocrats!"
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George Bush was talking to a group of 3rd graders. Bush asks the class "Can anybody give me an example of a tragedy?"
A little girl raises her hand and says, "If a bus load of nuns and priests died in a car crash. That would be a tragedy."
Bush thinks for a moment and says, "That is more of an accident, a bad accident."
A boy raises his hand and says, "If my Mom and Dad both died of cancer, that would be a tragedy."
Bush says, "That would be a great loss. Your parents are probably very wonderful people and they would be missed."
Another little girl raises her hand and Bush calls on her.
"If Bin Laden blew up Air Force One with you in it. That would be a tragedy."
Bush smiles and says, "Great job that would indeed be a tragedy. How did you think of that one?"
The girl replies, "It wouldn't be an accident and it sure as hell wouldn't be a big loss either."
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