Sarah Michelle Gellar Topless In Next Flick?

POSTED BY: zoid
UPDATED: Wednesday, July 19, 2006 02:01
VIEWED: 7320
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ZOID

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 3:31 PM

Dearest Buffistas:

Email newsletter "AOTS Daily Onslaught" carried an item regarding the July 17th installment of "The Feed", stating that:

Quote:
"Sarah Michelle Gellar is so desperate for attention, she's going to take her clothes off to stay relevant. I've got the perfect script for her, it's called, "Sarah Michelle Gellar's Floppy Cruise to Topless Island."

(See also: http://tinyurl.com/9yzhf for the news article that spawned AOTS' response.)

Okay, so assuming that AOTS owner/operator G4 Media, Inc. (a subsidiary of Comcast) know a little something about libel laws, we'll conclude that the news item was verified, and that Ms. Gellar actually made those comments...

My questions are:
1. Do we care? If so, why? I don't see why a woman appearing topless in a movie is substantially different from a man baring his chest (or butt, Nathan) in a filmed entertainment. How exactly did a woman's breasts come to be labeled as 'genitalia' in the first place? They have nothing to do with the reproductive process, regardless how much fun they are to look at...

2. I thought SMG was one of those glassy-eyed Neo Christians. Won't she get excommunicated for such action? Ditto for even entertaining the notion publicly? *zoid affects Morgan Freeman voice from "Shawshank Redemption* "Oh, Freddy! Oh, Freddy..."

3. I forget what number 3 was going to be about. I mean, I know I had a question #3, but all this talk about women's breasts has driven me to distraction. Maybe the puritanical idealists are correct, hmmm?...

In conclusion, I don't think there's anything wrong with SMG taking off her top -- and bottom, for that matter -- in her next movie. I think women should have the same rights as men, not only in movies, but in the 'real world' as well. So, the next time you ladies see a man working shirtless at a construction site or in his yard, you should immediately whip off your own tops (you can continue wearing your brassieres only if the men are wearing theirs), strictly as a statement of equality, of course...

Shirtless, Even As We Speak,

zoid

P.S.
Although the AOTS item and posted reference are as genuine as the Internet on which I found them, my comments are made in the spirit of poking fun at the inconsistencies of Western religio-ideologies. Please don't take them as anything more serious. I'm sure SMG is a perfectly lovely young woman, both spiritually and physically (with a likewise perfectly acceptable 'rack-for-hire')...

P.P.S.
Aside to Morena Baccarin:
SMG is an astute observer of the acting game, if not necessarily an accomplished player. You would do well to consider her 'topless' strategy for garnering movie roles. I mean, I guarantee you would get multiple $7.50 admission fees from me, and I feel I speak for all the male (and more than a few female) Firefly fans as well...
(NB: Just joking, Morena... But seriously, how about cutting your fans a break and getting nekkid? I'm kidding... *Nods head*... *smiles disarmingly and shakes head*... *affects serious look and nods head slowly three times*... *iterate for at least 2 minutes, a la Eddie Izzard*...

)
_________________________________________________

"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'

CALLMESERENITY

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 3:46 PM

Okay, I don't care crap about SMG getting topless or not, but I just wanted to say: Oh Zoid, how you do amuse me! Thanks for making me laugh!

Yep, that's it.

Serenity,
First Officer of Destiny
President of The Juggled Gosling Chatroom
Bride8

http://callmeserenity.livejournal.com/

ZOID

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 4:04 PM

CMS:

Think nothing of it (literally), Missy-Ma'am.

*zoid goes outside, still shirtless (and bra-less), to mow the lawn and to wait for the Revolution to start*

Swelteringly,

zoid
_________________________________________________

"I aim to misbeha-... (pauses as a topless Inara walks past) ...er, what was I saying?" -Capt. Mal Reynolds, sorta, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'

JAHZARA

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:16 PM

I think the whole thing over being topless is so much more complex than what you've made it, Zoid, though I mostly agree with you.

There is nothing dirty about a woman's breasts, exactly the opposite, but our culture sees them as something dirty, and distracting. Truly, most times when you go see a movie, if there are breasts shown (and there are some major exceptions) it throws you from the story. We're so used to watching TV, where there are no breast shown.

As a, ahem, glassy-eyed Christian, and I have no problem with nudity, done in the right context. If children aren't exposed to it (that's in a sexual context), I simply don't care, but if I'm watching a movie, and its not gratuitous, you tend to be in the story so much it doesn't matter.

The main problem is America's great problem with being both sex-obssesed and sex-phobic at the same time. We see sex (and it is usually portrayed as) something dirty.

I think its incredibly unfair that full frontal shots of men are completely taboo.

And the whole bra thing, well, that's just fashion. I promise, when corsets come back in style, we'll be more PC.

Plus, Natalie Portman's doing it.

ZOID

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:44 PM

Jahzara wrote:

Quote:
I think the whole thing over being topless is so much more complex than what you've made it, Zoid, though I mostly agree with you...

Well, as I stated, I was being satirical. The topic is obviously more complex than a library full of essays could reasonably cover...

Quote:
...As a, ahem, glassy-eyed Christian, and I have no problem with nudity, done in the right context. If children aren't exposed to it (that's in a sexual context), I simply don't care, but if I'm watching a movie, and its not gratuitous, you tend to be in the story so much it doesn't matter.

I myself am a Christian (though not a 'glassy-eyed Neo Christian', a different dissertation for a different venue). We are as God made us. I would like to see more nudity, not less; although of the entire gamut of adult ages and races, not just wafer-thin, never-pregnant, 20-something, blonde females with silicone-infused 'breast substitutes'. As far as children seeing natural nude images of the sort I've just described, I think a lot of unhealthy 'body image'-related mental and physical conditions would thus be averted (read: eating disorders and derogatory self-images).

As long as the only socially acceptable images of nudity are those of (often surgically achieved) physical perfection, no person whose body falls elsewhere within the wide-ranging human norm will be acceptable. Time for a reality check, for our children's sake...

Quote:
...Plus, Natalie Portman's doing it.

*gulp!* You mean she's 'doing it'... right now? How can you possibly know that?
(NB: Okay, seriously. Do you mean Natalie is doing nudity in a film or that she's wearing a corset. I'm confused, but happily so...)

Only Slightly More Seriously,

zoid

P.S.
A person can be naked in a movie without engaging in sexual activity. I sleep naked. I shower naked. Furthermore, my wife and I occasionally engage in sexual activity while not being completely naked (or even topless)...

I don't know that it's necessarily wrong to let my children (boy 13, and girl 16) see actors depicting semi-nude, non-explicit sex scenes; although, I admit it undeniably makes me uncomfortable. But, since I believe that the sex act is both normal and natural, I try not to overreact by being too serious or too flippant. I want them to know that sex is a crucial part of being a healthy human being, not something 'dirty' or depraved. I also want them to know that an unhealthy midset towards sex (mostly just thinking that the manifest sex drive itself is 'dirty' or depraved) can lead to diseases of both the body and mind...

I stress to them that the sexual urge is just like any other bodily function: Like eating/drinking, eliminating bodily wastes, exercising, or even learning, all things must be done in proper balance, responsibly, and at an appropriate time. Okay, so, sometimes sex can be better done when not exactly perfectly balanced; but you know what I mean, and I don't tell that to the kids. Somethings ya gotta learn about for yerself.

But, hey, that's just my parenting style, not necessarily anyone else's...
_________________________________________________

"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'

ODDSBODSKINS

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 5:52 PM

and there i was expecting it to be a 'made you look' 'stead i got a good giggle out of it

SMG lately is too thin for it to be hugely attractive, if you could see her breasts it'd only mean her ribs were on hugely public display as well (and probabaly more prominant)(why oh why can i never learn to type 'more' and not 'mroe'...reached the point i automatically delete and retype the last three letters)

anyway, likewise happily confused by hearing said news about natalie portman, who i'm inclined to think is EASILY the best looking actress on screen. (i know all the dialogue to garden state except for here scenes...i loose concentration [okay so kidding, mostly])

ZOID

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:38 PM

Oddsbodskins wrote:

Quote:
...anyway, likewise happily confused by hearing said news about natalie portman, who i'm inclined to think is EASILY the best looking actress on screen...

Then you should rent "Closer". Natalie. Lingerie. Pink wig. Lighted stage with fireman's pole. Lap dancing.

'Nuff said?

Your Brother In Raging Heterosexuality (and not the least bit ashamed of it),

zoid

P.S.
The story itself is very original, if somewhat potboiler-y and tedious. But, Natalie's character -- quite apart from the skimpy outfits -- is well-performed (and Oscar-nominated) and compelling...
_________________________________________________

"I aim to misbehave." -Capt. Mal Reynolds, Serenity, a.k.a. 'the BDBOF'

ODDSBODSKINS

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 6:42 PM

Quote:
Originally posted by zoid:

Then you should rent "Closer". Natalie. Lingerie. Pink wig. Lighted stage with fireman's pole. Lap dance.

'Nuff said?

Your Brother In Raging Heterosexuality (and not the least bit ashamed of it),

zoid

oh i know, my cinema passes got much use when THAT came out. and opined to belief t'aint nothing to be ashamed of, i wear my portman-obsession quite contentedly on my sleeve (or, i would, but, it'd look really daft on all my shirts, you know, if it wasn't for that

)

JOSSISAGOD

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:37 PM

"glassy-eyed Neo Christians."?? I thought she was Jewish? Anyway, I don't know yet how to respond to the rest of your post, but rest assured when I think of something else, I'll be back.

JOSSIS(Most Definitely)AGOD

Self appointed Forsaken! Been on the list for a while now!

"Look at me, I'm STUPID!" The Doctor.

DEEPGIRL187

Tuesday, July 18, 2006 7:58 PM

In response to the insensitive idiot who wrote that article:

Sharon Stone has appeared topless in movies before, and yet she's a respected actress (not to mention highly intelligent). So what's this about

Quote:
"Sarah Michelle Gellar is so desperate for attention, she's going to take her clothes off to stay relevant."

Sexist idiots like that need to get a clue.

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"These words are all I have so I'll write them."

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