Male and Female Imponderables- real wild children
POSTED BY: msg
UPDATED: Friday, October 6, 2006 22:31
VIEWED: 18065
PAGE 7 of 14
Well, I find my own name pretty boring and bleh, so if I marry someone with a more interesting name I am *so* changing it!
More animations available at www.desktophippie.com - yes, I've moved!
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I'm trying to work out what will fit on a dustcover better - y'know, for when the author name gets printed bigger than the title, kinda thing. Also, there's the whole signature deal 
Thank you. Me and my ego will be here all week. Try the veal...
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Hi Imponderers! I love this topic! ...these topics...
Marriage - the main reason I never got 'handfasted' is that I didn't find the qualities in someone that I felt wouldn't irritate and frustrate me forever - there was always something 'key' missing... but I am a relatively easy going person so I assume I haven't met the 'right one'... or at least haven't been in the position of considering him...
1) mutual respect - it is much more than caring for someone - it is about trying to undertand and being patient when you don't - both parties have to work at this!
2) communication - talking about everything and nothing - making sure you know where your thoughts are heading... sometimes before they are heading there!
3) Total fidelity - the flirting is one thing, and it can be fun - the 'cheating' in ones' mind and heart is another - I have been cheated on in several different ways and they all suck! When I am in a relationship I do not allow myself to indulge in feelings for someone else - and, yes, there is a degree of self control & choice in the matter!
4) sexual compatibility - I have tried to teach someone I cared about what I wanted and he was too insecure to realise it wasn't a comment on his 'inability to satisfy me'! I love to touch & feel & hold hands & it frustrates me to have a guy push me away like it's an embarassment or a annoyance! I would like to be sure we were able to sustain the lust part of the relationship too...
5) commitment to hard work - this might be the biggest reason that I have not found that 'one' - though it saddens me to admit it. I would love to be married with a passel of children but I have not even remotely found someone who is willing to go the hard yards! All of the above take commitment and work - but nobody live the 'fairy tale' and there is so much involved in making a relationship work - especially for life! I guess I have seen too many of my friends give up at the first sign of difficulty to think that it would be easy! (& believe me - I don't think I would be a picnic!)
Hmmmmmm... names - my sister is actually in a long time de facto relationship but as far as she, her partner and all the family are concerned that is a marriage! She decided to change her name legally in order to avoid confusion for her children whom she felt should have her parteners last name - she and my 'chosen brother' are in one of the hardest working and commited marriages I have ever witnessed! I would also change my name because, quite frankly, my own surname is a little 'blah'!
And in a fire - I would have to save my family history research, notes etc. and my extensive photograph collection - I am an avid photographer and have yet to purchase a digital camera - so there are albums and albums and negatives (& albums) boxes of research and did I mention albums?
...is that all?
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Morning, all!
Ok, I lied...I'll never be able to catch up to this thread. Oy!
PR, I have always been more interested in fidelity of mind than of body. To me, an SO just having sex with someone else is a more fogiveable offense than falling in love with someone else. Don't get me wrong, the sex thing would be infidelity and would end the relationship, but the falling in love with someone else would cause a total loss of respect for the SO...and that is what happened.
Magda...why is it again that you are halfway around the world?!? *sigh*
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Morning all- Ok this is so going to be one of those days. First I was late to school. Then we have a lock down drill during my prep so I don't get all the stuff I needed to done. Then a fight breaks out in my 2nd period. OK argh!!!! Rant over:)
EDIT- oh and lucky little arachnephobic me I found a spider in my room and now I don't know where it's gone so there's a whole day of nervousness
Anyway, hope you're all having a fine morning filled with joy.
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2
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Mornin' everyone. Busy as usual, but the silver lining emerges.
Possibly deer hunting this weekend. Traded the Cougar for another Ranchero. And I just saved money on my car insurance. I guess things are shapin' up.
Hope I didn't jinx it.
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MSG - I hope your day improves! Silly kids - fighting! They need Jayen to whack `em in the head!
About the last name thing - it isn't about whether I choose my father's name or my husband's. My last name is MINE, not my father's. No matter where it came from, it's been mine all my life. It identifies all the things I've done - it's on my thesis, my publications, all my financial and medical records... I have no desire to separate myself from all that. And no energy for changing it officially, LOL!
Besides, it's a cool name. I'd possibly feel different if it was a crappy name. 
About marriage - I am pretty disgusted with the whole history of it, and I find the idea of marriage not so applicable to my life. I mean, it's based in religion and a completely different social system and gender power dynamic - all of which give me the willies.
As far as committing to the man I love, I can do that without standing in a church and having an official sheet of paper. This is just me though - I have no problem going to other folks weddings and being very happy for them.
I must admit though - the idea of getting to wear a pretty dress (I'd want to do something cool and renaissance-y, not a white lacey fluffy thing) and have a big party and get all my friends drunk and have them bring me lots of cool kitchen gadgets and stuff...
Somehow, I like all that.
Touching - I sooo agree PR! I love the touching! I was single a long time, and I was craving it! Now I can't seem to get enough of the little touches. Luckily, my new guy loves it too. We're like an old married couple already, I always have a hand on his shoulder while he's driving, stuff like that.
I can't figure out my sin. It might be sloth, which sounds weird considering all my activities lately...
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I'm the president. I don't need to listen.
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*removes all jinxes by sprinkling fairy dust*
Have a great weekend, NVG. Enjoy the great outdoors! Be at one with nature! Then shoot it.
Magdelena - I think your mix for a good marraige sounds perfect 
More animations available at www.desktophippie.com - yes, I've moved!
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Mal- well sounds like you're happy and that's all that matters...however you could have a committment party and do the fancy dress and good food/presents thingy:)
NV- wow cool on the exchange/ lower insurance thing. Saving money is always nice. Good luck on the deer hunt and thanks for saving some poor deer from horrible death by starvation ( I am serious as with deer overpopulation and winter coming that's the fate in store for most)
I choose to rise instead of fall- U2
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King of the Mythical Land that is Iowa