Who Here Masturbates??
POSTED BY: Calhoun
UPDATED: Sunday, February 11, 2007 23:41
VIEWED: 22462
PAGE 10 of 12
ROFL...Funny shit Calhoun
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Funniest Thread I have read in ages, thanks.
As to the question, No Comment!!
As to the comments and fighting,
The Price of free speach is such. "I don't agree with what you say, but I will die to protect your rigt to say it." but personal attacks achieve nothing.
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Quote:
Originally posted by singate:
I've seen a lot of good euphemisms for the act. My personal favorite is 'roughing up the suspect'.
Mine is "shaking hands with the unemployed".
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Quote:
Originally posted by Calhoun:
Come on! I know there are some wankers here.. I've read the posts.
You have no idea! ... And you never will.
N.B. The "Imponderables" invariably wind up talking about sex, too. But at least they allow for a suspension of disbelief. Something in the 'verse went bankrupt, it seems.
--
"Mei-mei, everything I have is right here." -- Simon Tam
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ok, I couldn't resist...
on the topic of masturbation being immoral...
try healthy. men can develop Testicular cancer
if their prostate isn't excersized. so would you
rather there be an outbreak of cancer and have
men around the world die a horrid and painful death
instead of making themselves feel good? or would you rather
them replace it with sex and have another 1969 with everyone spreading STDs everywhere...go ahead you choose...
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You know 95% of people admit to masturbating & the 5% which don't admit are lying it's true.
---------------------------------------------------------------------
Things are about to get interesting...Define interesting...Oh GOD oh GOD we're all going to die.
Go to
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I'm the 5 time Fist of Fury champion. ROFL!
Self Gratification Kills Kittens, and sometimes puppies.
http://www.geocities.com/neo_ultimate_d - The Homepage
http://www.myspace.com/eldusto - The Myspace page
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Quote:
Originally posted by babywiththepower:
Well, this topic really belonged in "Talk Story" and not where it's at, but there's no harm in it.
Fact of the matter is that the only people that don't are either unichs, comatose, dead, and/or have no hands. It's completely natural and nothign to be ashamed about. *****Hell, 90% of the people that do masturbate do it (at times) to calm there nerves rather than for any sort of sexual gratification*****. I'm sure you all know what endorphins are and the effects they have on the human brain. It's nothing to be offended about, and if you are, then you might have some growing up to do.
that is the sanest thing I've heard all week. You are absolutely right, as our stress levels go up, our need for this kind of release goes up as well.
It has nothing to do with whether we are misanthrops, anti-social, irreligious or any of the other 10 cent arguments you might hear on the subject. Perhaps some people can manage stress without it....GOOD FOR THEM!
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Hello, my fellow Browncoats, and most especially Rio:
Regardless whether the original post was intended allegorically or not, the subject is a worthy one, of significance to both Firefly and human sexuality in our society. So I'd like to respond. But first, a little background music, from Monty Python's "The Meaning of Life", as found on Monty Python's Completely Useless Website:
Quote:
Title: Every Sperm Is Sacred
From: Monty Python's The Meaning of Life
Transcribed By: unknown
There are Jews in the world, there are Buddhists,
there are Hindus and Mormons and then
there are those that follow Mohammed -but-
I've never been one of them.
I am a Roman Catholic
and have been since before I was born,
and the one thing they say about Catholics is
they'll take you as soon as you're warm.
You don't have to be a six-footer.
You don't have to have a great brain.
You don't have to have any clothes on, you're
a Catholic the moment dad came
...Because...
Every sperm is sacred,
every sperm is great,
If a sperm is wasted,
God gets quite irate. (2x)
Let the heathens spill theirs,
on the dusty ground.
God shall make them pay for
each sperm that can't be found.
Every sperm is wanted,
every sperm is good.
Every sperm is needed,
in your neighborhood.
Hindu, Taoist, Mormon,
spill theirs just anywhere
but God loves those who treat their
semen with more care.
(misc choruses)
Every sperm is useful,
every sperm is fine.
God needs everybody's,
mine, and mine, and mine.
Let the pagans spill theirs
on mountain, hill and plain.
God shall strike them down for
each sperm that's spilled in vain.
(misc. choruses and finale)
While there are in fact numerous references to the masturbatory act in Firefly, the one nobody has mentioned thus far is perhaps the most applicable to the question of morality. From "Objects in Space" (as taken from the shooting script at twiztv.com):
Quote:
River comes into the hallway, touching the walls as she goes, looking at her hands. She finds BOOK and JAYNE, also in mid- conversation. Jayne is cooking scallion cakes on the griddle. Book is at the table.
JAYNE
So, like... never?
BOOK
Well, no.
JAYNE
Not ever never?
BOOK
Some orders allow Shepherds to marry,
but I follow a narrower path.
JAYNE
But, I mean, you still got the urge,
right? They don't cut it off or
nothing...
BOOK
(smiles)
No, I'm more or less intact. I just
direct my energy elsewhere.
JAYNE
You mean like masterbatin'?
BOOK
I hope you're not thinking of taking
orders yourself...
JAYNE
That'll be the day.
During all this, River wanders unnoticed right between the two of them. She turns to look at Jayne, who looks back guiltily.
JAYNE (cont'd)
I got stupid. The money was too good.
She turns, looks at Book, who is in her face, fiercely angry.
BOOK
I don't give half a hump if you're
innocent or not! So where does that
put you?
JUMP CUT back to reality -- the men are laughing, Book still sitting, and River has walked between them unnoticed. She heads to the foredeck hall as the men continue:
JAYNE
It ain't impossible! Saint Jayne,
It's got a ring to it.
BOOK
I'm just trying to remember how many
miracles you've performed.
JAYNE
I once hit a guy in the neck at five
hundred yards with a bent scope,
don't that count upstairs?
BOOK
Oh, it'll be taken into
consideration...
JAYNE
Well you make that sound kinda
ominous...
Interesting to note, at least to my way of thinking, is the juxtapostion of Book's beliefs on the sex act, whether with others or solitarily, and his venomous, "I don't give half a hump if you're innocent or not..." He is consciously speaking with Jayne about the specific subject of his vow of celibacy, while simultaneously using the expression 'half a hump" subconsciously... Outwardly, he is expressing his devotion to a loving and caring God, while subconsciously denying the principle tenet of Jesus' teachings: Love others without judging them, without condemni
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Ok, I've been silent up until now because I hate conflict, but I feel there really is a side of this "debate", if you will, that has been sorely ignored.
Our natural, healthy urges are for sexual fulfillment- from sex, through a relationship. If we were supposed to naturally masturbate, God would have somehow given women penises for hands and given men, I don't know, something, well, I don't know- It's a creepy thought. I just read this a few weeks ago and I thought it was a great summary. It's from Stephen Arterburn's Addicted to Love:
Quote:
Compulsive masturbation, built on fantasy (and/or) pornography, is an espace from intimacy. A person who is a compulsive masturbator will be unable to experience genuine intimacy. Sex becomes a one-sided process of self-gratification. The addict would rather masturbate than take time to develop a relationship. Expecting marriage to eliminate the drive to masturbate, the addict soon finds that intimate sex is too much trouble and returns to the compulsion.
Everyone needs to be nurtured, to feel loved, to feel love toward another. But love is risky. Love holds the possibility of rejection or disappointment. The masturbator finds it easier to fall back on self-gratification. What seems to many like a harmless habit becomes a trap that blocks out others and forces the addict to suffer alone.
I'm not saying it is the worst evil a person can commit by any means, but I have seen it hurt relationships time and time again- including my own.
And, Zoid:
Quote:
"In the words of my Lord, who forgives us for being human 'animals':
"My grace is sufficient for you, for my power is made perfect in weakness." 2 Cor 12:9
Ok, while that is so very true, incredibly beautiful, and even hard to fathom at times, it does not stop there by any means. God doesn't just tell us not to do stuff because he wants to be mean- He KNOWS that the things we call "natural urges," if gratified in counterfit ways, can hurt us, hurt our relationships, and hurt our self-perception. He only says, "No" to protect us in the long-run.
Ok, I'm sorry, folks, for the rant. :) I have never done this before, but I just hate it when the minority is misunderstood.
~Natalie :)
"Can't take the sky..."
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