Male and Female Imponderables - If music be the food of love, play on

POSTED BY: PhoenixRose
UPDATED: Wednesday, July 26, 2006 13:04
VIEWED: 18177
PAGE 14 of 16

PREV PAGE 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 NEXT PAGE

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 10:36 PM

Whitefall, mothers are not mind readers. Should she have said Gee your eye looks bad, lets get some drops - sure BUT YOU should have said, mom, my eye really hurts.

But rant away. I always tell my 47 kids - you can be as pissed at me as you want, and you can slam any door you please - but you better be doing what I told you to do while having your tantrum.

one of the Forsaken TM

NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 10:50 PM

FMF is the coolest. She is right. Sometimes a parent is distracted by whatever and their "reading" abilities get clouded.

Can you explain the 47 kid thing. I've had (thinks) 250+ kids and maybe twenty five of them I'd actually gotten close to. But you are an actual parent and have found time for all these kids? That ia quite incredible.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"

SERYN

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 10:59 PM

***acessing inner teenager***

If it helps i have the same gripes when it come's to my family - my father is a better teacher than dad - he's about as demonstratively affectionate as an ironing board. My mother is the one person in my life who makes me feel bad about myself and the way i look, and i can spend about three days in close contact with my sister before i want to start clawing her eyes out - and i know that she feels the same. And its always been that way - i moved out of home at 17 because i couldn't take it any more.

The problem is a very teenagery cry of 'they just don't get me!' and they don't - my father comes from a f****d up family, my mother isn't happy with her size and can't grasp the fact that i might just be. and my sister has no sense of humor - or at least, no sense of my humor - she takes everything so very seriously, when i never say or think a serious thing if i can possibly avoid it, which results in so many lectures when i start up with the jokey devils advocacy and sarcastic tirades.
About the closest i am personality wise to any member of my family is to my brother - and most of the time he behaves like an ungrateful freeloading git, so i fight with him too.

The basic point of all this is to say that your family members are never ever going to be what you want them to be... thats why you go out and choose friends. They are never going to act exactly how you want them to, but they will still love you - i know that my father does, even though it only takes the form of asking how school went or if i have any jobs lined up - i know my mother does, shes trying to get me to 'help' myself. and i know my sister does.

I think.

but whatever, you have to stop thinking in terms of 'they should act to suit me', and more, 'well, how do they work?'

and that was a bit of a lecture, but its a valuable lesson that i was forced to learn, so i'm determined to make others learn it. and suffer... bwah ha ha ha haaaaaaa.

Also, my sister does that holier than thou thing - even while she brings her daughter round and then leaves her for us to deal with, while completely ignoring her. At those moments she is oh so slappable. But i kind of put it down to being the eldest child - messes with your brain, gives you sad little king type delusions.

as a matter of interest, you don't happen to be a middle child do you?

Also, what msg and nvg said is true - don't let it affect your future dealings with women - I can already see it coming out in your dislike of proposing and your uber PC attitude in some things.
Human beings function as totally separate universes all bumping into each other, don't pre form opinions, just keep bumping.

Now, This one had to be bought out and shown to the world.
Everybody - say thank you Arcadia.

http://www.myspace.com/seryndippyt

NVGHOSTRIDER

Tuesday, July 25, 2006 11:51 PM

Gotta be out soon. Probably be jawin' a little late tomorrow (gotta work with the recreation program kids for a few mornings this week). Love y'all.
'night.

"...And them chains them chains
Their 'bout to drag me down"

MSG

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 12:40 AM

I do agree with FMF the only way for a parent to know what is going on is for you to tell them. When we are little we are used to parents anticipating our wants and soothing our hurts and it's hard for us to realize as we get older that our wants are more complex, our problems are different and parents may not know...next time sweety say " Hey mom my eye is really bothering me and I think I might have hurt it..could you take a look at it?" then she knows what response you want:)
Just wait a few years and you may like your sister a ton. You just have to see one thing. She is a separate person with a whole identity, thoughs, feelings, and self concept and idea than you. What she is has nothing to do with you...she is who she is and you can find things about that to like:) Hang in there and remember nothing is worse than being a teenager..not hell...not pain...nothing. If you can get through this then you know you're tough enough for the real world...ok this all looks really preachy, but I swear it's true

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

FUTUREMRSFILLION

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 12:46 AM

NV I don't ACTUALLY have 47 kids.

At last count I had...let me see...nuttin into nuttin, caryy the nuttin........9 - assorted mine and borrowed. See my log - 47 children to unnerstand

one of the Forsaken TM

CALIFORNIAKAYLEE

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 1:13 AM

Whitefall, as someone living with a chronic illness, in this past year I've decided that trying not to burden people but still wanting my friends and family to notice is too complicated. So I've simplified things. If I need something (need to go home, need a glass of water to take medication, need to walker slower, whatever), I say so, and I don't let anyone talk me out of what I need. If someone asks me how I'm feeling, I give a short but honest answer ("My knees hurt, my hips are killing me, but I'm in a pretty good mood. How are you doing?"). I worry about taking care of myself, and don't worry about what people think about it.

Of course, I realize that as an adult, this is easier for me than it is for you. I can be largely self-sufficient, whereas you're dependent on others to take you home or take you to the store for eyedrops, etc. MsG is right, nothing is worse than being a teenager. That said, I do think that everyone can benefit from saying what they need and how they are feeling. As long as you aren't exaggerating how you feel or what you need, no one can fault you for that.

~CK

You can't take the sky from me...

ODDSBODSKINS

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 1:26 AM

@ Whitefall:

m'h'm, late teens can be tough on your relationships with your parents (only came out of them a few years ago). inclined to think alot of the time there's an element of it being very difficult to communicate, they're still so used to you as you were, while you're still getting used to the world being a whole differant place, and communication being this entirely differant minefield (i was going to say ballpark, but i think minefield is much more apt) which result in it being extremely difficult for you to talk, communicate or understand each other (shocked me when i realised my parents needing me to understand them as much as i needed them to understand me ). in addition to everything people've mentioned previously, that bit can be tough.

plus side is, if it is what the bother is, then it gets better your parents learn better how you're looking at the world, and maybe you can get some insight into how they look at it as well (usually only AFTER you move out, i think that's the standard criteria for it )

as for the eye thing, at the end of the day, stop rubbing it IS pretty sound advice. maybe seemed a little insensitive, but then, nobody gets it right all the time, nobodies going to realise exactly what you need from them 24/7, much less be able to act on it. (all confounded and compounded by the communication thing, means it improves in time too though ^.^ ) but on the whole, poeple do their best, and i doubt if your mothers an exception.

(wee bit whiney and mopey about your eye, but is it maybe more that it's not so much the eye you want help, care and attention with, so much as how low you feel sometimes? if so say to them, they can't take 2&2 to make 5 for themselves )

WHITEFALL

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 1:39 AM

I apologize for my earlier... bah, everything, I just felt like saying all that more or less inane crap. Sorry to make you all play freud.

That said... different but similar topic... it's 2:30am here, and I cant get any sleep because of the damned eye.

Whatever the hell is wrong with it, be it pink eye (only eye disease i've heard about, but seems sorta likely having been on a not particularly hygienic 747 recently) or just some insane irritant, it really gorram hurts, but all basic advice on eye care says dont rub it. And not only does that mean it hurts a lot, i also had trouble not doing it when trying to sleep.

If typing to an online firefly forum at 2:30am in a foreign country on vacation about eye-related insomnia isnt the weirdest thing i've ever done...

And yeah, I love my family, i do, i doubt the blindin' pain really improved my opinions of them. Ugh on the one hand i dont ask for help from them, on the other hand I should.

P.S. Anyone know how the NHS works with foriegners?

"But, these strong women characters?"

"Why aren't you asking 100 other guys why they don't write strong women characters?" -Joss Whedon

MSG

Wednesday, July 26, 2006 1:43 AM

Whitefall- the likelyhood is that with your rubbing you have now scratched your cornea..dull throb combined with gritty something is still in my eye feeling with redness...so get some eye drops lie down so that the outer edge of the injured eye is resting on the pillow and put a few drops in. It won't help it feel much better, but you really can't rub it any more or you will do permanent damage. Next brew a cup of tea and then put tea bag mostly drain in refrigeration for about 30 min. Then take cold tea bag and place it on your eye for about 20. That should help.

I choose to rise instead of fall- U2

PREV PAGE 7 8 9 10 11 12 13 14 15 16 NEXT PAGE