Museum Madness
POSTED BY: seryn
UPDATED: Wednesday, November 15, 2006 04:10
VIEWED: 3938
PAGE 1 of 2
I got this sent to me today, thought it might provide some light relief -
Quote:
So what's with all the dinosaurs?
The world's first Creationist museum - dedicated to the idea that the creation of the world, as told in Genesis, is factually correct - will soon open. Stephen Bates is given a sneak preview and asks: was there really a tyrannosaurus in the Bible?
Monday November 13, 2006
The Guardian
The Creation Museum's motto: Prepare to Believe.
Just off the interstate, a couple of junctions down from Cincinnati's international airport, over the state line in rural Kentucky, the finishing touches are being put to an impressive-looking building. When it is finished and open to the public next summer, it may, quite possibly, be one of the weirdest museums in the world.
The Creation Museum - motto: "Prepare to Believe!" - will be the first institution in the world whose contents, with the exception of a few turtles swimming in an artificial pond, are entirely fake. It is dedicated to the proposition that the account of the creation of the world in the Book of Genesis is completely correct, and its mission is to convince visitors through a mixture of animatronic models, tableaux and a strangely Disneyfied version of the Bible story.
Its designer, Patrick Marsh, used to work at Universal Studios in Los Angeles and then in Japan before he saw the light, opened his soul to Jesus, and was born anew. "The Bible is the only thing that gives you the full picture," he says. "Other religions don't have that, and, as for scientists, so much of what they believe is pretty fuzzy about life and its origins ... oh, this is a great place to work, I will tell you that."
So this is the Bible story, as truth. Apart from the dinosaurs, that is. As you stand in the museum's lobby - the only part of the building approaching completion - you are surrounded by life-size dinosaur models, some moving and occasionally grunting as they chew the cud.Beside the turtle pool, two animatronic, brown-complexioned children, demurely dressed in Hiawatha-like buckskin, gravely flutter with movement. Behind them lurk two small Tyrannosaurus Rexes. This scene is meant to date from before the Fall of Man and, apparently, dinosaurs.
Theological scholars may have noticed that there are, in fact, no dinosaurs mentioned in the Bible - and here lies the Creationists' first problem. Since there are undoubtedly dinosaur bones and since, according to the Creationists, the world is only 6,000 years old - a calculation devised by the 17th-century Bishop Ussher, counting back through the Bible to the Creation, a formula more or less accepted by the museum - dinosaurs must be shoehorned in somewhere, along with the Babylonians, Egyptians and the other ancient civilisations. As for the Grand Canyon - no problem: that was, of course, created in a few months by Noah's Flood.
But what, I ask wonderingly, about those fossilised remains of early man-like creatures? Marsh knows all about that: "There are no such things. Humans are basically as you see them today. Those skeletons they've found, what's the word? ... they could have been deformed, diseased or something. I've seen people like that running round the streets of New York."
Nothing can dent the designer's zeal as he leads us gingerly through the labyrinth of rooms still under construction, with bits of wood, and the odd dinosaur head occasionally blocking our path. The light of keenness shines from the faces of the workers, too, as they chisel out mountain sides and work out where to put the Tree of Life. They greet us cheerily as we pass.
They, too, know they are doing the Lord's Work, and each has signed a contract saying they believe in the Seven Days of Creation theory. Mornings on this construction site start with prayer meetings. Don't think for a minute that this is some sort of crazy little hole-in-the-corner project. The museum is costing $25m (£13m) and all but $3m has already been raised from private donations. It is strategically placed, too - not in the middleNOTIFY: Y | REPLY | REPLY WITH QUOTE | PERMALINK | TOP | HOME
You know I'm going to have to print that and read it on the way home!
Ta Seryn! hope the Dino's are still smiling up north 
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That was, in a word, beautiful. Awesome way to bring up and validate the argument from Clerks too. Gold star for you.
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I'll be in my bunk.
http://www.myspace.com/babywiththepower
http://members17.clubphoto.com/michael809717/guest-1.phtml
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Its my Geek duty.
Mr T - Oh, yes, they're still smiling big toofy grins, smug in the knowledge that they can prove they actually existed.
Isn't sanity really a one trick pony, anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking! But when you're good and crazy...ooh hoo hoo hoo... the skys the limit!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt
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I don't exist - you can't see me!
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it's good that they sent a reporter who was openminded and willing to hear the message, can't beat an open report that starts with "everything there is false"
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Vote Day 1st December 2006 http://richlabonte.net/tvvote/index.html
Together we will triumph.
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>> "...some of our donors are scared to death about nudity."
Do they shower blindfold?
>> A little licence is allowed, however, where the Bible falls down on the details. The depiction of a wall-sized section of Noah's Ark is based, not on the traditional picture of a flat-decked boat, but one designed by navy engineers with a keel and bows, which might, at least, have floated. "You can surmise," says Marsh. When you get inside, there's nifty computer software telling you how they fitted all the animals in, too.
Ah, so they're fixing the Bible. Good for them. Could somebody double check they've got all 1,500,000 known species on the ark? Ta.
>> if I was asked a question about the age of the universe, I answered from my knowledge of the topic, not my beliefs."
... he said without irony.
>> The Bible makes sense and is overwhelmingly confirmed by observable science. It does not confirm the belief in evolution.
It matches what primitive men could observe a few thousand years ago but now we can see so much more, we've explored so much further, it is plainly full of shit.
>> "I would give the same answer as Dawkins. He believes there is no God and nothing you could say would convince him otherwise. You are dealing with an origins issue. If you don't have the information, you cannot be sure. Nothing contradicts the Bible's account of the origins."
Or to put it another way: "I don't have to read alternative views because I'm never going to believe them. And by an amazing coincidence, nothing I've read contradicts the Bible."
Sometimes there's not enough mocking laughter in the world.
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Yes, that is a good point that he gets the word fake in there before detailing the museums aims - its a sneaky way to get the reader thinking the way he wants, but theres also the fact that there isn't a single 'authentic' item in there.
If they had a peice of the ark, or you know, anything, in there relating to the origins of the bible story, the reporter might have given it a chance.
If they'd approached it with any sense of sanity, they'd have focused more on why people belive what they believe, where it came from, who wrote the thing, how did they intend it to be interpreted, why is it so convincing (to them at least) they would have earned themselves more respect - honestly, as someone who detests organised religion i could have done more to sell fundamental biblicism or whatever its called to the great unwashed than they could with their dino and computers based kiddie entrapment. But as its basically 'Bible! The Ride!' With Real animatronic fake things! And no nudity! (yep sireee - nothing so dirty and depraved as a real human being in this here wholesome fairground attraction!)
Really, it has all the initial credibility of one of those mermaid things they used to sew together and put on display in travelling circuses.
Oooooh, yet another neat seague into a scene from Firefly.
Really, Firefly has the answers to everything. I think, based on the visual companion, we should make Browncoatism a religion and build a pile of crap dedicated to it.
Sorry sweetie, right after 'item in there.' it stopped being a reply to you and just decended into a rant.
My profuse apologies.
Isn't sanity really a one trick pony, anyway? I mean all you get is one trick, rational thinking! But when you're good and crazy...ooh hoo hoo hoo... the skys the limit!
http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt
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PT Barnum knew the way long ago, he said "Always give the sucker what he wants." Or something like that. That's how he made money, convincing people he had put together the greatest show, the greatest entertainment mankind would ever see. It was the perfect con. It was so perfect that people wouldn't leave his tents and in order to get the people out and others in he came up with an ingenius plan by putting up a sign that said This way to the great egress. which was just another name for exit. People fell for it.
I make the comparisons because this sounds like a scam to me. Oh I'm sure they believe they're doing God's work but if they ever READ the Bible they'd remember that one part where Jesus kicked ass when they turned the Temple into a supermarket. In other words Jesus does not like people making money off of his teachings and faith, yet all I ever read from these Bible thumpers is give me, send me, for only a small donation you can find yourself up front in the Kingdom of Heaven (and I can afford that Ferrari and those hookers I've been wanting)
As a Catholic (don't call me christian tanka) this offends me, my faith, and my belief. In my youth I went to Catholic school and Church and I can assure you Creationism was never shoved down out throats, believing in Evolution never made you a follower of the devil, and the only people who had that kind of money were the snooty rich kids that shoved the fact in your face.
Re-found their faith? Is that like re-gifting? Sounds more like people who never made it big in their fields and found a demographic that they could exploit. Of course their were fuckin' dinosaurs, of course there was a progression of evolution, the Verse can be explained. You take the stories in the Bible as metaphors, not reality, and you can be a believer in science and religion, but until nutjobs (from both sides thank you very much) admit there's a place for both we're going to be seeing a lot of these quasi faith wars. *sigh* Can you tell people like them piss me off a little?
Makes me ashamed to be Catholic. If I'm a bitch, then life just got interesting
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Quote:
Originally posted by Misstressahara:
In my youth I went to Catholic school and Church and I can assure you Creationism was never shoved down out throats
Ah, reminds me of my youth when I was stoned by the Catholic children while they screamed "Heathen! Heretic!" because I didn't worship the Crucifix.
I guess every church has its quirks.While I don't believe in Creationism (I'm not even Christian anymore), I would be willing to part with ten dollars just to see the animatronics. Realistic enough to scare the kiddies? I'm there!
If you can't do something smart, do something right.
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