General Discussions

Male and Female Imponderables- real wild children

POSTED BY: msg
UPDATED: Friday, October 6, 2006 22:31
VIEWED: 18065
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Monday, October 2, 2006 4:38 PM

laughter. I couldnot be married to a person who had no sense of humor.


***************
Never do anything you wouldn't want to explain to the paramedics.
98% of teens have smoked pot, if you are one of the 2% that haven't, copy this into your signature

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MSG
Monday, October 2, 2006 4:44 PM

hmm well we've missed you too NV:) Hope you had a good weekend though. You've seemed very busy recently so I hope you got a chance to rest over the weekend. Also, how's the GND situation??? nudge nudge wink wink know what I mean ( sorry just saw Monty Python stuff)

oooh I can't imagine being married to someone with no sense of humor...that'd suck SBDB:)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2


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Monday, October 2, 2006 4:47 PM

Quote:

Originally posted by msg:
So to ponder- What 5 qualities do you think make a good marriage?

Mine are ( in no particular order)
1-Respect for each other
2-Forgiveness
3-Passion
4-willingness to compromise(or see the other's point of view)
5-Willingness to keep trying and not give up on each other



Wow, those are good. I'm new to the relationship thing, but I'm seeing how important those last two are. The first three seem more obvious to me, but I'm thinking 4 and 5 are what makes it really last.

So I guess I just agree with what you got there!

-----------------------------------------------
I'm the president. I don't need to listen.

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Monday, October 2, 2006 5:00 PM

Nothing. Friends. I think its better that way. Trying to keep from me and my and I today, but I think my has failed.

So, I just want to run away again. There are alot of short trips and tons of work coming up soon. Got to shoot this weekend and I'm still in tunnel mode for no reason. Thinkin' I might have some crossed wires.

So, I just need to find someone who hates playing Male/Female games. Sure Yatzee and Monopoly night have to stay, but who's got time for the other games. Just irritated watching others playing the stupid games.

Kinda glad it ain't me.



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Monday, October 2, 2006 5:28 PM

I was pondering, as I walked across Atlanta today, what the man I would even consider marrying might be like. Opportune time for such a thread.

I think MsG has the key elements, from perserverence and compromise to honesty and respect. But I think there is also a mystical element unique to every marriage/relationship. For instance, you see your friends/relatives getting married and you just don't see what they see in the other person - there is something that matches, something that compliments... Can't put my finger on it, but then again, that's why I don't date.

My biggest issue is children. I am absolutely under no circumstances going to give my children anything but my last names (I've got two, so no room for that extra middle name thing). It's impossible to start a first date with said qualification (jumping the gun a wee bit), but man. I imagine it will be the true challenge of any potential future long term relationship I might have. (awful lot of qualifications there)

I don't like the games either. The one true love of my life...well, we actually met online, when I was 15. By the time I was 17 we were living together and by the time I was 20 he had died. Five years we spent traveling the world and working out who we were. And we didn't play games. That was the beautiful thing. We had our conflicts, of course, but there was no puffing of feathers or pretending not to care or what have you. After that I had two relatively long term relationships, both of which I "attained" by playing the game (well) and both of which meant nothing to me.

Sorry for the rambling. I guess I would have to say that for me, the key element is the ability to be straightforward. Not just honest, because you can be honest and still hide things, but a) being able to differentiate between things that need to be addressed and things that are just petty and b) the ability to be totally upfront about those serious issues. I'll shut up now.

I'm very smart.

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Monday, October 2, 2006 5:45 PM

For a ramble it was very well executed.
See, this is what I've been saying for a long time. With the span we have there should be a limit to the games we play. The time spent with someone should be open and honest. Sure, there is a certain amount of us that is lost, but that should not hinder the potential of our relations with others.
Admittedly so, I have the shadow of things past I wish to divulge to no one. But to those I have told they seem to love and respect me more.

KInda funny the complex I've developed lately. I can't stand compliments. Thanks to everyone who humored me last week and yanked my chain a bit. Helped me get through the weekend with a little smile.

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MSG
Monday, October 2, 2006 5:52 PM

NV- since I suck at games ( the male/female kind) I completely understand. I am so not willing to waste one second pretending to be or feel anything I don't. too big a hassle and too hard to remember what you are supposed to do and say as this mythical person you aren't...as for the flirting games, now those I love!!

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2


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Monday, October 2, 2006 6:05 PM

Okay, thats a wholly acceptable game. For the most part.


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Monday, October 2, 2006 6:10 PM

When Husband asked me to marry him, he did it by bringing up a line from a musical- I think it is Oklahoma!, where the man asks the father to marry his daughter.

Father: Do you like her?
Man: I love her!
Father: No, son. I mean do you like her?

Husband said to me as he gave me the ring. "I don't just love you, I like you."

I think liking your partner is just as important as all of the things MsG said - he and I are friends, and we genuinely like each other. Passion is great, but passion itself cannot keep a relationship afloat. There has to be, more than a core of respect, but a core of like.
Besides, for most people, when kids come on the scene, passion is the last thing on your mind.


"Have you ever been with a Warrior Woman?"

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MSG
Monday, October 2, 2006 6:29 PM

hmmm interesting Mavoureen:) see I can't respect someone if I don't like them so I didn't think to put that in, but you make a very wise point:)

NV- again were I not wed I'd definitely take you...( fill in the blanks here)

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2


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